“Steak with the sides you like.” I put my plate down and come to sit beside him.
“It looks like shit. I wouldn’t even serve this to my dog, if we had one. You expect me to eat this?” he asks as his beastly eyes drill into me.
I look down at my smaller portion and look at everything on my plate. The meat looks succulent, the sides all are exactly how Trent likes them. I look back to Trent and silently question what he’s saying. “I’m sorry,” I mumble as I feel tears beginning to fill my eyes.
“You’re gonna cry now? Just like a baby. I say it looks like shit and you’re gonna cry. It’s not like it took you long to make it. God, Lily, you’re so ungrateful. I’m working my ass off so I can give you everything, and you repay me by making the worst dinner I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He shakes his head and leans forward to grip the edge of the table. I look and see his knuckles changing color and I can’t help but let the salt water escape from my eyes. Tears cling to my cheeks and silently slide down to drip into my plate.
“I’m sorry,” I say again while looking down at my food.
“Jesus, you’re so useless. I can’t believe how much of a disappointment you’ve turned out to be. You’re not even a good lay; you never have been.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see him stand. I’m looking up at him, begging him wordlessly to stay and to eat dinner with me. He picks the plate up and flings it toward the sink. “I’m not eating that trash. I’m going out. I’ll be back later.”
Trent leaves the small kitchen table and goes into our room. I’m left sitting alone, feeling like a complete failure. If I can’t make my husband happy with something as simple as dinner, there’s no way I’ll ever make him proud of me.
He comes back a few minutes later, dressed in nice pants and a shirt, and smelling of the new cologne he bought for himself. “I’ll be back later. Clean this shit up, Lily. In my briefcase in the bedroom there’s an assignment you have to do. It’s due next week, but I want at least half of it done by the time I get home.”
Looking up at him, my cheeks wet from the free falling tears, I simply nod and whisper, “Okay.”
“Doesn’t really look like you’ll have time to eat. You really are lucky you have me, because if you didn’t, I’d hate to think how much fatter you’d be. I mean, God, look at you. What do you weigh? Like a hundred and thirty pounds? You’re so lucky I love you.”
“They told me at the hospital I was under weight,” I say through quiet sobs.
“Yeah I bet it was a nurse who said it to you. They’re so stupid over there. Nurses say all types of crap. I can tell you, as a doctor you’re definitely over weight.”
“You’re not a doctor yet,” I let slip. Then realize what I said and clasp a hand to my mouth.
Trent stands still for a moment, and then comes to stand beside me. He towers over me, his frame hovering so close I can feel the heat rolling off him. “What. Did. You. Say?” he asks slowly. The anger is gripping him, making my heart pound at dangerously rapid speeds in my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I choke through a strained sob. I can barely breathe as the fingers of dread tighten more around my windpipe, making me choke on my sorrow and fear.
“You should be. You’re damn lucky I keep you around. No one will ever want you, Lily. You’re useless and ugly. Just remember that.” He finally moves, taking a step back. I tightly close my eyes and brace myself for whatever is about to happen.
But as my ragged breath finally begins to ease, I hear the click of the front door and know he’s gone. I open my eyes and take a look toward the door. He’s definitely gone. I pick at the carrot on my plate, pushing the contents around, not really hungry enough to eat any of it. Standing, I take my plate and empty it in the bin, then clean the mess where Trent threw his dinner.
It takes me just over half an hour to clean the kitchen and to get all traces of mashed potato off the blinds and the microwave where it splattered. I go into our room and go to his briefcase, opening it and getting the top papers out.
I go back into the kitchen and look over his assignment. This is going to take me a while to do, and I think I’ll have to spend Thanksgiving on it. But I’m more than okay with that, because we’re due to go to Trent’s uncle’s house. John.
He creeps me out. Every time we’re anywhere he is, he’s always trying to corner me and touch me. Most times I’ve managed to escape him, sometimes he’s gotten his tongue into my mouth. I hate it; I hate him. I tried telling Trent a few times, and he just says I overreact and his uncle wouldn’t do that. He says his aunt Terri is so much more attractive than me, and why would John stoop as low as to try anything on me? But either way, I’m relieved I’ll have to stay here to finish his assignment.