Recognition dawned in his eyes and he jerked to his feet. “Why would you have lunch with Cricket? Or go anywhere near her?”
“Maybe I wanted a hit.” She walked forward and slammed her hands on his chest, pushing him backward into the frame of the bed. “Ever think of that? Maybe I thought I should try it too,” she said, pushing him again.
Too late she remembered his injuries. Fury burned in her, almost squelching out the fear. Beneath both simmered more love than she had any clue what to do with.
He didn’t move, but the wildness in his eyes revealed the extent of his anguish. “No.”
“Yes. I want to know what made you go that far. I want to feel that high that’s worth throwing everything else away.”
“I didn’t have anything else.” His voice lifted to match hers and he moved forward, going toe-to-toe with her. “I’d lost you, when I’d never even had you. All I’d gotten was a taste I had to share. What the fuck did I have?”
“How about these?” She yanked on his wrist. “You create beautiful things with these hands and this heart.” She jammed her fingers into his chest. “Inside you, there’s more music than anyone I’ve ever known. And you don’t even hear it. You don’t see what I see every time I look at you.”
“What?” he roared, getting in her face.
“I see the sweetest, smartest, sexiest boy I’ve ever known. He’s a man now, but when I look into his eyes, I’m a girl again and he’s a boy. I never truly got to be a child or to stop watching over my shoulder, but with him, I did. Because he stood back to back with me every day. Not in front of me. Not shielding me. I just wanted someone to hold my hand.” She panted out the rest. “I wanted it to be you.”
He closed his fingers around her wrist and tugged it up to his mouth, pressing his lips to the center of her palm. “I let you down.”
“Don’t you dare say that.” Tears blinded her as she shoved him once more, incapable of staying still long enough for his words to sink in. She couldn’t allow them to travel deep enough that she couldn’t dig them out again. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known. I want to marry you, and have babies with you, and grow old with you. I won’t let you keep me from getting what I deserve.” She rained punches over his torso, not fully conscious of where her blows were landing. She’d just add this to her list of regrets later. “I won’t back down. Not this time.”
He caught her fists and pulled them up his chest, dragging her hands around his neck. Then he hauled her up in his arms, groaning loudly and swaying with enough force that she thought they’d end up on the ground. Somehow he maintained his hold on her and she held on to him, wrapping her legs around his waist monkey-style until he toppled them both to the bed. At the last second she tried to brace his shoulder but he groaned again anyway, his face going white for an instant before she crushed her mouth to his and offered him her breath.
She didn’t expect him to respond. The guy was in agony. But his hands drove into her hair, turning her head the way he needed it, and his tongue stroked over hers, plunging deep. Feeding on her as if he was starving to death and she represented his last opportunity to sate his hunger. She gave him back as good as she got, biting his lower lip, sucking his tongue, pulling on his hair. He freed a hand to push under her top and she reared back to undo his jeans, her hands stilling at the soft but audible click of the door being shut.
She slid a glance sideways and yep, one of their bandmates had closed the door. Probably the one currently laughing like a loon in the hallway.
“Simon,” she muttered, shaking her head. She glanced at Gray and found him grinning up at her, his amusement almost enough to disguise the leftover pain etched on his features.
He was hurt yet she’d whaled on him, and pushed him, and now she was sitting on him. She started to move away but he grabbed her arm, settling her directly over his definitely-not-ailing dick. “Stay put, freedom fighter.”
It should’ve pissed her off to have their argument tossed back in her face. But it was hard to get too annoyed when she couldn’t stop rubbing against his rigid cock like a cat in heat. “You’re injured.”
“And I know how you can take care of me.”
She couldn’t help laughing at his lecherous tone. “Well then, far be it from me not to…serve.”
She shimmied down his body to peel off his jeans and boxers, yanking them down his thighs. She wasted no time in sliding her mouth over the head of his cock, then pleasured his shaft with slow swipes of her tongue. Getting him nice and wet. She traveled lower and buried her face in his groin while she nipped and teased his flesh. She toyed with his balls, rolling them between her lips, giving them both equal treatment, before licking his length right up to the swollen tip.