Fabiano nodded, then got down on his knees beside his father. I did the same. Fabiano raised the knife above his father’s chest then looked at me. I closed my fingers over his and together we jabbed the blade down, right into Scuderi’s fucking heart.
Fabiano’s shoulders sagged and he released a harsh breath as if the man’s death finally set him free. I wondered if anything would ever do the same for Nino and me?
SERAFINA
Outside of Las Vegas we traded in the car for the private jet belonging to the Outfit. I huddled in my seat, my cheek pressed to the window, watching the city grow smaller in the distance. Dad sat across from me, looking and not looking at me, caught somewhere between utter relief and hopeless despair.
I knew what a pitiful sight I was. Bloody and torn dress. Bite marks all over my throat. Dante was talking quietly on the phone, but he, too, slanted the occasional look at me. The only one who hadn’t looked at me after I flinched from his touch was Danilo. He leaned forward, forearms braced on his knees, staring blankly at the floor.
Guilt and a flicker of sadness washed over me. For him. For us. For what could have been and never would.
I swallowed and looked away. I met Dad’s gaze. He forced a small smile and reached for me as if to touch my legs over the tulle of my dress, but then he hesitated as if he was worried about my reaction. I snatched his hand and squeezed. His eyes were still glassy and haunted. I’m a sinner, Dad. Don’t cry for me.
He lifted his other hand with the phone. “Do you want to call Samuel? I sent him a message that we got you.”
I nodded fiercely, my throat clogging. Dad’s eyes darted to my throat once more, and the hint of something cruel and harsh flared in them. Something he had never showed at home. He gave me his phone, and I hit speed dial with shaking fingers.
“Yes?”
For a second, hearing Samuel’s voice immobilized me. “Sam,” I croaked.
There was silence. “Fina?”
The word was a broken exclamation that splintered me apart. Tears trailed down my cheeks, and I could feel all eyes on me. I closed my own. “I’m sorry.”
Samuel sucked in a sharp breath. “Don’t ... don’t apologize. Not ever again, Fina.”
I couldn’t promise that. One day I’d have to deliver the apology that would make Sam hate me. A higher voice rang out in the background. “It’s okay, Mom,” Samuel soothed. “I’ll give her to you.” He addressed me again. “I’ll give you Mom now. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, Fina.”
I sniffled. “Me too.”
“Fina,” Mom said softly, trying but failing at sounding composed and not like she was sobbing.
So many broken hearts. So much pain and despair.
Remo Falcone was indeed the cruelest man I knew, and I had to be the coldest bitch on this planet, because even still my stupid heart thudded faster when I thought of him.
“I’ll be home soon,” I whispered.
“Yes ... yes,” Mom agreed. We hung up eventually because it got to be too much, the silence of suppressed crying and the distance we couldn’t bridge.
“Where are we going?” I hadn’t asked before because I’d just assumed we’d go back to Minneapolis ... but I was as good as Danilo’s wife. Would they take me to Indianapolis? Or maybe to Chicago because Dante needed to question me about every little detail of my captivity?
Dad leaned forward and cupped my cheek. “Home, Fina. Home.”
I nodded. My eyes found Danilo, who was watching me. Our gazes locked briefly, but then guilt forced me to look away. I’d have to face him eventually. I wasn’t sure what to tell him.
The rest of the plane ride passed in utter silence. I knew they all had so many questions to ask but held back for my sake, and I was glad because I still wasn’t sure what to say to any of them.
With every second that passed, my skin crawled more and more trapped in my wedding dress. It felt so utterly wrong, like being wrapped in lies and deceit.
Mom and Samuel waited in front of our house when we pulled up with the car. I didn’t see Sofia anywhere, probably to protect her from the sight, and I was glad. She didn’t need to see me like this.
I trembled when Dad helped me out of the car, his fingers tight around my forearm as if he worried I might faint. Dante and Danilo stayed back as we walked toward the house. Samuel staggered toward me. My twin. My confidante. My partner in crime.
He froze when his eyes registered my state, the marks on my throat, and his expression became one I’d seen the first time shortly after he’d become a Made Man five years ago. Cold, cruel, out for blood. He caught himself, bridged the remaining distance between us, and hugged me to his body, lifting me off the ground in a crushing embrace. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, shivering.
