Two by Two(76)

"Right now her head hurts and she's exhausted. And on Friday, she'll just be bored if she sits and watches."

"Then she can look forward to the Christmas show."

"Where she'll be a tree again? Or maybe an ornament?"

Ms. Hamshaw straightened, her nostrils flaring. "There are other dancers in her class who demonstrate much greater commitment."

"This is ridiculous," I blurted out.

"That's what people generally say when they don't like the rules."





I brought London home and we ate the leftover Chinese food. Vivian  called, and by the time the FaceTime session had ended, London could  barely keep her eyes open.

I made the executive decision to skip her bath and got her into her  pajamas. I read a short book to her in bed and she was asleep moments  after I turned out the light. Descending the stairs, I told myself that I  should use the rest of the evening to get some work done, but I simply  wasn't in the mood.

Instead, I called Emily.

"Hey there," she said as soon as she answered. "How are things?"

"Not too bad, I guess."

"How's London? Bodhi said she got to be the teacher's helper, so she must be recuperating nicely."

"Yeah, she was pretty excited about that," I said. "And she's fine,  really-just a little tired. What did you end up doing today?'

"Worked on one of the paintings for my show. I think I'm getting closer,  but I'm just guessing. I could probably work on this one forever and  never think it's done."

"I want to see it."

"Anytime," she said. "Thankfully, the other paintings I've started are  going well. So far, anyway." She smiled. "How are you holding up? I  can't imagine how scared you must have been. I'd probably still be  traumatized."         

     



 

"It was pretty bad," I admitted. "And tonight wasn't so relaxing."

"What happened?"

I replayed my conversation with Ms. Hamshaw.

"So she can't do the recital?" Emily asked when I finished.

"I don't think she was all that excited about it anyway," I said. "I  just wish Vivian weren't so hell-bent on having her go there. I don't  think London enjoys it at all."

"Then let her quit."

"I don't want another reason to argue with Vivian. And I don't want London in the middle of it."

"Did you ever think that by continually appeasing Vivian, you're just adding fuel to the fire?"

"How do you mean?"

"If you give in every time Vivian gets angry, then she knows that all  she has to do is be angry to get what she wants. I mean, so what if she  gets angry? What's she going to do?"

She didn't add the question, Divorce you? but the obvious truth of her  observation startled me. Was that the reason things had started going  downhill in the first place? Because I'd never stood up to Vivian?  Because I wanted to avoid conflict? What had Marge once said to me?

Your real problem is that you're too damn nice for your own good.

At my silence, Emily went on.

"I don't know if what I said has any bearing. I could be wrong. And I'm  not saying this because I want the two of you to argue. I'm just saying  that you're London's father, and you have just as much right as Vivian  when it comes to making decisions as to what is best for London. Lately,  you have even more rights than she does, since you're the one who's  taking care of her. You're the primary parent these days, not her, but  you still seem to trust Vivian's judgment more than your own. To me,  London seems like a very happy little girl, so it's clear you've been  doing something right."

"So …  what do you think I should do?" I asked, trying to digest what she'd said.

"Why don't you talk to London and ask her what she wants to do? And then just trust your instincts."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Other people's problems are always easier to solve. Haven't you learned  that yet?" She laughed, a sound at once reassuring and refreshing.

"I have to say, sometimes you remind me a lot of Marge."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"It is."





Emily and I chatted for another hour, and as always, after speaking with  her, I felt better. More grounded. More like myself again, and it was  enough to spur me to spend an hour on the computer, getting a jump on  the next day's work.

In the morning, while London was eating her cereal, I explained what Ms. Hamshaw had said.

"You mean I can't be in the recital?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie …  Are you mad you can't dance in the show?"

London's reaction was immediate. "It's okay," she said with a shrug. "I didn't want to be a tree anyway."

"If it makes you feel better, I thought you were a very good tree."

She looked at me as though I had cornstalks growing out of my ears.  "It's a tree, Daddy. The butterfly gets to move around. Trees don't."

"Hmmm," I said, nodding. "Good point."

"Do I have to go to dance on Friday?"

"Do you want to go?"

When she shrugged instead of answering, it wasn't hard to read between the lines.

"If you don't want to go, then I don't think you should go. You should only go to dance because you like it and you want to go."

For a moment London studied the floating marshmallows in her bowl of  Lucky Charms, and I wondered if she had heard me. Then: "I don't think I  want to go anymore. Ms. Hamshaw doesn't like me very much."

"Fine," I said. "You no longer have to go to dance."

London hesitated, and when she looked up at me I thought I detected a  trace of anxiety in her expression. "What's Mom going to say?"

She'll probably get angry, I thought.

"She'll understand," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.





After dropping London off at school, I went to the studio, where I met the animal trainer and Gus, a bullmastiff.

The commercial would emphasize tenacity and the plan was to have Gus  tugging relentlessly on a dog toy. Intercut with the images of the dog  would be four screen shots with the following captions:

When you've been injured on the job,

You need a determined and relentless attorney         

     



 

Call the offices of Joey Taglieri

He won't stop until you get the money you deserve.


Gus the bullmastiff ended up being quite a talented actor, and filming wrapped well before noon.





London wasn't quite as chipper when I picked her up from school as she'd  been the day before. Limiting activity and TV required a bit of  creativity, and I decided to bring her to the pet store. I needed  shavings for the hamsters anyway, but I thought she might enjoy looking  at the fish.

There were more than fifty different aquariums; each aquarium had  placards that listed the specific types of fish. London and I spent more  than an hour moving from tank to tank and naming the various kinds of  fish.

It wasn't quite SeaWorld, I'll admit, but it wasn't a bad way to spend a quiet afternoon.

On the way out, she spent some time playing with a few cocker spaniel  puppies that were tumbling around in a low pen. They were very cute, and  I breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't ask for one.

"That was fun, Daddy," she said as we headed to the car. I had the bag of shavings and hamster food tucked beneath my arm.

"I thought you might like that."

"We should get some fish. Some of them were really pretty."

"Aquariums are even harder to clean than hamster cages."

"I'm sure you could figure it out, Daddy."

"Maybe. But I don't know where we would put the aquarium."

"We could put it on the kitchen table!"

"That's an idea. But where would we eat?"

"We could eat on the couch."

I couldn't suppress a smile. I loved talking to my daughter. I truly did.





On the way home, I swung by the grocery store. Using one of the recipes  that Liz had given me, I picked up the ingredients for chicken  quesadillas.

I let London pretty much fix dinner on her own. I walked her through  each step-and I sliced the chicken after she'd sautéed it-but aside from  those things, London did everything herself. She cooked the chicken,  added the slices to tortillas, added the grated cheese, and folded the  tortillas before putting each one into a pan so it could toast on both  sides.

When the meal was ready, she directed me to the table, and I brought over two plates of food, utensils, and two glasses of milk.

"This looks delicious and it smells great," I commented.

"I want to take a picture for Auntie Liz and Auntie Marge. Before you start."

"Okay," I said. I handed my phone to her and she snapped pictures of both plates, then texted them to both.

"Where did you learn how to text?" I asked, amazed.

"Mommy showed me. Bodhi, too. He showed me on Miss Emily's phone. I think I'm old enough for a phone."

"You might be, but I'd rather talk to you in person."

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she thought it was funny. "You can eat now if you want," she said.