Cole takes one look at me, and his demeanor shifts from friendly dimples to hard-lined tension.
“What happened?” He cups my face, probing my gaze with alarm in his eyes.
“Trace knows we slept together.”
His forehead wrinkles, and a huff of air escapes his lips. “Is he being a little bitch about it?”
“Don’t.” I shove out of his hold and slip past him with anger burning my cheeks.
He charges after me and catches my elbow in the hall, whirling me around. “What did he do?”
The past twelve hours knot and twist in my gut. Trace seemed angrier about me keeping a secret from him than anything else. I won’t make that mistake again.
“What would you do?” I whisper, staring at the hand on my arm.
“What would I do…” Cole tightens his fingers around my bones. “If you fucked him?”
I close my eyes, nodding stiffly as fear trickles in. I can’t bear the thought of one of them despising me, let alone both of them.
Lifting my chin, I give him my tearful gaze. “We had sex last night.”
He yanks his touch away and shoves his hands in his hair, his voice guttural. “Why?”
“Why?” I stare at him, wide-eyed and blinking rapidly. “I love him, Cole.”
With a great shuddering heave, he rubs his face, his neck, and turns to pace in the small square hall.
“You act surprised by this.” I step into my bedroom and slump onto the bed. “I was going to marry him before you—”
“Do you love him more?” He stands in the doorway, gripping the frame.
“If I knew that answer, we’d be having a different conversation.”
I’d be saying goodbye.
He hangs his head, his chest rising and falling. “Look, I know this is more than you can handle.”
“More than I can handle? Don’t say it like that, like I’m a naive little girl playing in a big man’s world.” I grind my teeth. “Let’s not forget that I waited for you. I waited two lonely, miserable, goddamn years after you died before I even looked at another man. Meanwhile, you’re off fighting wars that don’t exist with the expectation that I’ll run into your arms—celibate and alone—when you miraculously return from the dead.”
“Danni—”
“I didn’t fall in love with Trace out of spite or betrayal or selfishness. I lost you, Cole. I was grieving and miserable with my eyes locked on the rearview mirror. I needed to look forward, move forward, and Trace helped me do that. Then you came back and upended all the progress I made.” I draw in a ragged breath. “You say this is more than I can handle, and I say I’m holding it together pretty fucking well.”
“You’re right.” He pushes off the doorframe and prowls toward me. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. It’s one of the million reasons why you’re the only one I want, now and always.”
He kneels in front of me and runs his hands up my knee-high boots, slipping beneath my denim skirt to caress my thighs.
“Cole.” I grip his forearms, the rigid muscles straining beneath my fingers.
He inches closer, wedging himself between my legs, his hands creeping higher as he takes my mouth in a tender kiss.
I melt against him, needing his affection, his determination, his seduction… No, wait.
“Cole, you can’t—” I scramble back, scooting across the bed and climbing off the other side. “You can’t just force yourself into my space and seduce me and…and fuck me and expect everything to be alright.”
His eyes sharpen, and he surges to his feet. “Isn’t that what Trace did? Last night? You told him about us, and he fucked you until I was eviscerated from your body and mind.”
“No, that’s not—”
“I bet you didn’t think of me once while he was driving into your cunt.”
His words cut, knocking the air from my lungs and welling tears in my eyes. But the torment in his voice breaks my heart. His entire body shakes with rejection and anger. And maybe even fear.
“This is why I didn’t want sex involved in this.” I step to the window and watch the shavings of rain pass over the neighborhood. “It turns a messy situation into a jealous war of pushing and fighting—”
“Maybe you should’ve only fucked one of us.”
“You, you mean?” I spin around. “If I only had sex with you, all of this would go away?”
“Yes.” He clenches his hands at his sides.
“Are you even listening to yourself? Because you sure as hell aren’t listening to me. I love both of you. That means everything I give you, I give to him.” I gentle my voice. “When I returned your engagement ring, do you remember what you said?”