I pressed my face into the crook of his neck, not able to look at him when I delivered the truth. “Remo didn’t torture me. He wanted you to believe he did. He wanted me to make you believe you hurt me so you’d suffer. I ... I ... only wanted to save you.”
Samuel cupped my head and pulled back, his eyes softer than before. “It was my job to save you and I couldn’t. Even if those screams weren’t real, I can see what he did to you ...” Samuel swallowed, his eyes lowering to the bite marks once more. “You were meant to be treated like a princess, cared for and cherished ... not ... not ...” He shook his head and buried his face in his palms. “I can’t get the image of those sheets out of my head, can’t forget Mom’s sobs or the way she fell to her knees in front of Dante and begged him to save you, or how Danilo destroyed Dad’s entire office. I can’t forget Dad crying. He’s never cried, Fina. Dad and I have done and seen so much, but we both fucking cried like fucking babies that day. I swear by my honor, by everything I love, that I won’t rest until I’ve rammed my fucking knife into Remo Falcone.”
I kissed the top of his head and held him because despite being the one who had been kidnapped, Remo hadn’t broken me, and I realized it had never been his intention. He’d done worse.
“Sam,” I said, gathering my courage because I needed to save him, needed to save them all with the truth even if it ruined me. “I didn’t suffer like you all think. Remo didn’t rape me, he didn’t torture me.”
Samuel pulled back and I braced myself for the inevitable, for the disgust and hatred, resigned myself to it, but his eyes held pity and sadness.
He stroked my throat then touched the faded cut on my forearm. Something dark swirled in the depth of his blue eyes when they locked on mine. “You were innocent. You’ve never been alone with a man and then you were at the mercy of a monster like Remo Falcone. You had nothing to protect yourself. You did what you had to, to survive. The brain is a powerful tool. It can survive the cruelest horrors by creating alternative realities.”
I shook my head. He didn’t understand. “Sam,” I tried again. “I wasn’t raped.”
Sam swallowed and kissed my forehead as if I was a small kid. “You’ll realize it eventually, Fina. Once you’ve healed, once the brainwashing ceases, you’ll see the truth. I’ll be there for you when that happens. I won’t ever leave your side again.”
And I realized then that he’d never believe the truth because he couldn’t. The sister he knew and loved wouldn’t have slept with Remo, and if I wanted to return to him, to my family, I needed to become her again.
I wasn’t sure if she was still inside of me somewhere or if Remo had ripped her from me, just like he did my innocence, and kept her for himself.
CHAPTER 21
SERAFINA
After covering the bite marks with concealer, I left my room with Samuel at my side. Mom was in the dining room, setting plates up for dinner. Usually the maids did it, but I got the impression she needed to keep busy. She’d lost weight. She had always been tall and thin, but now she was willowy.
Samuel’s words flashed through my mind, that she’d fallen to her knees and begged Dante to save me. My mother was a proud woman. I don’t think she’d ever begged for anything in her life nor knelt. But kneeling for the ones we loved ... that was something she and I would always do. I walked over to her. She smiled but her eyes held questions and fears.
“Can I help you?”
Her eyes flitted down to my throat. “No, Fina. Just rest.”
I didn’t feel like resting. “Where are the others?”
“Your father and uncle are talking to Danilo in the office. Sofia will be here soon. She’ll be so happy to see you again.”
I smiled but my thoughts strayed to Danilo. My fiancé. My gaze fell to the engagement ring around my finger, and I shivered, remembering the look in Remo’s eyes when he’d slipped it on.
“I need to talk to Danilo,” I said quietly.
Mom put the plates down, searching my face. She didn’t ask why. Maybe she knew and could see it on my face. “Do that, sweetheart.”
I nodded and turned to head for Dad’s office. Samuel followed at my heel. “You’re not going to marry him, are you?”
I stopped in the hallway and peered up at my twin. There was no judgment in his voice, but there was relief. “I can’t.”
He touched my shoulder. “I’m here for you.”
“Won’t you have to go to Chicago to work with Dante?”
