“I fucked up, man. I asked Erin to look out for you. I thought she was into you.” He reaches up and rubs the shaved side of his head. “Dammit.”
What is he talking about? The heat leeches out of me, and ice coats my insides. “I don’t understand.”
Zane shakes his head and walks into his booth. I follow him, about to launch myself at him, grab him by the collar, shake him and demand an explanation, because a sickening suspicion has taken hold of my mind and won’t let go—when I hear familiar voices behind me.
Ash and Audrey walk into Damage, discussing something. Their heads are down, bent together, and Audrey’s red curls tangle with Ash’s dark spikes.
“But Tess said Erin will bring him over to meet us. She seemed so excited about it.”
“The fuck she is. I’ll kick her teeth out.”
“Ash!” Audrey grabs his arm, and they stop as the door closes behind them. “If Erin loves Jax, then that’s her right.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not her fucking right to string my brother along, okay?” Ash clenches his fists and looks up.
He freezes.
I glance from him to Zane, who curses under his breath.
“Jax.” My voice sounds hollow in my ears. “Who’s Jax?”
Ash’s eyes are dark with anger. Audrey’s face is white.
But it’s Zane who speaks. “She’s been talking about him for years now. I’m sorry, fucker.”
The room tilts, and I shake my head to clear it. I need to get out. Need air. Grabbing my jacket from the desk, I shove past Ash and Audrey and stride out of Damage and into the cold.
***
The frigid air stings every bit of exposed skin as I speed down the road out of town. The night closes around me like a fist. A deeper darkness is expanding inside my head.
I tap my fingers on the handlebars—one, two, three.
And again.
Where am I heading? I have no fucking clue. I need out. I need to drive until the anger has left my system just enough to let me slow down. Cars and trucks zip by and I accelerate, my hands clenching on the handles.
It’s damn funny. No matter how fast I go, I can’t outrun my bad choices or catch up with the lost time.
Erin has Jax.
I have nothing.
My bike roars as I take a tight turn.
This can’t be happening. I was with her this morning. I kissed her, held her. Why wouldn’t she tell me the truth? Is this… is it payback for vanishing from her life before?
Erin wouldn’t do something like that. She wouldn’t.
But she’s with Jax. She’ll bring him over, so he can meet her friends. She talked about him for years. Years. How many times did you wonder who she ended up with? You thought she waited for you for so long? You thought you got lucky all of a sudden?
Well, you thought wrong.
The helmet’s too tight. I can’t breathe. I stop at the side of the road and pull it off. What am I doing? What should I do?
Fuck this.
I ram the helmet back on and return to the road. I still have some rage to burn. I ride as if the hounds of hell are running at my heels and have to wonder at my luck for not getting caught going well over the speed limit when the rest of my life keeps going to shit.
Have to love the irony of it.
A town flickers in the distance, and I head that way. It’s Rockford. I’ve been there a couple of times in the past. I can’t remember much, but there must be bars. Every town has bars. My luck can’t be that bad.
I roll through the streets, cross a bridge over the Rock River, and weave through the town until I find an open bar and park outside. I store my helmet in the tail case, pull my leather gloves off and march inside.
A tall female bartender with an impressive rack wanders over when I plant my ass on a stool and my hands on the bar. I ask for tequila. She pours me a shot, and I grab the bottle.
“Leave it,” I say.
She frowns and opens her mouth, probably to tell me to get lost, but then sighs and walks away.
I down the first shot of what promises to be a really fucking long night. I pour myself another. “To Jax,” I mutter and raise my glass in mock salute. “May you and Erin be happy together.”
Fuck, it hurts. It’s like there’s a goddamn knife stuck in my chest. I refill my glass and close my eyes as I down it.
Erin’s face flashes before me—her eyes bright, her smile wide, her gorgeous body naked and—
Who needs a glass? I gulp tequila from the bottle, feel it burn a path through my chest, through the echoing emptiness there.
I put the bottle down and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Fastest record of turning from the best day of my life to the worst. A new high.
She said she loves me. And that makes it more difficult to bear. Why did she lead me on when she has someone else? Why did she sleep with me, kiss me, hug me, give me a glimpse of what I could have? It was so much easier when I had no hope and barely any memory of what real happiness felt like.