Twisted Together (Monsters in the Dark #3)(38)

Giving her one last chance to stop this, I whispered, "Tell me to stop. Tell me what you're not letting me see." My eyes dropped down her naked body, searching for clues of horror or lust. She was blank in both nuances and speech. "Do you want me to hurt you, esclave? Do you want me to fill you with my cock and grant you pain while you come?"

Something darted in her gaze, then was gone. A snake in the grasses of fucking temptation.

Tess dropped her hold on my wrist, stroking my cheek. Her gentle caress jolted me, granting me a lifeline in the sea of black.

I loved her.

I adored her.

I didn't want to hurt her.

"You never have to ask. I'm yours. I want what you want. I want whatever you give me." Her soothing voice twisted my brain.

See she wants this, too. You've nothing to worry about. Take her. Stop holding back.

Relief and excitement shoved away the hesitation and uncertainty. My fingers tightened, cutting off her air. Her eyes flared but displayed no other sign of alarm.

Don't. Pull away. Something isn't right.

That voice. The words of wisdom I always listened to.

Too bad it faded with every heartbeat.

Pressing my lips against hers, I never looked away from her blue-grey depths. She stood so regal, not slouching or trembling when I released my grip. "Are you telling me the truth?"

Tess never spoke to me in French, but she whispered, "Je comprends. C'est bon." Yes. It's okay.

Her touch threaded through my hair, cupping the back of my skull. Her nails sank into my scalp, causing me to break out in shivers. The sharp thrill reminded me all too well of being strapped to the bed and at her fucking mercy.

She'd torn me apart.

She'd flayed me alive.

She'd made me weak.

The beast inside growled; I trembled, trying to keep the cage locked and secure.

"Take your hands off me, Tess," I said, low and curt. Gritting my teeth, I fought against the violent craving. The one screaming of retribution. I wanted payback. Strike for strike. Lash for lash.

Tess stiffened, dropping her arms.

The sane part of my brain-the part unshadowed by monsters-fought to understand what had changed. Something about her drew everything evil to the surface. She called to this awful part of me.

Squeezing my eyes, I hissed, "I need you to stop."

Stop so I don't hurt you. I don't want to fucking hurt you.

Yes, you do.

"There's nothing to stop," she murmured. "I want this. I want you."

"Stop!" I roared, shaking her. My fingers burned to choke. Unable to stand touching her, I shoved her away. She fell onto the chaise, her breasts bouncing with the force of her fall.

I spun away, clutching my head. Get out. Get out!

I had to get control. I had to find a way to protect her. None of this was right.

Then why does she give you permission?

I opened my eyes, hoping to see the strong unsullied woman I'd fallen so madly for. I needed to see her strength. But all I saw was a shell. A vacant shell.

Fuck!

I took a step back, cursing when something sharp poked my sole. I looked down and my stomach hollowed out.

My belt.

Hit her. Strike her. Turn her white skin red.

Breathing hard, I stared right into Tess's flushed face. Where was my esclave? The equal measure of fuckedupness I'd come to rely on was gone-twisted into something entirely different that I couldn't understand.



       
         
       
        

Her fire had been replaced by acceptance and resilience. Her eyes didn't taunt me to hurt her, or glimmer with lust. She stood, waiting like a perfect fucking slave.

Goddammit!

My anger went from simmering to explosive; I lost another part of my soul.

Her panting chest drew my attention; my eyes devoured her naked flesh. "I can't stop it. Whatever you're doing-it's making it worse. Ten times worse. A thousand times worse." The roaring grew louder, tearing my brain apart with the need to give in. "Tess-you're … " You're not safe. Run!

Her entire body flushed with fear before being hidden by submission. Her back straightened. Her eyes screamed some silent message while her mouth devastated my remaining self-control.

"Do it. Please, Q. You need to. I see how much you need to."

I wrenched my hair. Tell the truth. Stand up to me.

Only she could stop this. Only she could put me back on the leash I desperately needed.

"I'll hurt you. Do you understand that?" I could barely speak through clenched teeth.

Silence.

Tell me no. Be brave.

She bowed her head. "Yes."

I shook my head, disbelieving. "I'll draw blood. Do you want that?"

Her shoulders rolled. "I understand."

"I'll make you fucking scream. You can't mean it."