Chapter 1
Sadi sat in the black leather high back chair, watching the news as the chemical in her hair set under the dryer. God knew she hated going through this every couple weeks, but Luke liked blonde hair. She had heard that as a passing comment when she had been little more than an admin assistant at his company, Pearson and Pearson.
Sadi had set her sights on the boss and she wasn't going to stop until she had him. She had died her hair blonde, spent what little money she had on better, more expensive clothing which fit her just right. She had used her long legs and curves for all they were worth. She had started working out four times a week and drinking more water. And she had dyed her long auburn hair a platinum blonde that she had always hated on other women.
Apparently whatever she had done had worked. Luke Pearson had noticed her within a couple days of the transformation. He had stopped in front of her desk, arms crossed across his chest, grinning that familiar Pearson grin which never failed to make Sadi’s heart stop.
She frowned. At least it never used to fail. Now.... she was engaged to a successful, wealthy, attractive man. The rock on her finger cost more than what most people made in a year. She had a huge house complete with a pool, tennis court, and sauna, a black sports car and a red one too, a personal trainer, a dietician, a hair stylist, a personal shopper, a cook, and a cleaner. She didn't have to do a damn thing if she didn't want to.
Sadi picked up a magazine and glanced at it absently. She wondered why none of those things made her happy anymore. They had at the beginning. She had loved when Luke courted her, taking her out to expensive restaurants, fancy clubs, plays and shows. She had loved his house and all his cars, the giant pool in the backyard, and the fact she never had to cook or clean or grocery shop if she didn't feel like it. She didn’t even have to work.
She used to have a purpose beyond getting herself to her latest appointment. She didn't even have to do that if she didn't want to do so. They had a driver who would take her. She supposed she could use her upcoming wedding to give her life meaning, but even that fell flat, just like her relationship.
Lately she and Luke hadn’t had the spark they used to have. They hadn't made love in months. Sadi still found Luke attractive. He was tall with a physique to die for. All the time Luke spent working out had left him with a god-like physique. Well toned muscles, rock hard abs. His sandy blonde hair and grey blue eyes topped everything off.
He ate healthy and his skin glowed. He still looked like a god to Sadi, yet they hadn't so much as touched each other in weeks. He had seemed too busy with work to even notice her. At least Sadi assumed that’s what kept him busy. She hadn't asked about his hobbies or his business in a very long time, though she used to work at Pearson and Pearson and she should have cared.
Luke used to plan getaways for the two of them, little romantic liaisons stolen when his demanding schedule would allow, but even those had faded into the background as well.
Sadi missed the man Luke used to be. She flipped a page in the magazine and stared at the shiny lipstick covering the perfect model’s lips on the glossy paper in front of her. It wasn’t right to put the blame all on Luke. If Sadi were honest with herself, she missed the woman she used to be. She knew it was true what everyone said. That money couldn't bring you happiness. It could buy you nice things and give you a comfortable life, but it left a hollow spot in her chest that she couldn’t seem to fill.
She watched the bad news images flash across the TV screen in the corner, and shifted uncomfortably in her chair under the dryer, the smell of chemicals burning her nose. No wonder they made her scalp itch and burn like fire. The stuff felt completely toxic.
Setting the magazine aside, Sadi thought about her upcoming wedding. She knew deep down inside that she should break off her engagement to Luke. He was a good man and she liked to think she was a good person as well. Lately though, she doubted it.
She knew she wasn't happy, but she was unwilling to go back to a one bedroom apartment and a minimum wage job. Getting engaged to Luke had been like winning the lottery. Sadi just wished she could find some light in the current darkness in which she was stumbling around.
Part of her wanted to marry Luke because at one time she had loved him. Then there was the other, far less proud part of herself that selfishly wanted to be looked after. Sadi hated that weak part of herself. Hated that she had been raised in squalor and poverty and feared going back to it like she had never feared anything in her life.
Sadi thought the one thing that could save her if she married Luke was to have children. She could live for them. Raise them and love them, even if she no longer loved Luke. Many people stayed married long after the spark faded. People lived together unhappily for years and it wasn’t like there was a noticeable rift between them yet. Luke had never said he wanted children. The thought made Sadi sad. She loved babies. Maybe she could find a way to change Luke’s mind. Likely he would give her what she wanted if it came down to it. He always had before.