I’d never encountered grief this raw. My eyes slanted to my brothers. Nino had his arm wrapped around Kiara, who was bawling. Remo’s expression was the fiercest I’d ever seen it, as he gripped Serafina’s hand. She, too, was crying but in her proud, dignified way. In the past, it had only been my brothers and I. We had little to lose, except for each other, but now the number of people we cared about and had sworn to protect grew every year, and it would keep growing. I looked at Gemma.
My brothers had embraced their new responsibilities, and I would too.
I gave Gemma a few days after the funeral before I asked her if I could come over. We had our wedding to plan. Life needed to go on. It was easy to get lost in your grief, but I didn’t want that for Gemma.
She was in sweatpants and a T-shirt when I got there.
The house was strangely quiet with her mom and sister over at their aunt’s. Only Diego and Gemma lived in the house now, and Diego had become awfully quiet.
She let me in but kept her distance. I’d suspected that the two kisses we’d shared had been the result of her broken-heartedness.
We sank down on the sofa and she regarded me with a quiet scrutiny that made me nervous. “Are you still sure about marrying me in six weeks?”
I laughed. “Kiara’s already halfway done with the planning. She’d have my balls if I canceled the thing now.”
Gemma didn’t crack a smile. “I’m being serious.”
Sighing, I took her hand. “I’m sure about marrying you. I’ll probably be a lousy husband, but I’ll do my best.”
She swallowed. “I want you to be faithful to me. I want you to be only mine like I’m only yours.”
“I will be faithful.”
“You will be. So, until our wedding, you’re going to keep seeing other girls?”
I released a breath. “I haven’t been with another girl in two weeks.” Since I almost lost her and realized I couldn’t bear the thought.
“Congrats,” she said, her lips thinning.
“What do you want to hear, Gem? It’s the longest I’ve gone without sex since I lost my V-card at thirteen.”
“And the wait is going to be even longer, are you sure your bull can handle it?”
I hid a smile at her feistiness. I preferred it to her grief. “He’ll be fine. Six weeks will pass in no time.” It would be hard, of course, especially my poor dick. Just the thought of only having my hand for relief, nearly brought tears to my eyes.
“Six weeks?” Gemma echoed.
“Until our wedding, or did you reconsider the waiting until marriage thing?” I had to tease her, I couldn’t help it.
“Definitely not,” she said with a strange smile.
Our house had become horribly empty and quiet. I even missed Nonna’s disapproving cluck. I shoved the thought aside before grief could overwhelm me again. Four weeks had passed since their death, but sometimes it still felt like yesterday. Carlotta was still in the hospital after her surgery, but she was recovering quickly and would most likely be able to attend the wedding at the end of August.
It was still strange thinking that I’d really marry Savio in four weeks. For a while, I hadn’t been sure that would happen at all. Toni picked Mom and me up in her car because neither of us had a license. Now that Dad wasn’t there anymore, Mom had decided to learn how to drive, but so far, she’d been busy taking care of Carlotta. I, too, would start driving lessons after my wedding. There was still too much to do until then. Not to mention that I already had a license, thanks to my affiliation to a certain Falcone clan. No police officer in their right mind would give me a ticket once my last name was Falcone, but I still wanted to actually learn how to steer a car.
When Toni, Mom, and I stepped into the most expensive bridal store of Las Vegas, my heart seemed to be torn in two. On the one hand, I was excited to choose my wedding dress, something I’d dreamed of since I was a little girl, on the other hand, I felt horrible every time I saw Mom’s heartbroken expression. She tried to hide it but occasionally it broke through.
I chose a few dresses to put on and walked into the changing room. Mom came inside with me. She touched my arm. “Gemma, I want you to be happy. I want you to enjoy this day. It’s a special day, and I’m so happy for you. Dad and Nonna would have wanted you to enjoy it, so we will, do you hear me?”
I swallowed and nodded. The first two dresses I tried on were beautiful and I felt like a princess in them, but it was the third dress that completely stole my breath. When I stepped out of the dressing room, I could see on Mom’s and Toni’s face that they felt the same way.
“That’s you,” Toni whispered.
