Tyler(42)
“To come back,” I gasp. Dammit, no air is entering my lungs. “To Ash. And Erin.”
“Fuck that. Damn benzo withdrawal symptoms.”
My body tingles, and my stomach churns. I think I’m about to puke my guts out. I try to grab for something as the floor falls away.
“Tyler.” A strong hand grips mine. “Calm down, okay? Breathe, dammit. What do you need?”
“Erin,” I gasp, her name filling my head. The one good memory in my past and present, my one bright light. “Erin.”
Chapter Twelve
Erin
Tessa runs out of her building as I park at the curb. Her blond hair is pulled up in a ponytail like mine, and she’s dressed in ripped jeans and a long black sweater.
Huh. That’s not her usual glamorous chic style. I wonder what happened.
“So, where are we going?” I ask as she slides into the passenger seat.
“It’s a new place, near the campus. You’ll love it.”
“And the guys will be there?”
She rolls her eyes, the crystal blue made more impressive with the thick application of black mascara and eyeliner. “Ash will be there. Don’t worry.”
“I worry either way,” I mutter as I pull into the street. “That he won’t be there, or that he will be there and refuse to talk to me.”
“Why would he? I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“He hates me, and he hates his brother. I bet he can’t wait to talk to me about his brother.” I huff as I focus on the road ahead. “How stupid of me to think otherwise.”
Tessa gives me a light shove and grins. “Stop being so negative. Besides, maybe all you have to do is apologize. It’s this brand new ice-breaking technique people are using.”
I grin back at her and shake my head. God, I must be out of my mind, going out with Asher and Audrey. I wonder if Tess is right, if an apology will make a difference.
But I owe it to Asher anyway. Might as well get it over with.
I glance at Tess. I’ve been seeing less of her lately, because she and Audrey have been spending some more time together, catching up.
“So what’s up with the casual look?” I ask.
She fiddles with the hem of her sweater. “Do you think…?” She swallows and looks away. “Like, when a guy might like you but is put off by your style…”
“Are we talking about Dylan?”
She flinches. “No, it was a general question, okay?”
Sure. “So you’re going to change your style? In case he’s keeping back because he’d rather see you in second-hand cut-offs instead of what you usually wear? Like, that’s deep, huh? A profound affection, going as deep as the layer of your clothes. Yeah, that’s the kind of guy I’d go for, of course.”
“Stop it, you…” Tessa snickers. “That’s awful. You just made me sound horribly shallow, you know that? Dylan, too.”
I lift a brow. “Isn’t that what you were asking?”
“No! What I meant was… What if a guy is put off by my life style? All the money, you know? Wouldn’t they feel uncomfortable if they didn’t have as much?”
Okay, this is a more serious and complicated question. Because to say love conquers all and doesn’t care for social class distinctions and financial matters is a lie. We all talk of the kinds of strongest love that rises above everything, but sometimes… Sometimes the beginning can be rocky, and I don’t think Tessa is wrong to wonder. Everything about her screams money—from her fancy car to her fancy clothes and gadgets. Hell, her watch must cost more than my car.
“I see,” I eventually say as I enter the parking lot of the bar. “So you decided to pretend you’re poor?”
She winces. “No, just cool.”
I park and nudge her with my elbow. “You’re always cool, girl.”
I finally get a real smile out of her, before she opens her door and jumps out. “Come on, let’s go meet the guys!”
“We’re early,” I remind her.
“Then we’ll start drinking without them. You need some liquid courage.”
Can’t argue with that. I really think I do, but I don’t have a fake ID like her, so I just shrug.
What am I going to say to Asher? Hey, sorry I never tried to see what was happening to you. Sorry my behavior made you go out in the cold and almost die. Sorry I hated you because your brother left, and I thought you were hiding his location from me. Because you reminded me of him.
Jesus. Guilt gnaws at my stomach as we enter the bar. Yeah, some liquid courage is definitely in order.
We make our way to a table at the back. Few customers people the room—the crowd will surely thicken later.