“Sadi! I can’t believe you would even think that. What would be the point now? After everything I’ve done to try and make this right. Why would Luke or I want to trick you again? To hurt you, or to hurt Christine? God, Sadi, Luke is engaged to her now. Whatever feelings he had for you are long gone so he has no motivation to try and switch places with me. What do I have to do? Brand myself?”
Sadi watched Connor’s face turn from a normal shade to a red hue. She could tell that he was really angry but trying to restrain it.
“I feel as though I’m the one walking on eggshells. I keep waiting for you to realize that it’s not me you wanted all along but Luke.” Connor studied Sadi. “Do you still have feelings for him Sadi? Is that why you keep walking around thinking we are going to trick you? Because you still want a life with Luke? Is there something going on that I don’t know about? We’re not making love anymore Sadi…. At least you aren’t with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Sadi jumped off the bed angrily. “God, Connor, listen to yourself! Are you asking me if I’m cheating on you?”
“Are you?” Connor shouted. “Are you fucking Luke?”
Sadi didn’t mean for it to happen. She watched in shock as her hand snaked out and struck Connor hard on the left cheek. She stood there, shock and anger and indignation washing over her.
“Get out of here Connor,” Sadi whispered, her breath ragged. “Before something terrible happens that neither of us can take back.”
“With pleasure.” Connor zipped his suitcase shut. “Get your head out of your ass Sadi, before all of this is gone for good.”
Sadi sat down on the edge of the bed. She heard the front door slam, felt hot tears well in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. She wanted to hate Connor at the moment. She wanted to blame him for everything but the hard truth was that she couldn’t. Much of what he had said, at least at the start of the conversation, had been the truth.
Sadi had been hard on him. She hadn’t trusted Connor since that night Luke had regained his memory and she had found out what truly happened. Sadi had made Connor’s life unimaginably difficult. She hadn’t stood by him or supported him or help make things right. She had acted like the injured party. She hadn’t made an attempt to get her life back together. She had pushed Connor away. She was guilty of everything he had accused her of.
Sadi wished that Connor had just left it at that. When he started throwing in the things about her and Luke…. that just made Sadi furious and when she was angry she couldn’t think straight. Her head still buzzed with his unpleasant accusations.
As if Sadi would ever do anything to hurt either Luke or Christine. They were engaged now. Sadi owed Christine a huge debt, or at least she felt like she did, for what Christine had done for her when she needed a friend. Sadi would never in a million years dream of cheating on Connor anyway, let alone with his brother who was now happily engaged to a woman Sadi was honored to call a friend.
Sadi wanted to call Connor’s cell. She wanted to send him a text and apologize. To tell him to come home when he was ready and talk. She felt the snaking tendrils of regret reach out from the bottom of her stomach all the way to her throat. She felt she was going to choke on the mixture of sorrow and regret and pain that were rooted deep within her.
Sadi got her phone but stopped. She stared blankly at the screen. She should let Connor calm down. She could only apologize so far. Best to wait until he was in a rational mood, which he obviously hadn’t been when he was hurling accusations of infidelity around.
Sadi checked to see if the children were still sleeping and somehow, magically they were. She knew she had to make things right if she could. It wasn’t just her anymore. Her children needed their father. She needed Connor.
Sadi crawled into bed alone, feeling miserable. She wanted to tell Connor to come home. To tell him that things would be different. Sadi just couldn’t find the words. She needed it to be the truth when she told Connor. She needed to know that she could trust him beyond the shadow of a doubt. That she could love him for who he truly was. She needed time. More importantly, she needed Connor to agree to give her the time she needed.
chapter 15
Connor wouldn’t agree to come home. He was staying at some hotel and Sadi was so hurt that she didn’t even ask where it was. He had agreed to come visit the children a couple nights a week. Sadi had tried to apologize. She had tried to speak with Connor, but it had gone nowhere.
Sadi was busy getting the children ready for bed when the doorbell rang. She ran to answer it, puzzled as to who it would be. It wasn’t Connor’s night to come over.