Sadi didn’t know anything anymore. She didn’t understand this thing that her life had become, shapeless and faceless. She knew she wanted Connor to come home. She knew that she still loved him. Had probably always known. With all her heart she wanted another chance. Sadi wanted to make a life with Connor, to trust him and love him and cherish him. All those things she promised when she married him. She just didn’t know how to get from where they were now to where she wanted to be: happy and in love again.
***
Connor refused to speak with Sadi. He wouldn’t talk about what happened. He wouldn’t talk about anything. He remained grim. The only time Sadi saw him smile was when he was with the children.
“Connor, we need to talk,” Sadi said urgently. It was a Wednesday night. Connor had been gone from the house for a little over two months. She was becoming desperate to salvage their relationship, especially with the new knowledge she had.
Connor looked up from his spot on the nursery floor where he was building block towers almost as quickly as the two children could destroy them. He seemed to sense the urgency in Sadi’s voice so he nodded.
They put the children to bed together, which was unusual. Often Connor ended up wishing them a goodnight and leaving, back to wherever it was he stayed.
Sadi followed him down the hall and into the kitchen. Connor turned, arms crossed.
“What is it?”
Sadi hated that there was a bitterness to his voice that hadn’t been there before. Why wouldn’t he just speak with her? God, she wanted so badly to apologize and make things right. But he denied her at every turn. It was as if wanted to punish her like she had seemingly punished him.
“I’m pregnant,” Sadi whispered. She felt hot tears choke her throat. She couldn’t believe it was possible. It had been one time. She had Connor hadn’t had sex in months so she had gone off her pills. She wasn’t a fan and didn’t see the point in taking them if there was no risk. She had been so drunk the night Connor had come over that she had forgotten all about them.
“Damn it, Sadi,” Connor hissed. He uncrossed his arms and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “How could you let this happen? This is all I need…. Are you sure it’s mine?”
Sadi stared at Connor in shock. Who was this man? Certainly not the kind, loving husband who had rejoiced over the creation of life and their children. Certainly not the man who loved her.
“Connor… I… of course it’s yours!”
Sadi was too shocked to be angry. What kind of question was that? Connor didn’t wait around for her to say anything else. Instead he grabbed his jacket off the kitchen chair and stormed out of the house, letting the door bang shut behind him.
Sadi felt betrayed in the worst way. She had no idea what was going to happen to her and the children, especially now that they were to have another one. She felt lost and alone, confused and frightened. Her heart ached. She wanted Connor, needed him. She felt as though had walked out of her life for the last time and it broke her heart completely.
Sadi was devastated. She had no one to turn to. No close friends, no parent, no sibling. She was alone most of the time, looking after two small children, all the while, a third life growing within her. Her life was completely shattered. She hadn’t heard from Connor in days.
Finally Sadi called the only person she knew she could turn to. She called Christine.
Christine came over without hesitation. Sadi thought it would be awkward, being as Christine was now Luke’s fiancé, but it wasn’t at all. Christine opened her arms to Sadi and Sadi told her everything. It was good to have a friend there to comfort her, to tell her that everything was going to be alright. It was so nice to have an extra set of hands with the children. Sadi was exhausted.
“Let’s turn on the TV,” Christine suggested. “Maybe we can find a show they can watch to give us a half hour break.”
Sadi smiled. Even though Christine was a teacher, it seemed that Connor and Katelyn could tire out even the most experienced.
Sadi switched on the big screen TV. She thought it was way too huge but Connor had insisted on buying it. Sadi was shocked to see the images on the screen. Why had she left the news channel on? She hated watching it. She saw the images of Pearson and Pearson flash across. There had been a fire. Unknown damages.
The day of the bombing came back to Sadi in a rush. Her terrible fear that her finance was dead. The sickening worry that knifed through her as she drove to the hospital. The terrible loss and regret and helplessness that she felt.
It all came rushing back now. Sadi saw Christine freeze.
“We have to get there,” Christine said.