Twist--A Dive Bar Novel(2)
“Hi.” Lydia’s lips thinned in surprise. “Huh.”
“If I’m a crazy person, how would I know these things?” I turned back to Eric, my own hands sitting on my own damn hips. “How would I know that you went to school with most of these guys? That you only lived a couple of streets away from each other when you were kids?”
Eric’s mouth opened but nothing came out.
“Oh my God.” A familiar gorgeous, dark-skinned woman with a head full of corkscrew curls stepped forward. “Are you one of those psychics? Mom’s always watching that shit on TV. I never believed before, but…”
“Nah, she’s a stalker,” said Eric. “Got to be. I was bound to pick one up eventually.”
“I am not a stalker.” Given how tight my fingers were rolled up into fists, however, I might soon very well be accused of assault and battery.
“Do me,” said the dark-skinned waitress. “Who am I?”
“You’re Rosie, one of the waitresses here.”
“Got it in one!” Rosie smiled. “Can you tell me anything about my future?”
“I’m sorry. I’m really not psychic.”
“Oh.” Her smile turned upside down. “That sucks.”
“What’s going on?” asked a deep, booming voice from behind us.
I spun, staring straight into the startled eyes of a man who could only be described as a blond Bigfoot, a case of beer casually hoisted on one enormous shoulder. His golden mane flowed down over his wide shoulders, a beard covering the bottom half of his face. I guess it kept him warm in the winter, but seriously. Who needed that much hair?
“Hi, bro, welcome to the crazy.” Eric slapped the big man on the back. “You didn’t happen to send me a psychic stripper for my birthday, did you?”
Dark shocked eyes fixed on me. Joe. It was his brother Joe, of course. The man was just a whole lot bigger in the flesh than I’d ever imagined. Not that I’d spent a lot of time imagining him or anything.
“What?” He shook his bearded head at Eric in confusion. “No. Of course not.”
“A stripper?” I asked in disbelief. “Seriously?”
Eric’s gaze went straight to my shoes. “You got to admit, those are some serious heels.”
He had a point. Still, I highly doubted I looked like the kind of woman who wore pasties at parties on a regular basis. Let alone as if I had any dancing skills or could even attempt to climb a pole.
“All right, enough,” ordered Nell. “I think this poor girl might be the victim of identity theft.”
I froze.
“Look, ah … obviously something’s up here. Why don’t we take this into the back office?” said Joe. “Somewhere a little more private. We don’t want to embarrass her.”
“I think I’ve pretty much reached peak embarrassment overload,” I said, giving him a forced smile. “But thanks.”
Strange, the man’s skin, the bits visible, at least, had turned a kind of ashen color. He honestly looked ready to hurl at any moment. That or faint.
“You okay, man?” asked Vaughan, also noticing.
“Yeah, yeah. Never better.” It was a wonder the guy’s pants didn’t catch on fire. Even I could tell that one was a blatant lie.
“So you’ve never met Eric in the flesh before?” Nell asked. “Only online.”
I nodded. “Yes. We only ever swapped emails.”
With a pained look, Nell came closer, lowering her voice. “It couldn’t have been Eric. I’m pretty sure he couldn’t even find a computer’s on switch, let alone write actual emails on a regular basis. It took him forever just to learn how to spell his own name.”
Eric screwed up his forehead. “Hey. That’s beside the point.”
“Shush.” Nell waved a hand at him. “I doubt it was him who set up the account on this dating site at all.”
“I did set up the account,” said Eric, distinctly unimpressed. “For fuck’s sake, Nell. Stop acting like my half of the baby is going to be dumber than your half. It’s not.”
“Do not call my baby ‘it,’” warned Nell, poking him in the chest with a finger.
And suddenly it was all clear to me. It was all horribly, perfectly clear.
“That’s your baby?” I asked the sleazoid male standing in front of me. “It is any wonder you’re pretending you don’t know me? God. You asshole. All of those things you said to me and meanwhile, you’re playing house with her.”
