“That part of the reason you were interested in Eric in the first place?” he asked.
A question far too canny for my comfort. I was Bambi frozen in headlights. Just waiting for the semi-trailer to mow my fluffy ass on down.
“Alex?” he asked. “Is it? He was a safe person to be interested in, right? He might come to town but he’d leave again too. Didn’t require you moving far out of your comfort zone.”
“True.” Wow, the man really had me figured. Though I guess I had given him all of the ammunition.
A nod from him.
Christ, I should never have gotten caught up in Val’s excitement and come to Coeur d’Alene. It would have been kinder to both Joe and me. Then I would have had his emails for a little longer. The thrill of receiving them. The sense of hope at finding a kindred spirit, of not being quite so alone.
Hold up. I liked alone. Alone was easy and exactly what I wanted, wasn’t it? Shit. There were no easy answers in my head anymore. No certainty at all.
Soon as I got back to Seattle I was resetting my dating profile to local matches only. Who knows, maybe I’d stop messing around and actually attempt a real relationship instead of just bumping hips with someone now and then. Stranger things had happened. Perhaps I could change after all.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I went for a walk earlier. There were a few places down the road that looked nice.”
“I’ve got somewhere in mind. Put your shoes and coat on, please, Little Miss Fucking Sunshine.” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them. “We’re getting out of here.”
“On it.” I fell upon my boots, shoving in my feet at lightning speed. What Valerie would have paid to see me actually rushing to get outside. My mild agoraphobia thingy was on hold. And to think it had only taken a small dose of the black plague and a couple of days trapped in a soulless hotel room.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Message sent three months ago:
Hi Eric,
You’ll be pleased to know I left my apartment today. It was my dad’s birthday. Ever since I was little, mom, dad, and I always go down to Pike Place to see the guys at the fish market do their thing throwing the fish around. It’s pretty cool to see. We go buy salmon to cook for dad. It’s the family tradition. My friend Valerie and her partner also came. It was busy as always at the market, but a lot of fun. My folks even managed to play nice with each other.
Valerie is a stylist and make-up artist. We pretty much grew up together so she’s basically family too. Neither of us were exactly part of the cool kid crowd at school. She’s a trans woman and had it rough for a long time, way worse than me getting my ponytail pulled and crap like that. Kids can be incredibly horrible to each other. But then I guess grown-ups can be too. All of the shit going on in politics at the moment makes me despair.
Ugh. Excuse my bad mood. I think I need to eat some ice cream or something. Anyway, work is busy. Lots of interesting projects. How are things going with you? What have you been up to this week?
A x
Message received three months ago:
What’s your poison? I’m a mint choc-chip man, myself.
Message sent three months ago:
Mint? No. NO. Mint is the devil’s work. I’m a chocolate chip cookie dough woman to the end.
Message received three months ago:
Haha. Of course you are. And I’m going to ignore you misunderstanding mint. It just means we’ll never have to share the ice cream. Probably for the best. Good to hear you had a nice time with your family and Valerie. Pike Place Markets are cool. I haven’t been there in ages.
Spent a few days with an old school friend named Pat. I might have mentioned some good friends have been going through a divorce. Pat’s been having a rough time with it so we went camping. Built fires. Drank bourbon. Hugged trees and beat our manly chests. That sort of thing. It was good to get away for a bit.
I’m sorry to hear you and Valerie had a tough time in school. Kids can be cruel. I was never exactly one of the cool kids either. Of course my brother was. He loved showing off about all his girlfriends and generally being a little shit. But I had my growth spurt early so no one else tended to mess with me.
If anyone pulls on your ponytail who shouldn’t be, you let me know. I’ll come teach them some manners.
Eric
“Maybe I should head back to the hotel,” I said.
Joe looked at me across the table, his face visibly pained. Poor guy. His agony was so acute the facial hair couldn’t even hide his expression, for once. I was hoping his eyes were glossy from wincing, not actual tears. Given the situation, however, it was kind of hard to tell. Nell had really gone all out in her championing of Joe and the belief that I should give him a second chance in the something more than friends stakes. In fact, she’d gone so far out, you could safely say she’d fallen off the edge.
