As my words sink in, silence creeps through the living room, heavy with apprehension and maybe a little bit of relief. I’m doing this to give myself time, but it gives them time, too.
“For how long?” Cole lifts his head and meets my eyes. “How long will you date us?”
“Until I know.”
My chest feels like a lead balloon as I stand on the front porch, watching Trace put the last of his belongings in the trunk of the sedan.
I keep telling myself this isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of a new chapter. But if that’s true, why does it hurt so much?
Cole made himself scarce while Trace and his driver cleared his clothes out of my closet. I think it’s the first time any of Trace’s employees have been inside my house. It’s weird. Hell, this entire situation is dicked in the head. We love each other, and I’m kicking him out of my house, like we’re going backward.
Not backward. We’re starting over.
I clutch my throat, swallowing around a painful lump.
Trace shuts the trunk and opens the rear passenger door. I told him he had to leave, that he needed to go work and I would see him when I return to the restaurant tomorrow.
Today’s my day off, and I want to visit the homeless shelter. I haven’t been there since Cole came back.
Across the front yard, Trace lingers beside the open door of the sedan. The dark suit makes his blond hair look paler than normal, and his eyes are so light they shimmer in the sunlight.
I can’t see the emotion there, but I don’t have to. Every inch of his rigid posture vibrates with devastation. It’s killing him to leave me. To leave me here with Cole.
But I made these rules. Now I have to own them.
He flattens a hand over his necktie, as if to keep it from lifting in the chilly breeze. Then he turns and lowers into the backseat, making that hand on his chest look more like he’s holding a breaking heart.
My own heart gives a painful thump, and it pounds harder as he closes the door and disappears behind tinted glass.
He didn’t say goodbye, and now the car is rolling into motion, carrying him away from me.
Even though I made this happen, I can’t handle it. The sight of him leaving without giving me something to cling to—a whisper of hope, a tender touch—rises panic through me.
What if he’s in a car accident? What if he dies and I never see him again?
I fly off the porch, my bare feet racing through the cold grass and onto the quiet street. But I’m too late. He’s already a block away.
I keep running, chasing, aching for the confident strength of his arms around me.
The brake lights illuminate, and the sedan slows to a stop. My breath rushes out, my legs burning with exertion as I close the distance.
Then the sedan reverses, shrinking the gap, until the rear door opens. Trace’s long leg slides out before the car stops moving. But I’m already there, tumbling into the backseat and onto his lap.
“Danni.” His timbre is breathy and deep, fanning across my face.
I shut the door and straddle his thighs, panting, with my arms enfolding his neck and my forehead resting against his.
He combs his fingers through my hair, runs his hands up and down my back, and lifts them to frame my face.
I get a glimpse of sad blue eyes a millisecond before his mouth covers mine. My pulse skitters at the warm, soft, delicious feel of his lips.
This is what I needed, and my insides purr with contentment.
His fingers drift into my hair and tighten as his tongue traces the seam of my mouth. I open for him, inviting him with hungry licks and whimpers.
He takes over, angling my head and plunging deeper, faster, his urgency apparent in the clench of his hands and the flexing muscle beneath his suit.
And just like that, I’m wildly aroused, like he injected lighter fluid in my veins. One touch below my neck and I’ll catch fire. It’s all I can do to keep from wriggling on his thickening cock.
He delves inside my mouth, sweeping with expert strokes, controlling the pace and depth, and demanding I meet the frantic rub of his tongue. A groan reverberates from his lips, and I devour it, unable to catch my breath or control the beat of my heart.
My chest swells with peace and happiness, but it’s also filled with fear. I don’t know what will become of us. I only know that what we have doesn’t come around very often, and by some miracle, I managed to capture this rare, wonderful thing with two men. I can’t let go.
“I didn’t mean to get you worked up.” I trail a path of kisses over his smooth cheek. “I just wanted…I needed to make sure you know I love you.”
“I know, Danni.” He nibbles on my ear lobe. “But I never tire of hearing it.” His embrace constricts, pressing me impossibly tighter against his chest. “All I can think about is you kissing him like that.”