Mom nodded, blowing her nose with a teary smile.
It was me, and it was the dress I’d marry Savio Falcone in.
I’d gotten ready for the wedding in our house. It still felt surreal that I’d spent my last night there. Tonight, I’d move into the Falcone mansion—share a wing and bed with Savio.
A car with a driver picked Toni and me up, and drove us to church. We entered through a back entrance and hid in one of the back rooms until it was time. A couple minutes later, Mom stepped in. She’d helped Kiara arrange the flowers in church.
“I’ll see if I can help with preparations,” Toni said, kissing my cheek before she dashed off.
Mom closed the door and took me in. “You’re so very beautiful, Gemma. Savio won’t know what hit him.”
Tears glistened in Mom’s eyes. She swallowed hard, fighting the tears and losing her battle. A few droplets trailed down her cheeks. She blew out air. “I promised myself not to cry before church.”
I took her hand. “We both know that was never going to happen.” My eyes, too, stung with unshed tears.
She nodded. “If your dad could have seen you like this…” Her words died away in a choked sob and a tear slid out of my eye. I fought for composure. Maybe the waterproof makeup would keep everything in place, but swollen eyes and a red nose were difficult to hide. “And your nonna.” Mom closed her eyes, her face scrunching up. She shook her head desperately, trying to hold back.
Wetness gathered on my cheeks and I pressed my lips together.
Since I was a little girl, I’d dreamed about my wedding day. Mom and Nonna would show me photos from their day, beaming and wistful. They’d both been beautiful brides, and they never stopped telling me that I, too, would be a gorgeous bride.
Nonna had always been so excited about witnessing my wedding, the first wedding from her grandchildren. Now she wouldn’t be there.
Neither would be Dad. My stomach hollowed out, a gaping abyss of grief and sadness.
“They are watching from above,” she finished firmly. “That should be our consolation today. This is a day of joy and we can’t allow grief to ruin it. I’ve waited too long to see my beautiful Gem walk down the aisle.”
Mom squeezed my hands tightly, staring into my eyes. “Be happy. That’s what both of them wanted for you.” She smiled. “Happiness and many beautiful children.”
“Mom!” I choked out, then laughed. “I’m only eighteen. I won’t give you any grandchildren anytime soon.”
Mom shrugged. “You never know. I was your age when I got pregnant with Diego.”
I didn’t mention that Savio and Dad were nothing alike. Savio definitely didn’t want any children yet, and to be honest, neither did I.
Mom regarded me in a strange way, stroking my cheek. “So grown up. I can’t believe my little girl is going to become a married woman today.” A hint of embarrassment crossed her features.
She cleared her throat. “Tonight will be a special night.”
My eyes grew wide, realizing the direction of Mom’s words. Heat crawled up my neck.
Mom’s cheeks, too, were stained pink. “I think,” she said with a small embarrassed laugh. “I’ll ask your future sisters-in-law to have this conversation with you.”
“Oh no, Mom, I don’t need a conversation.” Toni had explained everything I needed to know. After all, she’d been with Diego, but Mom didn’t know that, of course.
Mom shook her head and walked toward the door. “Every bride needs that kind of talk.” She slipped out before I could try to dissuade her. I stared at my reflection.
My tears had dried by now, and fortunately my eyes weren’t swollen. I hadn’t cried enough for that. I fumbled with the necklace. Nonna’s family heirloom.
A knock sounded, tearing me from this dangerous path of mourning.
“Gemma?” Kiara’s voice rang out. I cringed at the conversation that was about to happen.
Guests had started trickling in and began filling the pews. To see the day that a Falcone would marry in church…
I’d gathered with my brothers in the back, greeting everyone. Kiara and Serafina were busy instructing Greta and Nevio once more. Gemma’s mother hurried toward Kiara and Serafina and said something to them while throwing a quick glance in my direction. They nodded, then Mrs. Bazzoli walked away.
“What is it?” I asked.
Kiara blushed.
Serafina smiled coyly. “Mrs. Bazzoli asked us to have a talk with Gemma before you marry.” She paused for emphasis. “A girl’s talk.”