“Then what? Do I have to get sex isn’t sin tattoo across my butt to drive the message home?”
Gemma choked out a laugh, slapping my chest before she began to idly trace my eight-pack once more. “Don’t disfigure your behind.”
“My behind…” I shook my head with a smile before I peered down. “Does that mean you enjoy the sight of it?”
She met my gaze. “Are you really fishing for compliments? You are the only person I could ever imagine getting a tattoo with their own name.”
I grinned. “Don’t change the topic.”
She gave a shrug. “It is nice to look at.”
“I like your ass too, Gem.”
She pursed that kissable mouth. I stroked my fingers along her waist and hip, enjoying how her eyes fluttered shut under the sensation. “I always imagined things to be different…”
“Different how?”
“Being intimate with a man. Mom never talked to me about it but my aunt saw me in my jeans and T-shirt once, and told me that I was asking for men to touch if I dressed like that, and that men are driven by their urges and wouldn’t be able to hold themselves back if I didn’t cover myself.”
I scoffed. “What a load of bullshit,” I growled. I tipped Gem’s face up. “No matter how you dress, only an asshole would think you’re asking for it. And that men can’t hold back after a certain point is complete and utter bullshit, Gemma. There’s no point of no return. That’s an urban myth that sick fucks use to justify rape. Even if you were lying naked under me, my dick already pressed up to your pretty pussy, I’d be able to stop if you told me so.”
Gemma smiled.
“I mean, I’d cry fat tears and my balls would explode, but I’d stop without hesitation. You can trust me at any point.”
Gemma wrapped an arm around me, her body softening against mine. “Thank you.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what for, but I enjoyed the feel of her relaxation.
“Tell me one personal thing about you that no one else knows.”
I tensed. My first reaction was to resort to sarcasm. I hadn’t bargained for so much talking, especially about emotions, but I wanted things between Gemma and me to work. I really wanted that, and not because I wanted to pop her cherry, not only because of that.
I didn’t want to dive into the black hole that was my early childhood and it wouldn’t really have been something no one knew about.
I thought back to the early days of my life in Las Vegas after we’d claimed back power. Suddenly after years of fighting and running, I’d had a home and the chance to live a life that came as close to normal as being a Falcone allowed, which was still a far cry from everyone else’s normal. “When I first became friends with Diego, it was because I loved spending time at your house. It was the first time I witnessed a normal family, one that wasn’t fueled by hate, pain, and fear. Don’t get me wrong, Remo and Nino did their best to raise Adamo and me. They did everything in their power to protect us, to care for us, but… you know Remo and Nino.”
Remo had taken care of my brothers and me since he was fourteen and our father had sent us to boarding school in England to get us out of the way. Dealing with our crazy mother, his sadistic hobbies and us, had simply been too much. “For a while, I really wanted a family like that, a life like that…”
“And now you don’t?”
I hesitated. “I like my family’s brand of crazy and things have changed since Kiara and Serafina are here. At first, I was pissed because I couldn’t act like I was used to, but now I really enjoy it, even the little monsters. I guess I like our version of a normal family.”
“Do you want kids?”
I brushed her ear with my lips. “Don’t you think we should master the first step of having sex before we use it the way God intended?”
“I don’t mean now. I mean someday.”
That was probably a topic we should have broached before we married. “I do, but not in the next ten years. I want Remo’s and Nino’s kids out of the crazy age.”
Gemma laughed. “Does the crazy age ever end?”
“With Nevio probably not,” I muttered. “What about you?”
“I want kids, but like you, I’m not in a hurry, even if it’ll break Mom’s heart. She’s already dreaming about getting her first grandkid next year.”
Relief flooded me. With Gemma’s traditional upbringing, it would have made sense for her to pop out a baby soon. “Then Toni and Diego better get it going because we sure as fuck won’t produce little Gemmas anytime soon.”
She raised her head. “What about little Savios?”
“Too much work.”
Gemma grinned and kissed me.
