Two by Two(68)

     



 

"Whatever happened to Liam?" I asked Emily. "I haven't heard from him in  ten years. Last I heard, he was practicing law in Asheville and he was  already on his second marriage."

"He's still practicing law," she said, "but his second marriage didn't last either."

"She was a cocktail waitress, too, right? When they met?"

"He has a type," she said, with a smile. "No question about it."

"When was the last time you heard from him?"

"Maybe seven or eight months ago? He heard I was getting divorced and he asked me out."

"He wasn't one of the nice guys you never called a second time?"

"Liam? Oh, God no. We'd known each other growing up, but you know-he's  always been a little too into himself for my taste. And in college, we  hung out more out of habit than actual friendship. And by habit, I mean  he came on to me at least once a semester, usually when he was  drinking."

"I always wondered why you tolerated him," I mused.

"Because my parents were friends with his parents and lived across the  street from each other. My dad thought he had his act together, but my  mom saw right through him all along, thank God. The point is, it had  more to do with the fact that he was always there. On campus, at home.  Back then, I hadn't developed the ability to just cut people off. Even  if they were jerks."

"If it wasn't for him, though, we'd never have met."

She smiled wistfully. "Do you remember when you asked me to dance? At the wedding?"

"I do," I said. It had taken more than an hour for me to work up the  courage, even though Liam had by then zeroed in on a woman who would  later become wife number one.

"You were afraid of me," she said with a knowing grin.

I was acutely aware of how close she was; up ahead, London and Bodhi  were walking beside each other as well, and I flashed on the book I read  nightly to London. The four of us walking two by two, because no one  should have to walk alone.

"I wasn't afraid," I clarified. "I was embarrassed because you'd caught me ogling when you helped me with my bowtie."

"Oh stop …  I was flattered and you know it. We've been over this  before-I'd asked Liam about you, remember? He said that you were too  nerdy for me. And not handsome enough. And not rich enough. Then he hit  on me again."

I laughed. "It's coming back to me."

"Do you stay in touch with friends from college?" She squinted as if  trying to recall faces. "We used to see your buddies pretty regularly  when we were together."

"Not really," I said. "Once I got married and London came along, I sort of lost track of most of them. You?"

"I have a few friends from college and a handful that I knew growing up.  We still talk and get together but probably not as much as we should.  Like it did with you, life just got busy."

I noticed the lightest spray of freckles across her cheeks and nose, so  faint as to be invisible in anything but perfectly angled, autumn  sunlight. I didn't recall her having those fifteen years ago; they were  another surprising feature of this once-familiar Emily. For a moment I  wondered what Vivian would think if she saw Emily and me together right  now.

Suddenly the whole situation struck me as surreal-me with Emily at the  zoo with the kids, Vivian in Spannerman's arms somewhere else. How had  things come to this? And where had my life taken this unforeseen U-turn?

Emily's hand on my arm startled me out of my reverie.

"You okay?" She studied me. "You went away there for a second."

"Yeah, sorry." I tried for a smile. "Sometimes it just hits me at random moments …  how odd and inexplicable it all is, I mean."

She was silent for a moment, letting her hand fall away. "It's going to  be that way for a while," she said, her tone soft. "But if you can, try  to let whatever comes, come, and whatever stays, stay. And whatever  goes, just let it go."

"That's beyond me right now."

"‘Right now' being the operative words. You'll get there."

A dull ache of missing Vivian stirred within me then, but it didn't  linger. It was a rabbit punch, without the strength of an uppercut, and I  understood that it was due to Emily. Given the choice, I realized that  it was better to spend the day with a fun and compassionate friend than a  wife who seemed to despise me.

"It's been a long time since I did something like this," Emily  reflected. When I looked at her inquiringly, she continued. "Hang out  with a friend of the opposite sex, I mean …  it was before David, that's  all I know. It might have even been before you and I were together. Why  is that?"         

     



 

"Because we were married."

"But I know other married people who have friends of the opposite sex."

"I'm not saying that it can't happen," I conceded. "It's just that it  can get tricky and I think most people know that. Human nature being  what it is, and given how hard marriage is, the last thing any spouse  needs is an attractive alternative. It can make the other party look  bad."

She made a wry face. "Is that what I'm doing?" she asked. "No-don't  answer. That was inappropriate." She smoothed some stray hairs into her  ponytail. "It's not my intent to make anything worse between you and  Vivian."

"I know that," I said. "Then again, I'm not sure you could make it any  worse. For all I know, she's off in Paris with the guy right now."

"You don't know?"

"The only time we spoke this week was when she told me she wanted to see  London two of the next three weekends, including her birthday weekend,  then yelled at me for allowing London to miss dance class. She also said  it would be ‘hard to reach' her, whatever that means. And that I should  sleep at Marge's or my parents when she's in town, because she wants  the house. Oh, and that she's sick of my crap."

Emily winced.

"It wasn't my favorite phone call," I admitted.

"But you know she shouldn't get to see London every single weekend. Nor should you have to leave the house."

"She says she wants to make it easier for London."

"It sounds to me like she just wants what she wants."

"That, too," I said. "But at the same time, I can see her point. It  would be disruptive for London to have to stay in a hotel when her mom's  in town."

"Her life has already been disrupted," Emily pointed out. "Why can't she just sleep in the guest room?"

"She thinks that might confuse London."

"So suggest that she go to bed after London is asleep and then set an  alarm so she's awake before London. When you're together, just be  cordial to one another. I know it's hard when emotions are high, but  it's not impossible. And it's better than you getting kicked out of your  own house every time she comes to visit. That's just wrong and you  don't deserve to be treated that way."

"You're right," I acknowledged, but I was already dreading the argument  that would inevitably ensue. More than anyone, Vivian knew how to hurt  me when she didn't get her way.

"When we met in the coffee shop that first time, I told you that I'd seen you dropping off London, remember?"

"I remember."

"What I didn't say is that I watched you for a while. I saw the way you  are with her, the way she hugged you and told you she loved you. It's  obvious to everyone that you are the apple of that girl's eye."

Inexplicably, I felt myself blush with pleasure. "Well, I'm pretty much the only parent she has right now … "

"It's more than that, Russ," she interrupted. "For little girls, their  first love should always be their dad, but that isn't always the case.  When I saw you two saying goodbye that day, I was struck by how loving  and close you seemed. Then I recognized you, and I just knew I had to  say hello. So I followed you."

"Come on … "

"Scout's honor," Emily said, making the Boy Scout sign. "You know me. I live by my instincts. Artist. Remember?"

I laughed. "Yeah," I said, meeting her determined gaze and feeling  flattered, although for what reason I wasn't sure. "I'm glad you did. I  don't know what kind of shape I'd be in right now if you hadn't. You've  been a big help to me."

"Yep, that's what I do," she said with a playful "aw shucks" grin.

"You know what's strange?"

"What's that?"

"I don't have any memories of what you were like when you were angry. I  can't even recall any serious fights between us. So tell me: Do you get  angry?"

"Of course! And I can be scary," she warned.

"I don't believe you."

"Then don't ever test it. I'm like a grizzly bear and jackal and great  white shark all rolled into one." She gestured at our surroundings. "I  thought animal metaphors would be appropriate. Since we're here at the  zoo, I mean."