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Ugly(125)

By:Margaret McHeyzer


“Would you like a red or a white?” I shrug my shoulders in answer. “I’ll order one of each then.”

“Max, I’m happy to drink water. Please, don’t order any wine. You’re driving and I have work tomorrow,” I beg him. “Please?”

“No wine.” He closes the menu and lays it flat. “Do you know what you’d like to eat?”

I’m perusing the menu, but everything looks so good. “Have you been here before?”

“Yes, a few times.”

“Will you order for me then? I don’t know what to get, everything looks great.”

“I will.” He keeps looking over the menu.

When our waiter comes and Max starts relaying our orders, I notice how Max slows his pronunciation down so he’s understood. This is the first time I’ve picked up how Max speaks when he’s outside his comfort zone.

The waiter takes the menus and leaves. “Do you know, it only now occurred to me I don’t know much about you,” I say to Max.

“Ask away, I’m an open book.”

“How old are you?” I ask as I sip on the water the waiter bought to the table.

“I’m thirty-three on September fourteenth.”

“You’re only six years older than me?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. Thanks for the confidence boost.” He looks away, clutching at his chest in mock hurt.

“Sorry,” I mumble though really I’m laughing. “Have you been married before?”

“No, never married. Came close once, until I discovered she was more interested in my money than me. I’ve had two other long-term girlfriends.”

“What happened with them?”

“We drifted apart. We didn’t end on bad terms, just each went in different directions. And I had one girlfriend, who was a friend before; we thought we’d try to see if we could be a couple, but it didn’t last because we’re better as friends.”

“You’re still friends with her now?” I ask in surprise.

“We are. She works for me.”

I dart my eyes away and can feel numerous questions starting to form just from his statement. “Um.” But I’m not sure where to start.

“She runs one of the branches of the firm.” I’m not sure how I feel about this information. I can feel something unsettling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling is foreign and unknown to me. “Hey, don’t worry. She’s married now, and has been for over a year.”

“Worry?” I ask, but my crackling voice deceives us both.

“You looked worried, maybe even jealous.” Is that what I was feeling? Jealousy? “I must admit, it’s kinda sexy.”

“I’ve never felt anything like this before. Is that what it is? Jealousy? Because I feel like I want to scream and shout and tell her to back away.”

“Yep, sounds like jealousy to me.”

“Hmm,” I groan. This is completely uncomfortable. This physical reaction is logically stupid. He’s not with her, and I’ve made no commitment to him, nor has he made one to me, so it feels unjustified.

“Anyway, tell me about your day?” Max picks up his glass and drinks his water.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about something.”

“What’s that?”

“I need closure on my Mom and Dad. More specifically, my Dad. My mom died when I was young, so I can’t get anything from her, but my Dad, he’s the biggest part of my life I remember, before Trent. And I really want to know what happened for him to treat me so poorly.”

“Have you tried asking him?”

“I’m not sure I can face him. And besides, I left when I was seventeen, and I never looked back. Though I still don’t know who was worse, him or Trent.”

“Do you know where he lives?”

“I know where he used to live, I have no idea if he’s still there. I don’t know anything. It’s been so many years, anything could’ve happened to him.”

“I can help if you like?”

“How?”

“I can hire a private investigator, get them to find your dad and see what information they can get.”

The waiter approaches and places our meals in front of us. He asks if we’d like cracked pepper and when we both decline, he leaves us.

“Can I think about it? Although I’m ready to close that door from my childhood, I’m just not sure I’m prepared to find out they did and said all those things to me just because they didn’t want me. I mean, they could’ve given me away, they could’ve put me up for adoption, or they could’ve handed me to the fire department. I just need some time to really consider your offer.”