My palms went slick with nerves; my stomach churned even more. "But I can accept a dare-I have a way out."
Q's gaze dropped to my lips. "Drinking, or a dare-nothing would truly save you. The moment you refuse to answer a question, I'll pursue it until you tell me. I might not get the answer tonight, but I will eventually … you'd tell me, Tess … you know why?"
My heart whizzed around my chest like a faulty sparkler. "Why?"
"Because I own you. Tu es à moi." You're mine. "And your thoughts belong to me, just as much as your heart, body, and soul."
He shattered the achingly thick awareness between us by reclining and taking another sip. "If you accept those terms, then fine. I'll play." His permission layered with promise and warning. If I said yes, Q would have a free pass to anything he wanted. But if I did, I would have that same pass to learn more about the man I'd bound my life to.
It was tempting. It was scary.
I already knew my answer.
"I accept."
Q nodded, looking elegant and professional, as if he'd struck a good business transaction. Raising his almost empty glass, he signalled for the waiter. "In that case. We need a few more of these."
We were nothing before, now we're completely sure. Each other's possession, obsession, we're free just you and me
What the fuck was I doing?
Agreeing to play a juvenile game? It wasn't just a game-it came with disastrous consequences. There was no way I would have any luck playing it. I didn't mean to keep Tess in the dark-but there was a lot of my past I would never talk about. Things I refused to even remember or contemplate. Things I'd forced so far inside, I could almost pretend they never happened. I didn't want to show vulnerability by drinking, even if I refused to answer.
And I definitely didn't want to let her know just how nervous I was. Something about tonight … it was … off. I couldn't be sure if it was lack of sleep and the strain from yesterday, or if I had a right to be concerned. Either way, I didn't need Tess panicking over nothing. It was my job to carry the burden of safety and I'd finally fixed her-I refused to believe my time was almost up.
Damn motherfucking time.
But you'll get into her head. Free access.
Even if she refused a question, I would know what topics to chase; I'd understand her better by her avoidance, as much as her acquiescence.
But that would work both ways. Tess would know-even when I refused to tell her.
Was I in denial? Possibly. But it made me a happier person not having to deal with the shit coating my soul. Or the evilness encroaching on our future.
A pair of green eyes filled my mind.
Fuck.
It'd been so long since I let myself think about her. Forcing her far away-pretending she never existed. It was easier that way. Liveable that way.
I dragged a hand through my hair, desperate for more whiskey. I wanted to be seriously drunk for this-but then my mouth would be loose-my reactions compromised. Tapping my ankle against the chair leg, I let the small scabbard and knife strapped to my calf comfort me.
I can't be drunk.
My tongue would forget to lie; the truth would spill free-Tess would know exactly what I wanted to keep hidden.
The only way to get through this was to stay stone-cold sober.
Looking at Tess, I forced my heart from tripping like I'd taken a vial full of cocaine. Tonight was all about tripping her up. She wanted to play? Fan-fucking-tastic. I'd use it to my advantage, then I'd fuck her like I'd been dying to do since I'd strapped her to the cross in my bedroom.
Tess took a hearty drink, hesitation clouding her face. She caught my eye, only to look away with a flicker of a smile. Great-she was nervous. As she should be, because I was about to rip into her past, learn all her secrets, and ruin any idea of privacy.
The waiter appeared with more drinks; I waved him away once he'd delivered. I'd eyed him thoroughly when we first arrived-wondering, suspecting. But he seemed harmless enough.
Taking a deep breath, I glared at Tess, tasting all the questions I had for her-wondering which one to start with. I'd wanted so many times to get inside her head-now that opportunity was all mine.
What's your secret fantasy?
If you could change a part of me-what would it be?
How many men have kissed you?
I knew how many sexual partners she'd had. Goddammit, I did not want to go down that line of questioning. Already, anger scalded my veins at the memory of walking in on that rutting motherfucking bastard Lefebvre raping her.
My hands curled. Shooting him had been too kind-no sense of justice for what he'd done. He'd gone after Tess because of my fucking father and his empire of trading women. My own flesh and blood used them worse than possessions-carelessly killing them when they were no longer tradable, fuckable. Goddammit, don't think about him either.