“I thought I’d never see you again,” he rasped.
I wasn’t the person he knew. She was gone. If he knew what I’d become, if they all knew, they’d hate me. And rightfully so.
Can you un-lose yourself?
I clung to Samuel for a long time, just breathing in his comforting scent, relishing in the feel of him. Eventually, he set me down and my eyes fell on Mom, who stood behind Samuel, her hand covering her mouth, tears running down her face. Dad had wrapped his arm around her, steadying her. Their anguish cut me deeply.
They thought Remo had raped me. I looked like I had been raped with my ripped and bloody dress. Mom rushed forward and embraced me so tightly I could barely breathe and she sobbed into my hair, and my heart ... it just broke hearing it. And not for the first time, I wished Remo had done what everyone thought so I could cry rightfully with my mother and with all of them.
I should have told her the truth, but the words didn’t pass my lips. Soon. Dad and Samuel joined us, and I sighed, because right then I allowed myself a moment of contentment being united with them. Samuel wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he led me inside our home.
“Where’s Sofia?” I asked.
“She’s with Valentina and the kids in a safe house close by. They’ll come over soon,” Dante explained from behind me.
I nodded.
“I need to shower,” I said and regretted my words when I saw the look my family exchanged. I quickly moved away and headed upstairs into my room, starting to tear at my dress, but the thing clung to me. Angry, desperate tears gathered in my eyes.
“Sam!” I called, and in a blink he was there. “Can you ... can you help me with the dress?”
He nodded and pushed my hair to the side to reach the zipper. He froze, releasing a shuddering breath. I knew what he saw: the bite mark on the nape of my neck. He leaned forward, burying his face in my hair. I allowed him a moment to gather himself even as my own heart broke and broke and broke. “I will kill him.”
A threat. A promise. Not my salvation as he hoped it could be.
He pulled down the zipper. I stumbled into the bathroom, not looking at him, and closed the door. The warm water didn’t wash away my shame and guilt. How could I remain among the people I had betrayed? How could I look into their faces knowing they had suffered more than I had?
I closed my eyes. They were happy to have me back. I had to focus on that. But why, why wasn’t I happy? I stepped out of the shower, dried myself, then wrapped a towel around my body. I stepped back out to grab clothes.
Samuel perched on the edge of my bed, his expression tight. His eyes flitted to my throat then to my thighs. My gaze followed his and I saw the hand-shaped bruises on my inner thighs where Remo had held me in place when he’d buried his face in my lap.
I felt the color drain from my face, grabbed some clothes, and returned to the bathroom. Shaking, I quickly dressed in a soft dress and tights. With a deep breath, I emerged and approached Samuel hesitantly. He was staring down at his hand on the bed, tightly curled into a fist.
I sat beside him, curling my legs under my body. Samuel raised his eyes and the look in them was like a wrecking ball of guilt. His gaze darted to my throat again, to Remo’s marks, and utter despair filled his face.
“Oh, Fina,” he said in a broken murmur. “I won’t ever forgive myself. I failed you. I should have protected you. These last two months I almost went crazy. I can’t stop thinking that I had to sit back while you went through hell. That I’m the reason why you suffered worse.” He swallowed. “When Remo sent us those sheets ...” His voice broke.
I threw myself at Samuel, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my nose against his neck. “Don’t. Please don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.”
I did. I wronged you all.
His arms came around me, and he shuddered. “You were supposed to be protected, to be safe from the horrors of our life. I never wanted you to find out how cruel the mafia could be. No one will ever touch you again, Fina. I won’t leave your side. And one day Dad and I will get our hands on Remo, and then we’ll show him that we can be as cruel and merciless as the Camorra. He will be begging for mercy.”
“It’s over,” I whispered. “It’s over, Sam. Let’s not talk about it ever again. Please.” I knew Remo better than he did, and nothing they could do would make Remo beg for mercy.
He nodded against me, and we stayed like that for a while. “When I heard your screams in the basement, I thought I’d go insane,” he said darkly.