“What?” Eric’s “you’re crazy” look tripled. “No. I … shit. Joe helped me set up that stupid dating account and then I pretty much forgot about it. Didn’t need it. So I told Joe…”
Silence.
“Joe,” Eric repeated. Then he blinked and turned to his brother.
Nell too turned to face the big blond guy.
Joe squirmed under their gaze. He had that look about him as if he wanted an emergency trapdoor beneath him to disappear into.
“You email her, bro?” asked Eric.
“Yeah.” And the blond Bigfoot did not look happy about it. “Yeah, I … we’ve been talking for a while. We know each other.”
“No, we don’t.” I frowned at the man who was most definitely not my type. His brother? Yes. But him? Nuh-uh. “I know Eric, not you.”
Bigfoot sighed.
I pointed an accusing finger at the beautiful dark-haired man of my dreams. “That’s the guy who was in the profile photo. The one I basically bared my heart to. Not you. I don’t know who you are.”
“Let me explain.” Joe/Bigfoot’s gaze intensified, focused wholly on me. His dark brown eyes were so earnest, as if he could will me to understand this shit storm. “I read your message and … I don’t know. You seemed like someone—”
“You could lie to?”
“No.” He dragged a hand across his face. “Fuck. You were so funny and real and—”
“Real?” I could only shake my head, taking another step back.
“Yes. Real. At first I was just helping out my brother. Trying to get him interested in someone nice for a change. Someone who had more to recommend them than the size of their breasts.” His gaze dipped to my uplifted, yet still extremely modest, chest and panic flashed across his face. “Not that you’re not—”
“Don’t even bother.”
“But then I started to get to know you better and you were someone I could really talk to.” The side-eyes he gave the assembled crowd were purely sheepish. “I guess I was lonely. I don’t know.”
Aw, was the poor asshole embarrassed? My heart bled for him.
“But it was Eric you’d reached out to, so…”
“So?”
The man said nothing.
“Are you actually trying to tell me that your motives were pure? Seriously?” All I could do was shake my head. In wonder or horror, I don’t even know. “I believed in you and you were nothing but a lie. All along, just lies.”
His lips firmed. “That’s not true. I’m your friend.”
“Bullshit. A friend would never do this.”
Murmurs circled from the people gathered round. And seriously, whatever this was, fuck it. Fuck Eric, Joe, all of mankind, the Internet, and all of my hopes and dreams. I was running straight back to my apartment and staying put. I retreated another step, my butt bumping the back of a chair. It made the most awesome crashing noise as it toppled over, hitting the floor. “Shit. Sorry. I, um…”
The faces surrounding me blurred and a rushing noise filled my head. Christ. All those personal, deeply private things I’d told him. How honest I’d been. But I was just one more stupid girl dreaming of love and a life that was somehow larger. There was nothing for me here.
Time to go.
I turned and made straight for my suitcase. Grabbing the plastic handle, I ran back out the door, the cold night air like a well-earned slap in the face. Out on the sidewalk I tripped in the stupid shoes. Then I continued. I walked faster and faster, putting as much distance as possible between me and the whole debacle.
My case rattled and rolled over the asphalt. From top to toe I felt numb. Nonexistent. The first few drops of rain should have passed right through me instead of soaking into the cotton of my borrowed dress.
“Alex,” a voice yelled from behind me. A male voice. Him.
It only spurred me onward. No cars or signs of life ahead. The whole world seemed to have emptied out. There was just me, that voice, and the storm.
God, I’d been so wrong to come here. So damn wrong.
What the hell had I done?
CHAPTER TWO
Heterosexual female age 29.
Graphic Artist. Works from home.
Seattle born and bred.
Enjoys reading romance, watching action, sci-fi, and horror movies, and shows about building renovations.
No pets unless the squirrel in the tree outside counts. His name is Marty.
Most prized possession is my laptop. All of my work is on there. Except the backup USB I’ve entrusted to Marty.
Most proud of establishing and running my own graphic design business.
In five years’ time I see myself further developing my business, investing in a property, and dabbling in renovating.
Looking for someone who is employed, artistic, neat and attractive, has a sense of humor.