Strange, yes I know. I’m somewhere between awake and sleeping, that space where if you close your eyes, your mind will begin to race. But if you keep your eyes open, all you want to do is sleep.
Max takes off my shoes and lays them beside his. “Do you want to take a shower?” he asks.
“I’d like to have a bath,” I say as I stretch my arms over my head.
“I’ll go draw it for you.” He goes to his huge bathroom, and I can hear the water running. He comes back in, gets me a t-shirt and boxer briefs, then takes them into the bathroom. I watch as he does all these things for me.
When the bath is ready, he comes and sits on the bed beside me, stroking my face. “Your bath is ready. I’ve dimmed the lights and put on some soft music for you. I want you to eat something, too. So I can either make you some toast, or I can call for take-out?”
I look up at him and admire him. The way he’s looking at me, the tenderness of his touch and his protective nature, his wanting to care for me, all of that pushes me further into the zone of love. He truly is perfect. “Thank you, Max. I know I’ve said it to you before, but thank you. You truly are amazing.”
He leans down and kisses me. “You’re my snowflake. I’d do anything for you.”
“I’m understanding just how much of yourself you give to me.”
“And I want to give you so much more. But for now, I want you to go enjoy your bath.” He holds his hand out to me and helps me out of the bed. “I’ll make toast,” he adds even though I didn’t give him an answer. But toast is perfect, because it’s all I can stomach.
I go into the bathroom, strip and sink into the large bath. The warm water embraces me, and soothes everything. Why is it soaking in a hot bath, with soothing music and dimmed lighting, actually feels good? I have no idea, but I revel in the decadence and comfort of this moment.
When I get out, I feel so much more relaxed and calm, as if every problem has been erased and all I’m left with is a warm, fuzzy feeling I can identify as happiness. I go out to the kitchen and Max is preparing toast and hot chocolates. “Extra marshmallows,” he says as he looks down at one of the hot chocolates.
“Thank you, just what I need.” I sit on a stool at the breakfast bar and I watch Max spread peanut butter on two pieces of toast. “Thank you,” I say, as he slides the plate over to me.
“I’d prefer you to eat more. You haven’t eaten much since you got the envelope, and I was beginning to worry.”
“I have you taking care of me.”
He grins at me, and we eat in silence, just relaxing to the soft sounds of the mellow music Max has playing throughout the apartment. When we finish, we opt to leave everything as it is, and we head to bed. Once we brush our teeth, we climb into bed together.
As my eyes begin to drift, Max holds me tight against his warm body.
“One day, will you tell me about your tattoos?” I ask as I rest my head on his chest and he drags his fingers softly through my hair.
“There’s nothing to tell. I wanted them, and I got them. The tiger I got because I find the tiger a noble and strong animal, and the phoenix I got because I like how it can rise from its ashes and become stronger than its past.”
“Wow. For you it’s all about strength.”
“Mental strength. Now shh, you have to be up early tomorrow. You’re seeing Katherine and we’re flying out to New York.”
My eyes are already closed and I can barely make out any sounds.
The exhaustion of today has knocked me out. I drift off to sleep and have the most peaceful slumber I’ve had in a long time.
“I love you,” Max tells me in my dream.
“I love you,” I respond.
“How was your session with Katherine?” Max asks as I try and settle in my seat.
“Um.” I’m so nervous. This is the first time I’ve ever been on an airplane. “You sure these things are safe?” I ask, completely forgetting Max even asked me a question. Logically I know the chance of crashing is virtually non-existent, but that doesn’t stop my nerves from tap dancing inside my body.
“Relax, it’ll be fine.” Max grips my hands. “You’re shaking,” he says as he squeezes my hand in comfort.
I look around the plane, making note of all the exits, and looking above to see where my life jacket is. “I’ve never been on a plane before.”
“It may be your first, but it won’t be your last. Take it easy. When the plane takes off, I’ll get you a drink.”
My eyes are darting around everywhere. “Okay,” I say and finally sit back in my seat.