The day after our first shared intimacy and our talk, I was almost delirious with happiness.
Savio had really allowed us to get closer, and not only on a physical level. It was difficult for him to allow honest emotions; I could see that now. Everything was tinged with humor, sarcasm, or arrogance. It was his armor, his way to cope with a cruel past and a brutal present.
While he and his brothers brought Adamo to the airport so he could return to the hub of the racing scene, I tried my hand at some baking. So far I’d stayed clear of the kitchen because I didn’t want to intrude on Kiara’s territory, but she’d encouraged me to see it as my own. Maybe she wanted help cooking for so many people. No one else seemed to be able to prepare a decent meal except for her. It was one of the things Nonna had taught me when I was a little girl. I cherished the memories of our baking and cooking adventures.
Wistfulness overcame me as I prepared her famous pistachio cannoli. They took time, but they were worth it in the end. When the dough was in the oven and the pistachio cream in the fridge, I grabbed my phone.
When Mom picked up, she sounded hoarse.
“What’s wrong?”
“The flu, nothing to worry about.”
Easily said, but she didn’t have Nonna as support anymore. She coughed. “Should I come over and help you? Maybe bring you some soup?”
“Your aunt is coming over in the afternoon with chicken broth, but if you could take Carlotta, that would be wonderful. Your sister misses you anyway.”
“I’ll pick her up.”
I waited for the cannoli to be done before I went in search of Kiara and Serafina. The dough needed to cool off anyway before I could fill it with the cream.
Kiara sat on the sofa with her two boys, looking at a picture book.
“Do you know when Savio and his brothers will be back?”
Kiara shook her head. “I think they wanted to head to a casino to speak to the manager after dropping Adamo off, so it could be a while. Why?”
“I promised my mother to pick up Carlotta, and I hoped Savio could drive me there.”
“I’m not a very good driver, or I’d offer to drive you. It gives me anxiety.”
“I have a license, but I don’t have much experience driving.” Not to mention that said license wasn’t exactly legal and my experience consisted of trying to drive twice while Diego screamed at me not to crash his car.
“Serafina is at ballet with Greta. You could take one of the cars and drive yourself.”
“Which of the cars are Savio’s?”
“The Bugatti and the Ferrari, and that one Audi.”
All of them were sports cars of course. I took the keys to the Bugatti because I found them first in the heap of car keys belonging to the Falcone car park.
Once inside the car, my stomach plummeted. I’d completely forgotten that most European cars were stick shift. After some cursing and fumbling, the Bugatti roared to life, making me jump. It took a few more tries before I figured out to get it to drive without killing the engine. The next problem arose in front of the gate. I’d parked too close so it couldn’t open. That was the moment I gave up on the whole thing. If I couldn’t even get the car off the premises, driving through Vegas sounded like an extraordinarily bad idea. Fumbling with the stick once more, I pressed down on the gas. A second too late, I realized the car wasn’t in reverse. I shoved my foot down on the brakes. Too late. With a leap, I crashed into the gates.
Heart beating wildly, I got out of the car wide-eyed to inspect the damage. The hood of the car was compressed, smoke rose up and some kind of liquid dripped down, probably cooling liquid. The gates weren’t in much better shape than the car. Savio was obsessed with his car. And Remo probably wouldn’t be too happy about me destroying his gates either. What a wonderful way to start off with my new family.
Kiara came running down the driveway, looking alarmed. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, but the car isn’t.”
“Who cares about a car?” She looked into my eyes. “How are your neck and head?”
They hurt a bit. It wasn’t anything serious, though. I’d fought long enough to know it was like a hit to the face. “I don’t suppose there’s any way I can keep this from Savio?” We’d just made progress, I really didn’t want to ruin it.
Kiara smiled understandingly. “The moment you touched the gates, an alarm was raised that pops up on their phones. They’re already on the way. Nino called me.”
My stomach tightening, I checked my phone which was on silent mode. Two missed calls from Savio. Crap.