Had Sacha told Sheppard what Alek had done to her? Did Sheppard know Alek had been her first—and would be her only—love?
If not, he soon would.
The sweepers had left the lights on, and a golden glow lit up the foyer, highlighting the polished tile stamped with an elaborate T intertwined with an uber-feminine U—a gift he’d presented Sacha with on their six-month anniversary.
He put his coffee and the apples he’d picked up at Starbucks on the table beneath a gilded mirror, and after hanging up their coats, he collected his sustenance—braced himself—and went through into the main room. It was an open concept unit with a long island separating the living area from the kitchen. A darkened hallway branched off leading to the bedrooms. The dining area sat neglected in an alcove surrounded by windows.
Seeing the place through his eyes tonight was nothing compared to how he’d seen it the last time he walked out the door. It had been through a flood of moisture because he’d known he was leaving behind a home full of beautiful memories he’d vowed to treasure forever. At that point, he’d seen Sacha twice at the small hotel where Maks had tracked her. He’d gotten but two brief glimpses of her, both in the evening when she’d opened the door to accept a food delivery. The urge to go to her had been crippling, and because he knew he would eventually cave, he’d cut himself off and put Sergei on guard duty. The guy had been in denial about his family’s death and had been begging for something to do. Since Vasily had refused to place him, Alek had. And he’d lived to regret it because his cousin had lost track of Sacha the day she checked out of the hotel.
“Nostalgia’s a funny thing.”
He lifted his head to see he’d stopped next to one of the end tables that held a conch shell he and Sacha had brought home from the only trip they’d taken together. He’d wanted to see her in a bathing suit so he’d taken her to St. Barts for a week. Straight up porn. That’s how he would describe those curves in her red bikini. God, the things they’d done together that week. His angel may have been an uncertain, hesitant virgin when he’d met her, but her ability to learn and learn well had turned their alone time into one hell of an enjoyable thing.
“Yeah, it’s, uh…yeah.”
“You’re curiously well-contained considering what Sacha might be doing right now.”
The brutally direct observation had the air whooshing from Alek’s lungs in a painful burst, made worse because it came from his uncle. Anger had him revealing himself in a way he would only ever do with this man.
“And you think bringing that out in the open is going to help me keep a lid on the fucking horror trying to escape that dark, fucked-up place inside me right now? Do you think I’m not smothering the goddamn possibility of them being together as quickly as it repeatedly bobs to the surface? I want to go stand over Maks with a fucking whip and demand he works harder and faster to get me what I want. This shouldn’t be taking him so long. But at the same time, I don’t want to know where she is because I’m concerned the minute you leave me alone, I’ll be rolling up in front of her place with my fucking trunk lined and ready to transport an innocent man’s bludgeoned body to a bog in Jersey.”
He slammed his treasured apples on the end table next to his coffee.
“I want to rip through this motherfucking city and wreak havoc until that goddamn woman is standing before me. I want to clear the way, and then do you know what I want? Who I’ve become?” he demanded, breathing roughly. “I want to experience the pleasure of having her come to me all on her own. Like the self-entitled asshole I am, I want to sit like a fucking king on my throne and have the angel I’ve been searching for crawl up and take her place on my lap because she knows that’s where she belongs. And that’s where she wants to be. I want this to be a done deal so I don’t hurt anybody along the way. But there’s also that part of me who’ll happily kill a thousand men if that’s what it takes to get to her.”
He finally shut his fucking mouth and snapped into focus to find Dmitri long gone and Vasily leaning against the bar in front of the large window, sipping his coffee.
“That’s more like it.” His uncle slowly came around the couch to stand in front of him. He cupped the side of Alek’s face. “You continue to keep that bottled up, it’s going to spill over at the most inconvenient time. I don’t think Sacha would respond well to something like that. Knowing her, she wouldn’t understand it at all.”
With an affectionate pat, Alek was released. He’d been provoked on purpose. Embarrassing that he hadn’t caught that before going off. But he did feel better.