Ugly(45)

“She’s right, you are,” Liam pipes up to add.

I smile at them both. They really are good people. “Thank you.” I look out the window and focus on the darkness of the night.

Liam and Shayne talk between themselves, and occasionally add me into the conversation, but my silence tells them I’m not really in the mood to talk.

When we reach Shayne’s studio, Liam gives her a kiss and asks us if we want him to stay. Shayne whispers, “Girl time, Liam. Lily and I need to talk. She needs to make a plan and not have a testosterone-filled guy hanging around.”

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll come back in the morning. Any problems, just call me.” He kisses her on the lips, as I look away, giving them privacy. “See ya, Lily.”

“Bye, and thank you for coming to pick me up.”

“You’re welcome.” He gets back into his car and leaves.

“You okay?” Shayne asks as she rattles around in her handbag for her keys.

“I’ll be okay. I just need to work out what I’m going to do. We’re both going to the same university, so avoiding him will be impossible. But if I can use your computer, I can see if I can get a dorm room this late. If not, I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe I can find a room for rent somewhere, but I’ll need to find a job, too.”

“We’ll do it in the morning. How about for now,” she stops talking and kicks the bottom of the front door which is stuck. “For now,” she continues, “we eat the triple chocolate ice cream in my freezer and just talk about what’s going on.”

“Sounds like a perfect plan,” I say, resigned to the fact that tonight, I’m going to have to tell Shayne everything.

We go inside and she shows me around her small, tidy loft. It’s cute and cozy and I can see why she likes it here.

“So,” she says as she gets two spoons out of her cutlery drawer and the ice cream tub out of the freezer.

“So.” I sit on the small sofa under the only large window in her room.

“It’s not my business, Lily. Really it’s not. But behind your beautiful green eyes, you hide so many secrets. And I’m sure I’m not going to want to know, but in a way I think it would be better for you to tell someone.” She comes and sits beside me, and offers me a spoon. “I’m ready when you are.” She dips the spoon in the untouched ice cream and grabs a big spoonful.

“It’s kind of…” I avert my eyes and look past her not at her. I don’t want her to see everything I’ve gone through. I’m not scared she’ll judge me, but that she’ll feel sorry for me. That’s more abhorrent to me than judgement.

“Take your time, I’ve got all night.” She smiles and jiggles her eye brows trying to soften the intense and heavy mood encompassing us.

“I don’t remember a good time in my life.” I start but stop when Shayne reaches her hand out to touch me. “Please, don’t. Just let me tell you.”

The next three hours is spent telling Shayne my life story. Every part of it, leaving nothing out. As I finish telling her about my life I look at the ice cream, and other than the first spoonful she took, the rest has turned into thick chocolate milk. She’s not touched it, and nor have I.

“My God,” she says still holding the container of mush. “My God,” she says again. Her face is blank, she’s showing no expression at all. “My God,” she says for a third time.

“There’s been some good parts, like meeting you and Liam. You especially. You’re so strong and positive, and I really strive to be that myself.”

“You’re seventeen.”

“Eighteen tomorrow,” I correct her.

“What? Your birthday is tomorrow, and you haven’t told anyone?”

I shrug my shoulders. “No one ever asked and besides that, I’ve never had a reason to make a big deal out of it.”

“That’s because you’ve been broken down, Lily. You’ve been stomped on your entire life.”

“There were good times, I’m sure of it. I sometimes dream of when I was little and we’d be at the park. Mom, Dad, me and a little boy.”

“Do you have a brother?

“No. It’s always been just me.” I take the ice cream container from her hands. “I’m sorry you wasted your ice cream, I’ll buy you a new one.”

“You will not. It’s just ice cream,” she scowls at me. I smile again because this is just how Shayne is. She’s kind and beautiful and compassionate. Why I was worried about telling her, I have no idea.

“Thank you for listening.”