Before Tess came into my life Suzette was the only female I let get close. We'd never been more than saver and slave, then employee and employer, but our connection had grown to friendship. She pushed me even when it was dangerous to do so. She saw the real me-the one I never acknowledged-and encouraged me regardless.
When Tess arrived it was Suzette who gave me permission to be a bastard. What were her words? Be like them for a while, because even on your worst days, you don't rival what they did to me.
I'd never asked her what she'd lived through; I didn't need to. She told me in her own way-in the panic attacks and sudden terror of my temper. But beneath the small fractures, she was strong.
"I need you to arrange a wedding."
Suzette giggled. "I thought you eloped so you didn't have to do any of that?"
I imagined her rolling her eyes as if I was some stupid child who'd forgotten his lunch for the day. She'd taken the role of caring for me a bit too well.
"That was the original plan. Oui."
Another laugh. "But now you've changed your mind and want an over-the-top, completely impractical wedding?" A pause. "Did Tess refuse your crazy idea of marrying in the middle of nowhere?"
I snorted. "No. She didn't refuse." Even after everything I'd done today she still wanted me. The knowledge would never fail to rip the breath right from my lungs.
"It's hardly a dream location for a girl. She deserves more than a pelican for a witness."
"Suzette," I growled. "Instead of undermining me, how about you agree to fucking help."
My mind raced, forming the crazy idea faster and faster. Tess would have every reason to kill me. She would probably try.
I ran a hand down my face, shaking my head. God-this was fucking dangerous.
"So-why do you need my help?" Suzette prompted.
My mind switched from what I was about to do to the wedding. I didn't want big-hell, I didn't want anything more than someone joining Tess's life to mine-but Tess had said she wanted Suzette there.
She wanted Brax, too.
No fucking way was that little cunt going to be at my wedding. There was only so much I would tolerate.
I paced over the tiles, gripping my chin in thought. The original plan was still my favourite-but I wanted to give Tess the world. And I would.
"You're going to arrange our wedding."
"What?" Something banged in the background; Suzette yelped.
My heart exploded. Intruders. Fucking traffickers.
"Suzette!"
Suzette made a sucking noise. "Sorry. It's dark. I ran into the door. Bashed my fingers."
"Goddammit … " I breathed out heavily. Franco left a decent team of security in Blois but who knew what the underworld morons would do to get to me. I didn't want any more blood from people I cared about.
My patience was wearing thin. I wanted them to make a move now, so I didn't have to sit in the shadows and wait.
Pushing the urge for a fight out of my head, I demanded, "Pay attention. Did you hear me? You're in charge of the wedding."
A postponement really pissed me off. I still suffered the overwhelming need to make Tess mine in every way possible-to both man and beast-but this new plan … this plan that could royally fucking backfire in my face … it might be everything we needed.
To pull it off I had to embrace a little of what I always ran from. To make it work I had to make Tess believe.
"Yes, I heard you. You're coming home while I arrange it, right? I need time."
"No, we're not coming home. I expect you do it quickly." How long did it take to arrange a simple ceremony?
"I can't do it quickly. If you want to give Tess the dream, I need at least a month."
"No, fucking way. You have five days, Suzette." My heart galloped, fixated on the idea growing rapidly out of control. Every second sent me hurtling into the unknown. "You have five days to arrange a suitable wedding. Invite who you think should be there. You're in charge."
A surprised squeak hurt my ear. "Five days? No, there's no way-"
"No arguing. Do it."
I made eye contact with myself in the mirror. Do you seriously think you can pull this off?
That was the kicker. I didn't know. If I was honest I was fucking terrified. But I had no choice. Tess couldn't go on like this. I couldn't go on like this.
The only way forward was to go back.
Back to restart time.
Suzette grumbled, "Why do I get the feeling you're up to something again."
Because I am. Something that could mentally screw us up completely.
Suzette sucked in a breath. "Please tell me you're not doing something crazy. Like releasing all your birds or letting Tess butcher you?"
My jaw locked. "You're not to mention either of those two things. Ever. Again. Am I understood?" I shuddered involuntarily. I hated that Franco and Suzette saw me so weak. For a while, I worried I'd have to fire them, so I never had to look into their eyes and remember.