Twisted(56)

Deacon frowned. “Booty call? I thought you were visiting Gray’s sick grandma.”

Jazz flushed. God, she hated lying to anyone, especially her bandmates. She was about to apologize for her fib and come clean when Harper booted the door shut and linked her arm around her husband’s waist. “She was visiting Gray’s penis, and it’s a secret from Lila the Romance Killer so shh.”

Deacon unhooked Harper’s arm and stepped closer to the bed. His jaw tightened, but that wasn’t what caused the kick in Jazz’s belly. For an instant, hurt flashed in his eyes. Deacon was a good man, the kind who believed in dealing off the top of the deck at all times. Of all of them, he was the closest to her other than Gray, and they’d bonded more after the contract brouhaha that had nearly ripped the band apart. She knew he felt protective toward her, and after Lila’s decree, her starting something up with Gray now seemed ill-advised at best.

But that didn’t mean she intended to do anything any different. She couldn’t. As much as she loved Oblivion, she loved Gray more.

Hopefully her loves weren’t mutually exclusive. Because she wanted—needed—both.

“That true, pix?” Deak asked softly, slipping his hands in his pockets as he waited for her answer. Even Simon had gone still and propped his head on his hand to listen.

“Yes.” She made herself meet first Deak’s gaze then Simon’s. “I made a decision that could potentially harm the band if Lila finds out and flips her shit, as she seems likely to do. I knew that, and I did it anyway. If you want to know if I feel guilty, the answer is no.”

“Jazz,” Deak began.

“Let me finish. Please.” She didn’t speak until he nodded. “I’ve been in love with Gray since I was fourteen. It just took me this long to do something about it.” She wrapped her arms around her midsection. “I won’t give him up for anyone. I hope you can understand, and I’m sorry for lying to you about where I went. But I’m not sorry for loving him.”

Harper sniffled from the doorway and waved her hands when everyone glanced her way. “What? I’m pregnant. I can cry at Lifetime movies happening right in front of me.”

Jazz snorted. “Honey, what went on last night belonged on another channel other than Lifetime. Promise.”

“Oooh? Do tell.” Simon grinned and sat up, extending his fist to hers. “I say rock on with your bad self. It’s none of Lila’s damn business, and I, for one, am a card-carrying member of the fuck-who-the-hell-you-want club.”

Jazz gave him a watery smile and bumped her fist to his. “Thanks.”

“Ah, to hell with it. Come here. I need a good Jazz hug.” He hauled her into his lap and made her squeal as he squeezed his arms around her ribs. “Much better,” he said, laughing as she squirmed away.

She pulled her dress down her thighs and shot a sidelong look at a suspiciously silent Deacon. He’d moved back beside Harper and she was talking quietly to him, stroking his arm in a manner that reaffirmed how solid a unit they were.

Jazz stared down at the necklace she’d started working through her fingers without noticing. She wanted that kind of unity for herself. And dammit, she would have it. She wasn’t going to give up on her dream of a life with Gray, not after she’d tasted what it could be like to wake up beside him. When push came to shove, nothing else mattered as much.

Not even the band she adored.

“Deacon has a response.” Harper turned to face the room and not-so-lightly pushed on his back to nudge him forward. “Don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He gripped the ends of the towel around his neck. “You have my support, pix. Always. You and Gray both do.”

She didn’t dare breathe. Her sternum felt too tight, as if it couldn’t possibly hold the bubble of relief and joy expanding inside her. “Really? You mean it?”

He nodded. “I mean it.”

“Thank you. Oh God, thanks.” Jazz scrambled off the bed and launched herself at him, hanging on as he raised her off the ground and made her giggle.

“I see London, I see France, I see someone isn’t wearing any underpants,” Simon sang from the bed.

With a yelp, Jazz extricated herself and ran out the door to her own room. Laughing the whole way.

Once inside her suite, she slumped against the closed door and let the happy tears come. She couldn’t help herself.

Now everyone in the band had given them their blessing but Nick. That would be a little trickier for more reason than one, but she hoped that he would eventually be on her side if not hers and Gray’s. Maybe they could actually make this work.