And she couldn't even share her misery with her twin. She couldn't ever explain to Mianna what had happened. Not about Lyall, not about her magic, none of it. Mianna wouldn't even begin to understand. Everyone was so convinced magic was evil, that if she even suggested she could do magic …
They reached the edge of the newly dug grave, and the silence was oppressive as their mother's body was lowered into it. Terion stepped forwards, next to Mianna, and took her hand. Mianna dropped Brianna's hand to turn and sob her distress into his shoulder.
Loneliness washed over her, standing alone in a crowd of people. Her twin had a husband, a lover. She had no one-no one's hand to hold, no one's shoulder to cry on.
Tears slid down her cheeks as she looked at her mother's body, the thud of the first clump of dirt hitting it loud in the silence.
Loud sobs broke out nearby and a baby's wail split the air. Brianna glanced over to see Sari on her knees next to an open grave, her baby in her arms, as she cried over the body being lowered. Breck. A strong and capable warrior. They hadn't even made it to their second anniversary, or their baby's first birthday.
There was nothing but sadness here on the ridge.
Why had she come back? Why did any of them stay in the first place?
A woman stepped forwards and cradled Sari in her arms, rocking her back and forth in an attempt to give comfort. Someone else took the baby and soothed it quietly.
Corlin stepped forwards and put his hand on Brianna's shoulder in a silent show of support. Mianna slipped an arm around her from the other side, still holding Terion's hand.
She wasn't alone. All these people had known and loved her since the day she was born. They would be here, offering their silent presence, on the day she died. And any one of them would stand beside her to fight a troll. Could she ask for anything more?
The ache in her heart eased a little. But it wouldn't go away. No matter how much these people loved and cared for her, they weren't Lyall. None of them could ever replace Lyall.
*****
"It's not right," Rasell said firmly. "If anyone finds out, we'll be excluded from the trade treaty. You shouldn't have deceived us like this, Brianna."
Now the oldest person in Eryvale, Rasell had taken on Ethean's role upon his death-to preserve the village's history and uphold the law. But unlike the old man, he lacked compassion.
That was a little unfair. Of course he wouldn't understand. No one could. They knew Mianna and Brianna were different, but they didn't really get the implications. And while she could see pity on some of the faces around her, she knew there was nothing they could do to help her. There wasn't anything anyone could do.
She'd messed up royally by leaving. Or by coming back.
She wasn't sure which.
"Brianna didn't mean to deceive anyone," Mianna said stoutly. "She just wanted to see the world. But she came back when we needed her, because she's one of us. She belongs here. And we need her."
"But what are we going to do!" Rasell's wife, Mailet, wailed. "We won't survive without the trade treaty. If we can't trade with the other villages, we won't have anything."
They wouldn't have all the pretty laces and ribbons, that's what she meant.
Even as she thought it, Brianna knew she was being stubborn. They did need the trade treaty. For food, building materials, and most importantly, metal for forging new swords.
"So don't tell them," she said.
All eyes turned in her direction. "Don't tell them," Rasell repeated. "But … they'll notice."
"No one visits us here," Brianna pointed out. "Except for those who go over the ridge. No one wants to risk being caught in Eryvale during a troll raid. Has anyone talked about my death outside of the village?" She looked around as the villagers exchanged glances, shaking their heads.
"Then they won't know that I died and came back. Problem solved."
If only it was that easy.
"The problem isn't you coming back from the dead, though that is suspicious enough," Rasell said. "The problem is you not being married to Terion. That's the part that breaks the law."
He'd said it. There was no avoiding it now. Brianna avoided looking at Terion, who stayed at the back of the room.
She couldn't face the thought of marrying him. It was hard enough to think about never seeing Lyall again, but to marry someone else …
She just couldn't do it. And she opened her mouth to say so when Mianna spoke up.
"Does it really? I mean, the law says that both twins marry the same person. So if one of us is married, doesn't that just automatically mean the other one is too?"
Rasell looked thoughtful. "That could be one interpretation, yes. I will have to check on the wording of the law … " His eyes glazed over, as if he were already pouring over his books. That was one trait he had in common with Ethean.
It didn't make her feel any better. Nor did Mianna's words. Tight bands closed over her heart, making it hard to breath. Married to Terion. Stuck here forever. Never seeing Lyall again.
She already knew it. Had known from the moment Mianna saw her in the field. But somehow, this made it worse.
But what other alternative was there? Rasell was right, they couldn't risk breaking the trade treaty, and that meant that she and Mianna had to marry the same man. And since Mianna was already married …
Her twin was looking at her with a pleading expression in her eyes. "If that satisfies the law," she managed, though the words almost stuck in her throat.
The rest of the meeting was a blur. It was almost a relief when everyone left her mother's house, hers now, leaving her, Mianna and Terion alone.
Terion glanced from Mianna to Brianna. "I'm going to go chop some firewood," he mumbled and escaped from the room.
Tiredness overwhelmed Brianna, but even though she closed her eyes for a minute, she was aware of Mianna's gaze. There were things that had to be said, explanations that wouldn't wait until tomorrow. She sighed, and opened her eyes, staring into the set of eyes, so like her own. Why did it suddenly feel like Mianna was someone else? Where had the closeness gone?
"Why did you come home?" Mianna asked quietly. "Why now?"
Brianna struggled to explain. "I knew something was wrong. I had a dream, a nightmare, that the trolls had come, and I had to come and see if it was true."
"But how did you get here so quickly? Were you somewhere close by?"
Brianna shrugged and skirted the question. "What happened here? Do you know why they attacked? It wasn't a raid, was it?"
Though Mianna's eyes narrowed, she let the question distract her. "No, it didn't follow the pattern of any of the raids we've seen before. There were so many trolls … " A shudder shook her body. "They … they trampled the graves, broke some of the stonework … And mother … " Her voice broke.
Any distance Brianna had felt dissolved in that moment. "Oh, Mia." Tears filled her eyes, and she held her twin, rocking her back and forth. "You're not alone now. I'm here, and this time I'm not going anywhere. I'll protect you from the trolls."
Mianna pulled back, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "But, Bri, what about Terion? I know you didn't want to … "
"We can pretend," Brianna said roughly. "No one will ever know if I … if we … if anything ever actually happens between us. I know you love him, but I just can't … "
Mianna stared at her. "Bri, was there … someone else? I got the feeling … "
Of course. Her sister had the same sixth sense she did. They always had, ever since they were children.
"Sort of. But it was never going to work out. So it's better that it's over now." She shut off the corner of her mind that tried to yell that it had been perfect. There was no point dwelling on what couldn't be. "My place is here. Now, it's obvious something is going on with the trolls. We need to prepare for another attack, be ready for them. I have several ideas of how we can improve our chances of defending the village."
If she was going to be in charge, she was damn well going to do the best job she could.
Lyall stood at the bow of the boat. He didn't waver on his feet, despite the fact that the speed of the boat caused considerable turbulence. Even without turning his head, he was aware of the whispers from the other mages, most far older than him. They thought he was unsuited for this job.
He didn't care what they were saying. His eyes focused on the rapidly approaching shore, searching the boats moored there for one particular one.
There it was, his own yacht, moored at the same jetty he had used last time. But though he searched the crowd gathering and pointing on the beach, he couldn't see Brianna.
He couldn't sense her either.