I want to stay angry at her, but I can’t. Propping my elbows on the bar, I grab fistfuls of my hair and tug. I can’t regret a single moment with her. I can’t blame her for choosing to be with someone normal. Someone who hasn’t left and hurt her.
I came back to Madison for Asher. And Asher is still there. I promised him I’d not leave again, and here I am, running.
Hell.
I push back and glance around me, at the half-empty bar. I’m supposed to be at Damage Control, working. Making sure Ash is fine. Trying to put myself back together.
Giving Erin the gift I bought her four years ago, the one I never got a chance to tell her about. It’s hers anyway, no matter what she does with it—or with me.
I love her, no matter what she decides to do. I want to see her, hear from her mouth she wants to be with another—and I’ll leave her be. I want her to be happy, even if it rips my heart out.
Throwing some money on the bar, I take my leave and turn my bike back the way I came.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Erin
The two-hour drive flies by. The whole way my mind is elsewhere—on Tyler and his reaction when he sees Jax.
I hope Dad has told Mom what I’m planning on doing. She’s resting in bed when I arrive, but her color is good, and she opens her arms for me.
I sit by her side on the bed and hug her. “Glad to see you looking better.”
“I am. You should stay the weekend. Rest, too. Eat with us.”
Mom is convinced that food outside her house has no nutrients in it. “Another time, Mami. I want Jax to meet my friends.”
“Why so suddenly?” Her dark eyes glow with mischief. “Is there someone in particular you want Jax to meet?”
Dad is looking at me from the door, and I smile at him, hoping he can rescue me. I can’t lie to Mom. She sees right through me.
Fortunately, he steps inside and clears his throat. “I think letting Jax have a few days with his mama is a good idea. And before you say it,” he raises his hands when Mom starts complaining, “it’s only a weekend, and the doctor said you should rest. I’ll take good care of you, Mami. Don’t you want to spend a weekend alone with your amazing husband, hmm?”
He waggles his brows, and Mom laughs. I stifle my laughter as I watch them. Their love shines bright, and naturally my thoughts turn to Tyler. He’s my magnetic north and everything I am reaches for him.
Soon. Soon I’ll know if he’ll take me, and Jax. Take us both.
Excitement and nerves make me slightly nauseous. Mom is of course concerned when I refuse to scarf down a huge plate of her creamy lasagna, but I just can’t stomach anything right now.
Dad whispers in her ear, and she smiles.
“What are you telling her?” I put my plate on her bedside table and pretend to glower at them. “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing important.” He grins.
“Traitor,” I mutter, but my mouth twitches. “Well, I guess I should be going.”
Jax is next door, playing with the neighbor’s kids. I hug my parents, give Mom stern instructions to rest and take her pills and go pick my boy up.
When I ring the bell, I can hear his voice mingled with those of the other kids. The neighbor, Nelly, opens the door, stares blankly at me for a long moment and then grins widely.
“Come on in, sweetie. Here for Jax, huh? We didn’t know you were coming.”
I smile and nod—and then crouch and open my arms as a cannonball with Jax’s face careens into me.
I pick him up and spin him around. “Jaxon.”
“Mommy.” He laughs delightedly, and his dark eyes sparkle like jewels.
“Would you like to come with Mommy this weekend?” I put him down and kneel to be his height. “I’ll cook for you, and you will see where Mommy lives and meet her friends.”
He nods, a bit cautiously, but still smiling.
My baby boy. I pick him up again and turn to thank Nelly. Then I bundle him up in his coat and hood and gloves and carry him to the car. As I strap him in the baby seat in the back, I kiss him soundly on his chubby cheek and inhale his sweet scent.
Let’s go find Daddy.
***
On the way, Jax is talking a thousand miles an hour, all of it questions—why I live in another town, why it’s called Madison, why I go to college and why I need a job. Why I have friends and why I want him to meet them, why it’s dark at night and cold in winter, why he has to sit in the back and why his car seat is blue—and then promptly falls asleep.
I glance at him in the rearview mirror from time to time. He’s so cute, with his head tilted to the side, his small mouth half open.
Tyler… Will he be happy to know he has one more person in this world to call his own — a tiny mirror of himself? I can’t help comparing the way they look—their dark locks, their chocolate eyes, their intense brows, their infectious grins.