"Do you trust me, esclave?"
"Forever."
I let him push me under, holding my breath while his worshipping fingers washed the suds from my hair. I was aware of every touch, every inch of him. I was nothing but a ball of oversensitive nerve endings.
Once the bubbles were gone, Q hoisted me up his body, dragging me along his very hot, very hard erection.
I want him. Completely. No holding back.
The thought whizzed around my body, spreading eagerness and courage. I wanted Q to take me like he'd always wanted. I was no longer afraid. He wouldn't go too far because I understood what lurked beneath all his darkness.
Ownership. He wanted to brand me, mark me-all in the name of claiming. But he already owned me completely-he no longer needed to compete for that right.
Shifting, I reached behind and wrapped my fingers around him. He jerked in my touch, blood throbbing beneath the velvety skin. He felt hotter than usual as if he'd bruised himself, aching with injury.
Q sucked in a breath, pressing my hips to collide harder with him. He drove up against my back, rubbing himself in my fist. "Fuck … " His teeth sank into my shoulder.
Pain.
My heart raced at the sharpness but there was nothing else.
No fear.
No guilt.
No other thoughts than pleasure.
The past was dealt with. Finished. The lost parts of me were fixed and out of the wrapping new. The allure of painful excitement existed once again in my heart, and I wanted nothing more than for Q to deliver.
There was no guilt to wade through. No tears at the memory of Blonde Angel or Hummingbird. My grief for them was as it should be: respectful, mournful, but not life-consuming terrible.
I wanted the taboo.
I craved the forbidden.
I panted for the prohibited.
Q thrust up, dragging me from my thoughts. The purple haze was back along with the consuming need to connect.
I wanted him. No walls or cages or second thoughts. Him. All of him.
"I'm ready," I whispered. "Don't hold back."
Q shook his head, grinding his cock into my tight fingers. "Don't say things like that. Things you don't mean."
I wished he could see into my heart-hear the truth resonating off its walls. "I do mean it. I'm ready and willing and oh so terribly wanting."
He froze. Sucking in a breath, he didn't say a word, as if he couldn't understand what I offered.
Q had healed me. It was time for me to heal him.
Convince him.
While Q stayed immobile and silent, I murmured, "I want your belts and whips. I want your nails and teeth." Twisting in his arms, I lay on top of him, belly to belly, chest to chest. I locked eyes with his.
He seemed lost, bewildered, completely bewitched. "I mean it, Q. Everything. All of it."
His face slowly evolved from unreadable to suspicious to hopeful. His eyes tightened, shadowed with apprehension. "Are you sure?" he croaked. Clearing his throat, he added, "I never want to hurt you again. I told you that. Why would you ask for it when I already said you don't have to give me something you don't want to give."
"Because that's not true."
He glared. "What's not true?"
"That I don't want to give it to you. I do. I need to say thank you-I need-" Bowing my head, I kissed him softly.
He never closed his eyes as if searching for a lie, disbelieving I could want everything he'd always hidden. "Will you take me?"
His Adams apple bobbed, swallowing hard. The scepticism swiftly changed to restlessness. His hips spasmed against mine, searching, seeking. "This is your last chance." His fingers gripped my ass, pressing me hard against him. "Last chance to back out."
"I don't need it."
Q's eyes fired with need. "Tess?"
My body melted under his stare. It was all I could do to keep eye contact and not kiss him senseless. "Yes?"
"You let me do this, and I'll take you so far into my world, you'll be lost forever-mine for eternity."
I smiled. The cloudy haze in my brain sent exquisite ripples through my muscles. I had no doubt I would be lost, but I would also be found. I would leave my world permanently. I would be initiated into Q's completely.
Q suddenly tensed; his lips thinned. "J'ai une demande."I have one request.
"Name it."
He kissed me hard, melting my muscles, shattering my mind with purple stars. When he pulled back, his voice was flat and slightly cold. "You ask me to be myself. And I want to. How I fucking want to. But, Tess … I need you to promise. I'm not so fucking heartless to hurt you, make you cry and scream-because believe me I will-without a way out if you need it."