She was surprised to see him standing on the doorstep, a bottle of wine in hand. What the hell? The last thing she had on her mind was date night. Connor hadn’t even been able to speak civilly to her in over a month.
“Yes?” She asked icily, opening the door a crack. She hated that her hurt and lingering anger made her impatient and cold towards Connor, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. Connor had rejected any attempt Sadi had made to fix things. She had tried to speak with him, had written him a long email trying to explain her feelings… all of them… but he hadn’t even responded. She had tried to get him to come back home but he had refused.
“Sadi… I thought… maybe I could come in and we could talk for a bit?”
“Oh. You just thought that. What makes you think you can just show up here unannounced and have a conversation that I’ve been trying to have with you for over a month?”
Connor sighed and turned to leave. Sadi watched his retreating form. She felt a mixture of panic and regret, especially when she thought about Connor Jr.. and Katelyn, who were inside, playing on the nursery floor, half dressed in their pajamas for the night.
“Connor wait,” Sadi called.
He turned and looked at her. His grey blue eyes were storm tossed with emotion. Sadi opened the door a crack wider. She turned around and went inside but didn’t shut it.
She could hear Connor enter when she went down the hall to the nursery. She knew that he wouldn’t follow her in. He didn’t want to upset the children right before bed.
Finally Sadi had both kids laid down and asleep. It wasn’t a small feat and she was exhausted by the time she returned to the living room to face Connor.
He had poured two glasses of wine and set them on the coffee table. She wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. Sadi wouldn’t have ranked wine as a high priority in the conversation they needed to have. Whisky seemed more appropriate.
“Do you want me to come back home?” Connor asked as Sadi sat down.
Sadi started. She reached for a glass of wine and downed it an alarming rate. She set her glass aside and nodded slowly. “Yes, but I think we need to talk first.”
Connor nodded as well. “I know.”
Sadi didn’t know where to start. What was she supposed to say that was going to make anything better? She needed Connor to come back home so they could try again. Just simply stating that she wanted to trust him wasn’t going to mean anything if she couldn’t back up her words.
Connor waited. So did Sadi. They both finished another glass of wine, then another. Sadi watched the clock’s hands circle around then around again and still they hadn’t said anything.
Finally Connor shifted. He set his glass down, stood up, and came to sit beside Sadi. To her surprise, he opened his arms to her. She fell into them. She realized that she was more than a little drunk. And so was Connor.
They made quick work of each other’s clothes. Sadi found that she was almost frantic to be naked. To feel Connor’s skin against her own. She wanted him with a desperation that she had never experienced before. It had been months and months and months since they had made love. They had lived like strangers for a long time before Connor finally packed his bag and left.
Sadi touched Connor hungrily, her fingers memorizing every angle, every line, every muscle. She breathed in the familiar scent of him. Her hands knew all the right places to touch. They still fit together perfectly. That was when she realized she still loved Connor. That she would love him no matter what. She shouldn’t have allowed things to get this far. She should have bridged that gap that was widening between them, not blown up the remaining supports that were still there.
Sadi poured all her sadness, regret, frustration, anger, and even joy into their joining. She gripped Connor, clung to him like she was drowning and his touch would save her. She came again and again, crying out Connor’s name, scoring her nails into his back. She felt like they were united, one in a way they hadn’t been since that horrible night Luke had barged into their bedroom and shattered her world.
Connor lay back on the couch, panting. Sadi lay pressed against his chest, totally spent.
“Stay, Connor,” Sadi whispered.
“I can’t,” he said, already getting up and gathering his clothes.
Sadi stayed where she was, watching in sorrow as he got dressed and grabbed his wallet and phone.
“I’ll call a cab,” he promised, then he was gone.
Cold and self-conscious, Sadi grabbed a throw blanket and tucked it around herself. Her head was pounding. What had just happened? Connor had come over, hardly spoken a word, got drunk, and proceeded to make love to her. Why? Why would he do any of it when he was just going to leave?