“I’m not quite that flexible. Those Pilates classes can only do so much.”
Lila sighed. “It’s a song about giving oral sex to a female. Not sure if powdering you would have the same effect, Kagan.” She tapped her nails on her cheek, her eyes brightening. “Actually, maybe that’s a good idea. Jasmine can get up a ladder and dump the sugary substance on Simon. It’ll be a trend-setting role reversal. I like it. Good thinking.”
Before anyone could blink, she popped to her feet. “I’m going to run this by Donovan and get a vid shoot set up. Kagan, don’t cut your hair. Women like it long.”
Nick touched the ends of his own short cut. “I don’t seem to have any trouble.”
“Discriminating women,” she corrected, skirting the table and heading for the door. “Keep up the good work, Oblivion. Time’s running down and I want enough material to take into the studio next week, so don’t start slacking now.” The door clicked shut behind her.
Gray unfolded his long frame from the chair and had taken two strides toward the door when Jazz called him back. “Gray, wait.”
“Guess this is our cue to leave.” Nick grabbed a handful of the back of Simon’s shirt and shoved him toward the door.
Deak shot her a sympathetic glance and followed them, shutting the door with a decisive snap.
She drew up her legs and hugged her knees to her chest. One of the benefits to being small was that she could imitate a pretzel when she wanted to hide from the world.
Except she never wanted to hide from him.
“I’m not going to apologize, because I don’t know what I did,” she said quietly. “If you expect me not to be sexualized, then you shouldn’t have ever invited me into this band. That’s part of the rock and roll image. As you well fucking know. Girls scream after you all the time, and I’ve never put a bag over your head.”
His silence felt as brutal as a slap. No, actually, it hurt worse. She’d been slapped before. Mrs. Beetle, her second foster mother, hadn’t had a problem with meting out her form of justice with an open palm.
This sting lasted longer.
After a moment, he heaved out a breath and dropped into the seat he’d vacated. He locked his hands behind his head, staring off somewhere she couldn’t see.
“Nothing to say, huh?” She swallowed hard and picked up the cinched purse she’d set down beside her chair. “Okay. Guess that’s that.”
He let her get to the door before he spoke. “It feels like I’ve shared you my entire life. Is it so wrong of me to want you to myself for a little while?”
“No.” She closed her eyes and gripped her purse tighter. “But it’s wrong to expect more from me than I expect from you. If this situation had been reversed and Lila had asked you to do something crazy for a video, I would’ve bitten my tongue.”
His laughter scraped down her spine, as cold as an icicle. “Yeah, well, guess what? You’re better than I am, in so many ways.”
“Not in my eyes.”
“Your eyes aren’t getting an accurate picture, sweetheart.” Instead of sounding sarcastic, he sounded tired. So very exhausted.
So was she.
“No, perhaps I’m only seeing what I want to. Just like every time I think we can put what happened with Nick behind us, it comes back again to kick us in the ass.”
“We’re in the same band. It’s not like I can forget when he’s staring me in the face.”
“Or when you’re collaborating with him on songs about doing me? Ouch. Awkward. For me anyway. The two of you seemed cool with it.”
“Jazz—”
“Forget it.” Too annoyed to hold back her frustration, she yanked open the door. “I’m going back to the spa to see if they’ll fit me with a shroud so no one notices I have tits.”
* § *
For two days, Jazz didn’t respond to his calls. Oh, she didn’t ignore him. She’d never be that cruel. She spoke to him civilly, even laughing as she regaled him with Simon’s latest adventures involving a glycolic peel and a pedicurist. She’d gotten a full-body detoxifying seaweed wrap and purchased another dress. This one was champagne-colored, like her hair.
God, he missed her hair and all the rest of her.
She explained not visiting by saying that she and the guys were in a good rhythm with their songwriting and she didn’t want to alter their streak. The underlying message, however, was obvious. She hadn’t forgiven him for his highhanded tactics and she wasn’t going to bend until he proved he would bend too.
It was probably smarter that they faced this issue now. They were so new, and it was bound to be a problem going forward. One way or another, he’d figure out how to kill his jealousy. They were both part of the band. And if Lila had suggested the sugar thing to him, he would’ve laughed but he wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Because he was a guy, and that made it okay.