Earlier that morning, while Vivian was ferrying London around-she'd driven the SUV from Atlanta-I made a trip to the pet store and set up the aquarium in her room; I chose several colorful fish, and stuck a bow on the glass. When Vivian and London returned from art class, I had London close her eyes as I led her to the threshold of her room. She squealed when she opened them and catapulted across the room toward the aquarium.
"Can I feed them?"
"Of course," I said. "I'm sure they're hungry. Let me show you how much food to give them, okay?"
I tapped some food into the lid of the plastic container and handed it to her. She poured it into the fish tank, mesmerized as the fish raced to the surface and started devouring the food. When I glanced over my shoulder at Vivian, I saw that she had her arms crossed, her mouth a tight crease.
At the party, however, Vivian was all smiles with everyone, including me and my entire family. She asked my mom to pitch in when she cut the cake, and when London opened a box filled with Barbie accessories from Marge and Liz, she urged London to go over and give them a hug, which London did.
Marge leaned in afterward, muttering under her breath. "She's acting as though nothing has changed between the two of you at all," which upon reflection made me even more nervous than Vivian's earlier, chilly demeanor.
After the party, Vivian took London to the mall; with Halloween coming up, she took it upon herself to help London choose a costume. I used that time to clean up the house, filling garbage bags with paper plates and cups, and wrapping a tray of leftovers to put in the fridge. With that completed, I decided it might be best to make myself scarce for the rest of the evening, and left for my office.
I worked into the evening, focusing on the presentations for the law firms that had contacted me. As London's bedtime approached, I texted Vivian, asking if it was time to read to London, only to receive a terse response a while later that London was already asleep.
I stayed late at the office that night, but rose early on Sunday to go for a run and shower. I was having breakfast and coffee when I heard Vivian moving around in the guest room upstairs. Though I lingered in the kitchen, wondering if she might want to talk about how well the party had gone, she never made an appearance.
I returned to the office to finish the presentations-they were all fairly similar-aware that the truce between Vivian and me had ended, but unclear as to the reason. Was she was jealous that London had loved the aquarium-something I'd selected without Vivian's input? But then Vivian had been cool toward me for nearly a week, I reasoned.
I texted Vivian as soon as I got to the office, asking what time she planned to leave. She didn't respond until nearly five, informing me that she'd be leaving in half an hour and forcing me to scramble to get home in time.
When I arrived, London came running and jumped in my arms.
"I fed my fish, Daddy! And they were so hungry! And I let Mr. and Mrs. Sprinkles see them, too. I held them right next to the glass."
"Have you given them names yet?"
She nodded. "They're all so pretty, so I knew what their names should be. Let me show you."
She pulled me up the steps to her room and pointed out the various fish, reciting their names: Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel, Belle, Mulan, and Dory "because that's who they remind me of."
Downstairs, Vivian was already waiting by the door. She hugged and kissed London goodbye. Then she half turned in my direction, uttered a perfunctory "Bye," without making eye contact, and walked out the door.
I should have simply let her go. Instead, after a beat, I followed her out. By then, she was already opening the door to the SUV.
"Vivian? Hold up."
She turned, her expression stony as I approached.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Russ," she answered, sounding anything but.
"You seem angry."
"Are you seriously asking me this?" Vivian whipped off her sunglasses. "Of course I'm angry. And disappointed."
"Why? What did I do?"
"Do you really want to get into this now?" She glared at me over the open car door.
"I just want to know what's going on … "
She closed her eyes, as though steeling herself, and when they opened again, I could see rage flaring behind them.
"Why are you dragging London along when you go out with your girlfriend?"
Her question caught me so off guard it took me a second to comprehend what she was talking about. "You mean Emily?"
"Of course I mean Emily!"
"She's not my girlfriend," I sputtered. "London and Bodhi are friends."
"So the two of you take them to the zoo? And the aquarium? Like some kind of double date?" she spat out. "Do you know how confusing that is for her? Why would you do such a thing?"
"I'm not trying to confuse her … "
"Do you know what London did yesterday? When we went to art class? She ran up and hugged Emily. In front of everyone!"
"London hugs everyone … "
"SHE HUGGED HER!" Vivian shouted. Her cheeks flushed. "I thought you were smarter than that! I thought you were better than that! You don't see me insisting that London hang out with Walter and me, do you? I haven't even told London about Walter. She doesn't even know he exists! I haven't even told her that we're getting divorced!"
"Vivian-"
"Don't!" she snapped. "I don't want to hear you try to justify why the four of you have been gallivanting around town like you're a family now. You sure didn't wait long, did you?"
"Emily's just a friend," I protested.
"Are you honestly going to stand here and try to convince me that you see Emily just because London and Bodhi are friends?" she said, sneering. "Tell me this: Are you hanging out with the parents of London's other friends, too?"
"No, but-"
"And you don't think about her? You don't call her? You're not turning to her for support?"
I couldn't deny it and my expression must have given me away.
"I've been trying my best to keep London out of this," she went on. "While you … You don't seem to have given any thought as to what might be best for London. Or what she might be thinking or feeling. You're just thinking about yourself and what you want-same old story. You haven't changed at all, have you, Russ?"
With that, Vivian got into the SUV and slammed the door. She backed out and roared away while I stood there, frozen and reeling inside.
I couldn't sleep that night.
Was Vivian right? Had I only been thinking about myself? I replayed all the times I'd seen Emily; I retraced the steps that had led us to the zoo and the aquarium. And I asked myself, if London had a different best friend, would I have visited those places with that friend's parents?
In my heart, I knew the answer was no, which made me wonder how much I'd been lying to myself.
I felt the repercussions of Vivian's anger a few days later, while sitting in Taglieri's office. He'd called me because he had an update on the divorce negotiations.
"I was finally able to spend time on the phone with Vivian's attorney," he said, "going through the proposed agreement section by section." He sighed. "I don't know what's going on between you and Vivian, but I was anticipating a little give-and-take, as is the norm in these kinds of negotiations. What I didn't expect was for her to escalate her demands."
"She wants more?" I felt a numbness spreading through me at his words.
"Yup."
"Of what?"
"Everything. More alimony. More money when it comes to dividing joint property."
"How much exactly?'
When he told me I blanched. "What if I don't have it?"
"Well, for starters … I'd put the house up for sale."
While I'd been dreading Vivian's next move, I felt as if I'd been sucker-punched.
"She also said to tell you that Vivian will be here for Halloween weekend, and that she would prefer if you didn't stay in the house this time."
"Why didn't Vivian just tell me that herself?"
"Because Vivian has decided that henceforth, she wants all communications to go through the attorneys. She doesn't want to speak with you directly."
"Anything else?" I said, in a daze.
"She also wants to bring London to Atlanta the weekend of November thirteenth."
"And if I say no?"
"She'll probably go straight to the court. And Russ … " Taglieri eyed me seriously. "This isn't something worth fighting about, because you won't win. Unless she's an unfit mother, she has the right to see her daughter."
"I wouldn't have fought it. I'm just … blown away."
"Do you want to talk about what it is that set her off?"
"Not really," I said. What was the point? "What's she saying about London?"