Ugly(40)
I smile at him, “Okay, I’ll wait.” I go and sit on a bench which is a few feet away and wait for Liam to come back out. When he does, he’s hold a shopping bag and he’s swinging it. He looks so young and carefree, and really at twenty, he is.
“I got her a selection of things so she can’t complain. Not that she would.” I stand as he approaches me. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
“Thanks,” I say, because really I didn’t want to walk home in the dark, but I also didn’t want to inconvenience Liam either.
“Your chariot, milady,” he teases as he opens my door. It makes me laugh, because Liam’s kind of a goof.
Once we’re in the car, he turns the music off and asks, “You excited about college?”
“Yeah I am. I’m looking forward to it.”
“What will you be doing?”
“I want to be an English teacher, so I’ll be studying to become one.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, why?” I look at him and he’s got a smirk on his face.
“With how smart Shayne says you are, I’m amazed you’re not going to be more. Like a doctor or a lawyer or something fancy like that.”
“What? I’m not smart enough to do anything like that, and besides, English is my favorite thing in the world. Books and reading. I figure seeing as I can’t write a book, I may as well learn how to teach it to kids.” Liam chuckles and shakes his head. “What? Turn here.” I point to the right.
“You really underestimate yourself, Lily. Shayne said you were always second guessing yourself and I didn’t believe her. Now, I see what she means. You’re gorgeous and smart, don’t let anyone else tell you anything different. But mostly, don’t let yourself try to talk you out of how smart you are.”
His statement leaves a heaviness in the car, and I almost want to jump out and go the rest of the way on foot. I feel under the spotlight, as if all eyes are on me. Watching to see what I’m going to say or do. “Yeah, okay,” I say, desperately trying to find something to say to break the dense energy swirling around. “Turn left up there.” Although I’m giving him directions to the Hackly residence, I still feel the weight sitting on my chest.
When we get to the Hackly’s, Liam pulls up in front. “Thank you for the ride,” I say as I get out of the car.
“Anytime. See ya,” he responds happily.
Maybe I’m reading too much into what he said, or maybe he’s just trying to save me from any further embarrassment. I close the door to his car and walk up the driveway to the front door.
I go into my room, change into my pajamas and lie down. Grabbing my copy of The Crucible, I start reading it again. But the words seem all jumbled on the page. Not that I can’t read them, more like everything that’s happened tonight is trying to force its way to the front of my mind.
Trying to focus I’m consumed, absolutely eaten away by the man in the deli, Max. The way he winked at me, it was as if he noticed me. Saw past the ugly exterior, and the broken interior. From a distance he didn’t see the damage, he just saw a girl.
As I slip into unconsciousness, I dream of a time when I was a little girl. Mom, Dad, me and a little blond boy playing in the park. Happiness wrapping around us, laughter touching us to the very core.
“Who the fuck brought you home?” I startle awake to Trent jumping on my chest as he sits on me and open-handedly smacks me across the face. The smell of alcohol is so coarse and dense that it overtakes me.
“What?” I struggle against his entire weight on me.
“Dad said a guy brought you home, who the hell is it?”
“Liam brought me home. He offered to drive me. It was late, Trent. I swear nothing happened.”
“You stupid bitch, what do you take me for?” He slaps me again and this time I cringe as his hand descends onto my cheek.
“I swear, nothing happened. He brought me home, that’s it. Nothing else.”
Trent goes to hit me again, but this time I close my eyes and cover my face. “Nothing happened?” he half slurs.
“Nothing at all. He was getting candy for Shayne and saw me walking out. That’s all. Nothing else.”
“Oh, baby.” He collapses on top of me and starts kissing me. “You make me so mad sometimes. I’m sorry, baby, but next time just walk like I said for you to, okay? If you just did what I told you to do, then I wouldn’t have been angry.”
He’s hugging me, and through the overwhelming alcohol smell, I can also smell a rose-like perfume. It’s strong, like he’s sprayed cologne on, but what man sprays a floral scent on his skin? “Sorry,” I say, knowing I probably should’ve just walked home.