He shook his head, mouth thinning. “We decided against sending me away. Dad needs me here. We need to protect our territory.”
Me. They needed to protect me ... and Sofia.
“I want to talk to Danilo alone, Sam.”
He frowned, protectiveness flashing in his eyes.
“Sam,” I said firmly. “I can handle it.”
I’d handled Remo for months. Nothing could scare me anymore. Maybe the same thought crossed Samuel’s mind because he nodded with a grimace.
“I’ll wait in the hallway,” he said, leaning against the wall beside the wooden door.
I knocked twice then walked in, not waiting for a reply.
My breath caught in my throat at the mess. Someone had thrown two book cases over. Ripped books and broken glasses. Dad’s beloved collection of whisky tumblers scattered the floor. The leather sofa was slashed, filling poking out everywhere.
Danilo had done this and nobody bothered to clean up afterward.
My eyes found my fiancé. He was controlled, so much like Dante that he probably couldn’t stand being compared to him anymore. I couldn’t imagine him doing this. His brown eyes latched onto mine, full of regret and anger.
“Dove?” Dad asked.
I cleared my throat, realizing he and Dante were staring at me as well.
“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” I said. “But I need to have a word with Danilo.”
Dad hesitated, his eyes flitting between my fiancé and me. Dante put a hand on his shoulder and eventually they both left. Danilo faced the window, his hands pressed into the wall on both sides.
The door closed with a soft click, and silence reigned in the room.
Danilo’s shoulders heaved. He was tall and muscular, but not quite like Remo.
“I ...” I began but then didn’t know how to go on, how to explain that I was lost to him.
Danilo turned around slowly, a haunted expression on his face. He smiled but it was strained, tired, and behind it lurked something dark and broken. “Serafina,” he murmured. He took a step closer but stopped when I tensed. “I still want to marry you. If you want me.”
I regarded Danilo’s handsome face. He knew to hide his violence better than Remo. He was elegantly handsome, not brutally attractive like Remo. Remo. Always Remo. I own you.
“I’m not the girl you were promised anymore,” I whispered. “I’m ... lost.”
He shook his head and came closer, but still not close enough to touch. “He will pay. In these last two months, I’ve spent every waking moment thinking about you, going crazy with worry and rage. Your family and I ... we wanted to get you back ... We failed ...”
“It’s okay,” I said softly.
“And I don’t care that he ... that you aren’t ...” His face twisted with guilt and fury. “I still want to marry you, and you don’t have to be scared, Serafina. I won’t touch you until you’ve healed, until you want me to, I swear.”
I moved toward Danilo. We could have been happy. He would have been kind to me, as good a husband as a Made Man could be. I didn’t kid myself into thinking he wasn’t a monster, but he was a restrained one. I touched my palms to his chest and looked into his eyes. Something in them had changed from our last encounter two months ago. They were harsher, darker. My captivity had left its mark on him too.
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You deserve someone else. Please find someone who deserves you.”
He regarded me, his jaw flexing. “From the moment I saw you the first time, I only wanted you.”
I lowered my eyes because from the moment Remo had laid eyes upon me, I had been his.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
He nodded slowly. I dropped my hands from his chest and stepped back. “Falcone got what he wanted, didn’t he?” he said hoarsely. “But your family and I will bring him down. We will destroy him.”
I shivered. I slid my engagement ring off my finger and handed it to Danilo. “Don’t waste your time on revenge, Danilo. Move on. Find someone else. Be happy.”
He shook his head, obviously fighting for control. “Revenge is all I want, and I won’t stop until I get it. Remo will curse the day he took you from me.”
Remo already did, but not for the reason Danilo wanted him to.
He left without another word. Swallowing hard, I leaned against the windowsill. This was it. I was no longer engaged ... I was nothing. I was ... ruined. In our circles, I was ruined. If I’d married Danilo, things might have been different, but now ...
There was a soft knock and Mom entered, looking worried. I gave her a small smile, wanting to banish the hard line between her brows. “Danilo told me you don’t want to marry him.”