I needed to take Tess ruthlessly and painfully. I needed to remember who I truly was at heart. She might have let me brand her and accept my callous ways, but I'd held back. All my life I'd held back.
And every time I did, it layered more darkness in my gut. Building into something manic. Tess had let me use her, but it was nothing, nothing, compared to what I wanted now.
"Je suis désolé." I'm sorry.
Her lips parted, her skin whitening.
My arms banded around her-picking her up in a vice. "I'm not done with you, mon coeur." My heart.
My mouth stole hers; my legs almost buckled at the fresh taste of her shower, cloaking the muskiness of spent desire.
Her lips went slack, allowing my tongue to dip inside her mouth. I groaned as she kissed me back. Her hands left the ramrod position by her sides, coming to rest on my hips. Her fingernails scratched my skin, dragging me forward until my lips bruised hers in a searing kiss.
"Q-please-"
Her beg wobbled with passion … no, wait-
My heart squeezed in panic.
It can't be. It couldn't happen.
I pulled back, glaring. I searched for some sign-some hint she wasn't coping. Her blue-grey eyes stared back. For the first time since I'd met her, I couldn't sense what riotous emotions she kept hidden.
Did she mean what she said? Or was that a lie, too?
She was unreadable.
The panic morphed to rage; I dragged her against me. My lips latched onto hers, kissing her hard. I tried to break her perfect façade. I wanted to crawl down her fucking throat and steal her heart and soul forever, so I'd always know her innermost hellions.
The monster inside-the one who lay dormant for weeks-came roaring back to life.
Control.
Smash her. Test her. Force her to give you her fears.
The sickly entice slithered in my blood, whispering of blackness and violence.
She won't tell you unless you make her.
Wasn't it my right to know everything about her? I had blood on my hands for her-the least she could do was talk to me-let me inside her soul.
It is your right. Just like her screams and pain are yours.
I shook my head, dispelling the rapidly building darkness. I never listened to the monster-why was I granting it power now?
Because you can't help what you want. Take it. Stop fighting.
Shit, I was losing control.
I shouldn't have let myself get so wound up. I should've taken my time before, drawing out the moment, giving me the chance to keep the infernal beast wrapped in chains where it belonged.
Tess kept something hidden-I sensed it on a carnal level. I didn't know what'd changed but it called to me-twisting me inside out until I slipped further away from right and into wrong.
Something was different. Something I couldn't see or hear or touch, but it drove me insane.
My fingers crept up, latching around Tess's throat. Her muscles worked hard as she swallowed. Her eyes were empty orbs-empty of fear or lust or love.
I fucking hated it.
"What have you done?" I ran my nose down her cheek, inhaling the scent of expensive hotel soap. Maybe I could smell the truth. Maybe then I might find out what she was hiding.
She squeaked as I spun her around, backing her into the lounge. Every step she took, the urge to give myself over grew stronger. It'd never been this bad before. This insistent.
Her fingers locked around my wrist, holding on while her feet moved backward. "Q … "
"Tell me, Tess. Tell me what you did." Tell me how I ruined you. Because I had. There was no other reason for the way she shut me out. "Tell me why I'm feeding off something you're projecting? What is it? What did you do?" I shook her, hating and loving the spike of emotion in her eyes. It was neither fear nor lust.
It scrambled my thoughts, confusing the shit out of me.
The chaise lounge in the centre of the room halted our journey, pressing against Tess's legs. She jerked to a halt, still holding onto my wrist. "I don't know what you're talking about."
I glared into her eyes-dying to see what she hid, dreading it at the same time. "You're lying-but I don't know why." Shaking my head, I tried to grab hold of sanity.
The monster inside urged me to string her up and whip the words free from her mouth. She needed to be taught that keeping things from her master was not fucking allowed. Lying was the worst treason of all.
But then the voice of reason smashed my limbs.
You'll never forgive yourself for doing this against her will.
But that was the kicker. I couldn't tell if this was against her will or if she wanted it as much as I did.
Tess's pulse hammered beneath my grip; her skin turned cool as winter. For the first time in my sorry existence, I couldn't control the bastardly desires roaring in my blood.