“How do I know it’s really you this time?” Sadi asked.
“Because I know my son was born at 4:42am. He weighed eight pounds exactly and came out screaming, letting all the world know he was there. I remember the way you looked, the shock of seeing your son for the first time, that bloom on your cheeks and you said, “Luke, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”
Sadi looked at the ground. “Okay…. I guess I believe you.” She stepped into Connor’s hotel room. She wasn’t sure why he was in the one in the hotel, but then she remembered that they were both imposters in the real Luke’s house. They were the ones without a home now.
Sadi felt groundless and adrift as she took a seat on the edge of the large king size hotel bed. The quilt was white and downy. She placed her hand on it and couldn’t believe she realized how soft it was.
Connor looked up at her. He was still standing in the same spot by the door.
“Why did you do it, Connor? I still can’t believe that all of this is a lie.”
Connor quickly closed the distance between them. “No, Sadi. It’s not a lie. Not our love, not our children, not our life.”
“Connor, I thought you were Luke this entire time! You pretended to be your brother! How can you not say that our life isn’t a lie?”
“Because Sadi, I know what I feel for you. And I know that you feel the same way, no matter who I am. I know that you’re angry but we can get through this.”
Sadi just sat and stared at the floor. She refused to meet Connor’s eyes even though she wanted to.
“I explained to Luke why I did what I did. I’m sure he told you Sadi that he was cheating on you. I knew that he wasn’t the right person for you. It was true that I did see you first, at Pearson and Pearson. I even spoke with you first. I told Luke about you. This beautiful new girl who was so excited for the boring job. I never thought he would take an interest. You weren’t his type. But then you changed and all of a sudden you were his type, and that was it for me I guess. It was all Luke after that. I tried not to be jealous Sadi. I really tried to be happy for you. For years I told myself that if you loved Luke and he loved you, then you deserved to be happy.
Then Luke confessed everything to me. He had been at my house late and we had a couple beers, and maybe a couple glasses of Scotch as well. He told me that he wasn’t happy and that he was cheating on you. He hated himself for it but the thought of getting married- to anyone- filled him with fear. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just turn you out of his house with nowhere to go, and he hated himself for being a coward and for being unfaithful to you.
I hated that he took someone I loved and hurt them without them even knowing it. I knew that he was going to break up with you Sadi. I told him he better bloody well find you a nice home and make sure you had a good reference for a new job. Just because he acted like a scumbag didn’t mean you had to suffer for it.
I knew Luke was working on it… doing what I asked. Then the bombing happened. I remembered stumbling my way out of the building, then nothing. When I woke up, I wasn’t sure who I was for a moment. I had a nurse asking me if I was Connor or Luke Pearson, as someone had recognized me when I was brought into the hospital. I knew within a couple moments that I was Connor and I kept asking after Luke.
I knew he hadn’t been brought in yet. I had hit my head pretty hard, the nurse told me. Maybe it made me think crazy thoughts. Or maybe, just maybe, I saw that there was a chance that I could spare you a lot of heartbreak. If I pretended to be my brother, just maybe I could give you the chance at happiness that you deserved.
I know I was selfish, Sadi. I know what I did was wrong and pretty crazy when you really think about it. I know that what I did, I did because I loved you and I had loved you for years. It was wrong and I can’t imagine the pain you are going through right now.
After the bombing though, Sadi, I saw you change as well. I realized maybe you hadn’t been happy with Luke either. I saw you start to fall in love with me, even though you thought I was Luke. I felt it when we finally made love. When we got married, I couldn’t have been happier. I knew beyond a doubt that your love was real. When we had Connor, Sadi, you can’t imagine how happy you made me. And then Katelyn: our whole lives have been a dream.”
“That’s just it Connor,” Sadi said sadly. “It was a dream. A very nice dream. And now I feel like we’ve woken up and this is the reality.”
Connor grabbed Sadi’s hand and she surprised herself by not pulling away. “It’s always been real Sadi. What you felt. Does it matter that my name isn’t Luke? You said after the bombing it was like I was a new man. A new man, Sadi. Someone completely different. And you loved me anyway. I’m sorry that I did what I did, but I can’t change it. I wouldn’t want to change it. I couldn’t live without your love, without our children. You are everything to me.”