“I don’t blame you.” He sighed, leaning forward. Shadows danced across his face, as the candle between us flickered. “I’m really sorry about this, Alex.”
“Not your fault. I know.”
“I can’t believe this romantic bullshit. They’re out of fucking control.”
“Nell and your friends are certainly something.”
Determined or insane, it was kind of hard to tell which category his friends and fellow staff-members fell under. Sure as hell they were certainly convinced that Joe and I were in the throes of some sort of epic love affair. And, bless them, they were doing everything within their power to enhance that for us by going to town on the Dive Bar’s atmosphere. Though some of them seemed more on the side of Satan than love.
I’m not going to lie. It was a painful experience.
Joe slumped back in his chair, delivering dirty looks to the rest of the room’s occupants. Well, all except for a couple seated at the bar and a family of three across the way. If anything, the couple seemed mildly amused. Nice for them. The teenager, though, appeared to be acting out a series of slow deaths over at his table. At least, I hoped he was. It would be sad if the kid were actually trying to stab himself in the head with a fork.
Suddenly, the lighting dimmed yet again. If it weren’t for the red candles scattered about the room, we’d be sitting completely in the dark.
“For fuck’s sake,” Joe muttered. Not meeting my eyes.
All of this supposed ardor, care of his friends, had squashed the easy-going flirting from last night, murdering it with hyper-awareness and embarrassment. Ironic, really; in attempting to help they’d killed our innocent little fledgling attraction. Knocked it right out of the nest.
Over on the small stage in the corner, Vaughan, the dude singing and playing guitar wound up his delightful rendition of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” to rousing applause. Eric, standing behind the bar, our friendly blond waitress, Lydia, and the kitchen staff seemed most ecstatic. Meanwhile, the teenager started making choking noises as he apparently tried to strangle himself over at his table. His parents should probably look at putting him into drama. The kid had talent.
“Now I’d like to play an old favorite of mine for you,” announced Vaughan. Just like Joe, his skin was covered in ink. Not that I could make out what the tattoos were. “A little something by that great Canadian artist, Bryan Adams. ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It for You.’”
More applause from the kitchen staff. A wolf whistle from Lydia. Vaughan just smiled and started playing again. He too had talent. If only he’d use his powers for good instead of evil.
“I told them we were just friends,” repeated Joe about the hundredth time.
“I know.”
It seemed when it came to the Dive Bar, I was doomed to experience nothing but embarrassment and awkwardness. Death and dismemberment. Things like that. And the way Eric and everyone kept watching us only made it worse. My shoulders crept in, a weak wall between me and all of them.
Not good.
“The place looks great,” I said, determined to at least attempt salvaging the evening. And it really did. Exposed brickwork mixed with large beautiful old-fashioned windows. All of the tabletops were shining dark wood with metal legs and chairs to match. The Dive Bar was seriously cool despite the playing of bad old rock ballads, and worse.
“Thanks.” Joe did a great hangdog face. Sad eyes. Cranky lines. He had it all.
“I love that you left some of the old band and beer posters up.”
“This place has been the Dive Bar for a long time,” he said, perking up a little. “Used to be owned by our friend’s dad. He was into live music and everything. Started the place in the late seventies, I think.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. Andre Senior was a real local icon.” He tipped his chin in the general direction of the bar. “Used to encourage people to cut their initials into the bar. We just shined it up a little and sealed it over. The area behind the bar needed some major work, though.”
Neat shelves full of liquor bottles covered the wall with a line of beer and cider taps below. All of it nicely lit by hidden down lights.
“The old man went through a nasty velvet wallpaper and mirrored tile stage,” said Joe. “Took me ages to get all of that shit pulled down.”
“Tell me the tiles were on the ceiling.”
“All over it. And in the women’s bathroom. But not the men’s.”