“Thank you,” he mumbles near my ear. I let out a sigh, and take a deep breath in. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?” he asks and chuckles.
“No, it was nice.”
He holds my hand for a minute before handing over my school bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow, after school?” he asks.
“Of course,” I say as I take a step closer to my house. Trent stays on the sidewalk and watches me as I go to the door.
“See you tomorrow, beautiful Lily,” he calls after me.
I smile and go inside to start on my homework, but what I’ll really be doing is thinking about that amazing kiss and hoping next time, I may be strong enough to kiss Trent on the lips.
Lying on my bed, I let my eyes drift shut. A stark, cold silence has fallen over every inch of the house. I turn on my bed and look through the worn curtains. The dark outside is broken by the soft beams of the shimmering moon.
With my hands tucked under my head, and my knees brought up to my abdomen I simply watch the night. My eyes get heavier, and my mind floats towards happiness. To a place where I’m pretty, I’m smart and I can move through every day without suffocation and dread.
I’m woken by the slam of the front door and Dad yelling in a slur, “You better be in your room you fucking ugly, dumb bitch.”
“Whoooo’s herrrreee?” I hear a high-pitched woman’s voice. Her speech is as garbled as Dad’s and I know they’re both drunk.
Dad’s never brought anyone else home, and just the mere thought of someone other than Dad here terrifies me.
“No one. A stupid, ugly loser who stays with me. Wish she’d fuck off.”
The woman giggles. “Come on, Stanley. Don’t worry about her, let’s go to your roooom,” she drunkenly says.
“Where are you, bitch?” Dad yells louder.
I bring the blanket up and hide beneath it. I know it’s stupid, it’s not going to save me, but I can’t make a run for the closet in the hallway, he’ll see me. Maybe if I remain quiet, if I don’t say anything, he’ll just forget about me.
“Where the fuck are you?” he shouts even louder.
“I’m here,” I say in the quietest voice I can. Hoping he hears me and that’s enough to leave me alone.
My heart is beating with such fury I can hear it in my ears. My body begins to shake and I feel a heavy lump of terror sitting in the pit of my stomach. Please Dad, just leave me alone. But I know tonight is different.
“Get out here!”
Silently, I stand from my bed. My legs are wobbly and now the cold inside my room is also inside me. Slowly I tiptoe out to where Dad and his companion are. Dad’s sitting in his chair and the woman is on her knees in front of him.
Dad turns to look at me. His face is demonic, his eyes are full of wrath.
“See this?” he says as he laces his fingers through the brunette woman’s hair. “This is the only thing you’ll ever be good for. Better start doing it soon and making some money, because you’re one dumb and ugly bitch.” He bucks his hips up, and I instantly feel the bile rise to the back of my throat.
Turning, I go back to my room because I don’t want to see him doing that to the woman.
As I slide under the covers, I hear his heavy footsteps coming toward my room. “Get up!” he yells as he bolts into my room.
I bring the blanket over my head, and pray. Pray to God to finally end me right now and stop me breathing. I can’t take it anymore. This can’t be what I was born for. This isn’t what life is supposed to be. Is it?
“You fucking little slut, you’ll come and watch so you know what you have to do.” The blanket gets ripped away from my head and Dad grabs onto my hair, dragging me out of bed. “It should’ve been you who died. It’s all your fucking fault,” he screams, as he keeps dragging me toward the family room.
“You’re hurting me, please stop,” I cry as I clutch onto his hand, trying to use my feet to push along so the pain isn’t as intense.
“You stupid bitch. You don’t deserve to fucking live. They do, but not you.” He slams me against the wall.
“Dad, please stop,” I beg. The way Dad thumped me against the wall made my head hit it hard.
“Look at what you did.” He points at the wall and I turn to see a small hole.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I plead, hoping he’s not going to keep hitting me.
“You will be.” His belt is already unbuckled, and he rips it out of the loops holding it in place on his pants.
I cower and cover my face in defense. The first strike is excruciatingly painful. He hits with so much force I can feel the skin on my arms burning. The second strike is worse than the first. He hits on the same spot and I try to curl myself further into a small ball. The third, and fourth strikes are fueled by nothing more than utter hate.