“I didn’t realize we’d ever done anything but sling crap at each other.”
“Yeah, well, consider this my first step toward forging world peace.” Nick braced his arms on his thighs and leaned forward, tension lacing his expression. “If you think I’m not well aware of the kind of shit you’re into, you’re dead wrong. You give off the vibe of a song we’ve all heard too many times before.”
Gray’s skin iced over. He could guess quite well where Nick was going with this. Deliberately, he pushed his notebook aside and grabbed his guitar again. He’d suddenly lost his mojo to write sexy times. “Spell it out, man. I don’t have time to guess what you mean.”
“Here’s a hint.” He kicked back again and waved his cigarette, probably tipping ashes onto the hardwood floor. “Cokehead musician, dead at eleven. Not happening in my Behind The Music episode, pal.”
Gray gripped the neck of his guitar. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I know way too well what I’m talking about. My family’s made up of potheads and powder pushers, so don’t try to blow smoke up my ass. And that’s not even mentioning the baggie you dropped in front of me in the studio last spring.”
When Gray only bowed his head, Nick chuckled softly. “Yeah. Thought so. You remember that day. You know, right after we had that threesome with the girl who wasn’t your girl who isn’t your girl who won’t ever be your girl if you don’t drag your head out of your ass.”
“That threesome was a mistake.”
“You were the party crasher, not me.”
Gray braced a fist on his tensed thigh. “You don’t have history with her. No one will ever care about her the way l do.”
“Convincing me or yourself?”
Gray kicked out at the coffee table, sending it sliding across the gleaming hardwood floor. It crashed hard into Nick’s legs but he barely flinched. “I saw the pictures the other night. I know you still want her. Why don’t you just admit it?”
Nick blew smoke rings at the ceiling. “Don’t think I ever denied it. That doesn’t mean anything else is going to happen with us, or even that it should. When the timing’s fucked, it’s all fucked. And with her and me, it’s been shit since day one for one reason and one reason only.” He leveled his eyes on Gray. “I’m looking at him.”
Gray linked his fingers behind his neck. The truth of what had happened between him and Jazz the night before lingered on the tip of his tongue. All he had to do was say the words and it would extinguish the last bit of hope he saw flickering in Nick’s eyes. But he couldn’t do it. Not just because Nick might run to Lila, but because he understood all too well what it was like to love Jasmine Edwards and not think there was a chance in hell of her ever loving him back.
He didn’t know if Nick loved her. He seriously doubted Nick had the capacity to love anyone. But he had feelings for her, and the idea of stomping on them wasn’t nearly as much fun as Gray had always assumed it would be. Maybe his good mood was making him feel magnanimous.
Or maybe loving someone who loved you back had the power to change everything.
“She’s the most important person in my life,” Gray said quietly. “I know she told you some of our past. The situation with my family, I mean. She’s my family now. Without her, I have nothing.” Am nothing, he added silently.
Nick cracked his knuckles and steadfastly avoided Gray’s gaze. “I told her on New Year’s Eve to go after you.”
“What?” Shock wound through him. “Why would you do that?”
“Because she’s miserable without you. She can’t make a move forward. Even beyond everything else, she’s my friend, and I don’t like my friends being unhappy.”
Gray swallowed hard and ran a fingertip over the spine of his notebook. Was that what had sent her to his doorstep last night? Nick? Was his biggest rival—not only for Jazz, but within the band itself—part of the reason he might have a chance with the woman he adored? “Thank you,” he said finally. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for her.”
“I understand that.”
“But don’t think that I’m giving you my wholesale approval. I’ve got my eye on you. Not just because of her, but because of my fucking band.”
“Our band,” Gray muttered. “Last I checked, all of our names were on the contract despite the BS you tried to pull with Simon about getting the bigger cut.”