Reading Online Novel

Twisted(129)



“Then you decided the three of us getting naked together was a smart idea.”

“Technically you decided that. I don’t recall getting undressed first.”

“Can you blame me? I never thought I’d get you undressed, ever. Even if the fucking Pope had been in the room, I would’ve stripped down to my birthday suit anyway.”

“Back to the Pope,” he muttered. “Seems to be a recurring theme lately.”

“You know what else keeps recurring? You making your mind up for me and deciding you know how I must feel.” She shoved her hands through her disordered hair. “By the way, your track record in that department sucks.”

He had to smile. “Tell me how you really feel, honey.”

“Fine.” She stared him dead in the eye and held up her left hand. “I want to marry you. Now. No more bullshit. No more waiting.”

His heart leapt and for an instant, he nearly agreed. The words were right there in his throat, aching to be spoken. But at the last moment, he lowered his head.

“Okay then,” she said, sounding more defeated than he’d ever heard her. She tossed off the sheet and threw her legs over the side of the bed. “That answers that.”

“Wait.” He squeezed her shoulder. “It’s not about me not wanting to marry you.”

“Then what?”

“It’s that I’m not in a place to make that decision. Honestly, neither are you. We’ve been together such a short time, and I’m a fucking mess. I’m going to get to the other side, but I’m not there yet. Anyone would tell us we’re insane to consider a move this huge without making sure we have a firm foundation underneath us first.”

“Anyone isn’t us, and they haven’t lived holding their breath for years like we have. I believe in you.”

“You haven’t even asked me what happened.” He rubbed the heel of his hand over his sore ribs. “If I relapsed or blew the money Lila gave me or some combination of the two.”

“I have my theories. If you ever doubted whether I want bling more than you, don’t. There’s no bling in this world that could make up for one iota of the terror I felt that night.”

His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll never be as sorry as I am, because it took both of us to arrive where we are.” Squarely, she met his gaze. “Whatever happened, I trust you and I don’t doubt for a second that you’re going to kick this addiction. I may be naïve. I may be the biggest dummy going. But no one will ever accuse me of not putting one hundred percent of my faith in you.”

“God, baby…I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t write an ode to me yet.” She stuck her tiny hand in his face. “If you relapse or get yourself hurt again for any goddamn reason, I swear to God, I will fucking kick your ass harder than those thugs ever did. I will make it my life’s work to bring you pain.”

He laughed and kissed her palm. “You make it sound so simple. I wish it was.”

“Here we go again.” She sighed heavily. “Have your existential crisis some other day, all right? I’m not feeling too hot.”

“But—” He broke off. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just some stupid nausea. Probably a side effect of having lunch with a drug dealer and getting dumped before dinner.”

“Why would you be nauseous? Do you have the flu?”

“If I do, it’s lasting a long time. It started the day you went missing.”

“That was almost a week ago.”

“Yeah.” She dug her bra out from under the pillow. How it had ended up there, he had no clue. “Whatever. I’m going to go lie down. I’m too tired to argue anymore today. If leaving is your way of throwing yourself on your sword for being human, then that’s your choice.”

“Jazz.” He grabbed her arm and somehow managed not to howl.

She stopped fumbling with her bra clasp. “What?”

His pulse kicked up. “Could you be pregnant?”

“Of course not.”

“Have you gotten your period recently?”

Pressing her lips together, she yanked up her bra straps and bent to pull on her panties. She remained in a crouched position longer than necessary, her head lowered. She was breathing loudly enough for him to hear. Almost wheezing.

He leaned over to look at her. “What are you doing?”

“Having a panic attack.” She peered up at him. “Do you mind?”

There was absolutely no reason in the world to laugh. Less than none. Yet it tore out of his chest and echoed in the room until she gave in and joined him, wiping her eyes as she rose to sit next to him on the bed.