Sadi was always watching Connor for some signal that he really wasn’t Connor after all. She didn’t want to believe that he would trick her again. She wanted to believe that he was sorry and that she could trust him, but she just couldn’t.
It hurt Sadi and she could tell that Connor knew that she distrusted him and was hurt as well. They stopped making love. They stopped touching each other. Connor started working more and coming home later and later. Sadi wanted their lives to go back to the way they were, but she was beginning to doubt that would ever happen.
As Sadi and Connor seemed to be floundering, Christine and Luke only seemed to fall deeper in love. Sadi was happy for them. After Luke had resumed his position at the company, Christine had called Sadi in tears. They had met for lunch and Christine had poured out all her fears. She was afraid Luke was going to change and that he was going to leave her. She was afraid she didn’t know what their relationship, their lives, their love meant anymore now that Luke had millions of dollars and was an important head of a booming company.
Sadi had felt much the same way. She and Christine were both in the same position, though their lives were very different. They had both been lied to- though Sadi supposed Luke hadn’t meant to lie to Christine at the time seeing as he couldn’t remember anything.
Sadi had taken to asking Connor to wear a hat when he was around Luke. Even when Luke and Christine came over together, Sadi enforced the rules. She didn’t want to be constantly suspicious but she found that she just couldn’t relax.
chapter 14
Six months passed. Sadi could feel Connor growing more and more frustrated with her. He had taken care of everything, as he said he would. They had purchased a new house together. He had cleared everything up. The family had been the object of extreme scrutiny, even though they had tried to keep what happened private. Somehow the story got out and what a story it was.
Thankfully things died down after a couple weeks and the media frenzy moved on to someone else. Connor had received heavy criticism from some people, and no one fully understood what he had done. Not even Sadi. Connor had tried to protect Sadi from the backlash as much as possible. He had shouldered the brunt of the awful comments and rude remarks that came their way. He had made it his responsibility to make things right with Luke and the company. As much as Connor possibly could.
Sadi came home with the kids one evening after being out at a mother and children swimming class. She gave the kids a snack and put them to bed. Entering her own bedroom, she was shocked to see Connor packing a suitcase. He was pulling things out of his closet like they were going to evaporate if they didn’t somehow land in his suitcase.
“What are you doing?” Sadi asked, confusion and dread coiling in the pit of her stomach.
Connor turned and stared at her. He obviously hadn’t heard her come in, he had been so absorbed in whatever he was doing. He looked guilty and angry.
Sadi watched as he slowly crossed his arms over his chest. “Sadi…. I just can’t take this anymore. I can’t live my life like I’m under an investigation. I know what I did was wrong but our marriage… us… it’s different now than what it was before. I feel like you don’t trust me.”
Sadi didn’t have the heart to tell Connor she didn’t trust him. It hurt her to finally hear him say it. It hurt a hell of a lot more to realize he was leaving. For how long? Did he just need some space or was this finally it? She had known that their lives were leading up to this, careening to a final breaking point but she felt powerless to stop it. Sadi felt a jolt of pain ram through her chest. She didn’t want Connor to leave. She just wasn’t sure that she could ever return to the life they once had.
“Connor…”
Connor held up his hand. “Sadi, I’m not leaving for good, unless you can’t figure things out. I’ve apologized over and over again for what I did. I’ve tried to fix things as much as I possibly could. To make things right with you and with Luke and even with Christine. I’ve taken all the fault and all the blame for this, as obviously I should. My point is that I’ve tried my damn hardest and you haven’t tried at all.”
“That’s not fair,” Sadi protested angrily. She didn’t want her pain to come out as anger but it seemed that it was going to happen that way. “Connor, it’s not my fault that I’ve been walking on eggshells. My whole world came crashing down. God, how do I know that you and Luke aren’t going to try and trick me again? It’s impossible to tell you apart.”
Connor sighed in frustration. He grabbed another shirt out of the closet and rammed it into the suitcase. Sadi resisted the urge to unpack everything and fold it properly. She realized what a stupid thought that was.