As if it was as easy as that. Wanting had little to do with it. I couldn’t because deep down I knew I needed to loosen Remo’s hold on my stupid heart before I could ever consider moving on.
I knew the rules of our world, even now they still bound me, bound my family. We had promised the Mancinis Dante’s niece, and now they wouldn’t get what they wanted, what they expected as the ruling family of Indianapolis. Maybe Danilo had accepted my decision but his father was still alive, sick and bedridden, but alive. He pulled the strings in the background. The Mancinis wouldn’t settle for just anyone as my replacement.
“I can’t,” I said quietly. “I can’t ever marry, Mom. Don’t make me.”
Mom rushed toward me and embraced me. “We won’t. Not me, not your father, not Dante. We all failed you horribly. You don’t ever have to marry, sweetheart, you can live with your father and me for as long as you wish.”
“Thank you, Mom,” I said, and even as I said it I knew it wasn’t what I wanted.
She pulled back, frowning. “Your uncle would like a word with you. I told him it’s still too soon, but he insists it’s necessary. Still, if you aren’t ready, I will stand up to him.”
Dread filled me but I shook my head. “It’s fine. I’ll talk to him.”
She gave a terse nod. “I’ll get him. He needs to return to Chicago tomorrow morning. He’s been gone for too long these last two months.”
She kissed my cheek before she left.
Dante stepped in a moment later, tall and controlled as always. He closed the door then paused, his cool blue eyes flickering to my throat where Remo’s marks had been—no longer visible, covered by layers of concealer, just like my traitorous feelings for him were covered up by stacks of lies. I flushed and touched my skin in shame.
“Don’t,” he said firmly.
I frowned. He moved toward me slowly, cautiously, as if he thought I might bolt. I lowered my hand from my throat when he came to a stop in front of me. “Don’t be ashamed for something forced upon you,” Dante said quietly, but his voice was off. It had a note to it I had never heard before. I searched my uncle’s eyes, but it was difficult to read him. He exuded control and power. But there was a flicker of regret and sadness in his gaze. “I don’t want to open up painful wounds, Serafina, but as the Boss of the Outfit, I need to know everything you know about the Camorra so I can bring them down and kill Remo Falcone.”
I swallowed, looking away. This war would become so much bloodier and crueler soon. As if that would undo my kidnapping. As if Remo’s death could change anything. But my family and Danilo needed to make amends for their guilt. Nothing I could say would change that.
“I don’t think I know anything that will help you.”
“Every small detail helps. Habits. The dynamic between the brothers. Remo’s weaknesses. The layout of the mansion.”
Remo’s weakness. His brothers. Remo’s biggest weakness may be his only one.
“Remo doesn’t trust anyone but his brothers and Fabiano. He would die for them,” I whispered.
For some reason I felt almost guilty for revealing that to my uncle, as if I owed Remo loyalty, as if I owed him anything at all. He had kidnapped me and then let me go. I wasn’t sure what made me hate him more.
“Apart from the family, only Fabiano and Leona are allowed inside the mansion, and occasionally cleaners. Remo keeps a knife and a gun close at all times. He’s a light sleeper ...” I froze, falling silent.
My skin burned at what I’d just revealed, but Dante only regarded me calmly. No judgment or anger. I still had to lower my gaze from his because his understanding made me feel even worse. He didn’t know I’d come freely into Remo’s bed, enjoyed not only the sex but also the tenderness afterwards. It was a side of Remo no one knew and that he had showed it to me meant more to me than it should.
Could I reclaim what was lost? I began shaking, overwhelmed with the situation, with my feelings.
“Serafina,” Dante said firmly, touching my shoulder. I raised my eyes to his and shook even worse, overcome with the need to spill everything but not brave enough. I pressed myself against my uncle, and he touched the back of my head in comfort.
“What am I going to do? How will I belong again? Everyone will look at me with disgust.”
Dante’s body coiled tighter. “If anyone does, you’ll let me know, and I’ll deal with them.”
I nodded.
“And you never stopped belonging. You are part of the Outfit, part of this family, nothing changed.”
Everything did. Worst of all, I had.
When we finally emerged, Samuel took his place as my shadow again. We were on our way into the dining room when the front door opened. One of our bodyguards stepped in, and then Sofia shot inside. Her wide eyes landed on me, and she stormed off in my direction. She collided with me, and I would have fallen backward if Samuel hadn’t steadied me.
“You’re back!” Sofia hugged my middle tightly, and I rested my chin on top of her head, smiling. When I pulled back, her eyes were alight with happiness despite the tears in them. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, ladybug.”
I wondered how much she knew, how much my parents and Samuel had divulged or had been unable to hide from her.
Valentina entered with her two kids, Anna and Leonas. Anna was around Sofia’s age, and they loved each other dearly. They were not just cousins but best friends despite the distance between them. Leonas was almost eight and the spitting image of Dante, except for the eyes. Anna and Leonas gave their mother a questioning look, and she nodded before they came toward me as well. I hugged them, though it proved difficult because Sofia continued to cling to my arm. Anna and Sofia sometimes were mistaken for sisters because their hair color was similar.
Valentina was the last to greet me. Her embrace was gentle as if I was breakable but I gave her a firm smile.
“We can have dinner,” Mom said with a brave smile of her own. With the kids around, she wouldn’t burst into tears again nor would anyone else.
Conversation flowed easily at the dining table. Too easily. I could tell everyone was trying to create normalcy for my sake and their own. Danilo wasn’t there. I assumed he wanted to be alone after I’d broken off our engagement, and he wasn’t part of the family and now he’d never be.
It was strange being surrounded by my family again. I sat between my siblings, both of them eager to be close to me, but my thoughts kept straying to Las Vegas, to Remo.
“How was Las Vegas?” Leonas blurted when we were done with dessert, a decadent chocolate cake, my favorite.
“Leonas,” Dante said sharply.
My cousin flushed, realizing his mistake.
I took a sip from my water then shrugged. “Not worth visiting if you ask me.”
Leonas giggled, and my family relaxed again. Samuel squeezed my hand under the table. Maybe I could find my way back to them.
It felt strange being back in my own bed. I had trouble falling asleep. Too much had happened. This morning I’d woken in Las Vegas with Remo, and now I was here.
The door opened and Samuel slipped in. I made room for him in the bed.
“Awake?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate. He lay down on the covers on his back. “What about you?”
Samuel was quiet for a couple of heartbeats. “I was in a late night meeting with Dante and Dad.”
“Oh,” I said. “About your plans to get revenge on the Camorra?”
Samuel swallowed audibly. “No. Not that. It was about Danilo. His father isn’t happy about the state of things.”
Worry overcame me. What if they married me off to him despite everything? What if his family insisted on being given Dante’s niece?
“Sam,” I whispered, and he reached for me in the dark, his hand covering mine.
“Dad promised Sofia to him.”
I froze. “She’s a child.”
Samuel sighed. “They will marry the day after her eighteenth birthday.”
“That’s still six and a half years away.”
I could feel Samuel nod. “They think Danilo is still young and busy taking control over Indianapolis and taking care of his father. He can wait.” He paused. “And it’s not like he can’t keep himself busy with other women until then.”
I closed my eyes. “What will Sofia say? It’s my fault. I should just marry him.”
“No,” Samuel growled. “We won’t let you. That’s a point we all agree on, Fina. You won’t be given in marriage to anyone. You’ve gone through enough. You’ll stay here until you feel better.”
“And then?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. I couldn’t live on my own. As a woman that wasn’t an option. They’d have to marry me off or I’d have to stay with Mom and Dad forever.
“You come live with me eventually.”
I laughed. “Yeah right. I’m sure your future wife will be ecstatic to have me under the same roof.”
“She’ll do as I say,” he murmured.
I fell silent. “Once you marry, it’s your duty to protect her, to be good to her, Sam. I won’t be your responsibility anymore.”
“I’m not going to marry anytime soon, not with the way things are developing with the Camorra.”