He waited for me to respond, growing anxious when I didn't. "Are you scared?" he asked.
I waited for a minute to answer, so the words would be true. "No. I'm fine."
He seemed to deliberate for a moment. "I'm curious now, though," he said, his voice light again. "Have you ever . . . ?" He trailed off suggestively.
"Of course not." I flushed. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."
"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."
"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," I sighed.
"That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least." He sounded satisfied.
"Your human instincts . . ." I began. He waited. "Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all?"
He laughed and lightly rumpled my nearly dry hair.
"I may not be a human, but I am a man," he assured me.
I yawned involuntarily.
"I've answered your questions, now you should sleep," he insisted.
"I'm not sure if I can."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No!" I said too loudly.
He laughed, and then began to hum that same, unfamiliar lullaby; the voice of an archangel, soft in my ear.
More tired than I realized, exhausted from the long day of mental and emotional stress like I'd never felt before, I drifted to sleep in his cold arms.
15. THE CULLENS
THE MUTED LIGHT OF YET ANOTHER CLOUDY DAY EVENTUALLY woke me. I lay with my arm across my eyes, groggy and dazed. Something, a dream trying to be remembered, struggled to break into my consciousness. I moaned and rolled on my side, hoping more sleep would come. And then the previous day flooded back into my awareness.
"Oh!" I sat up so fast it made my head spin.
"Your hair looks like a haystack . . . but I like it." His unruffled voice came from the rocking chair in the corner.
"Edward! You stayed!" I rejoiced, and thoughtlessly threw myself across the room and into his lap. In the instant that my thoughts caught up with my actions, I froze, shocked by my own uncontrolled enthusiasm. I stared up at him, afraid that I had crossed the wrong line.
But he laughed.
"Of course," he answered, startled, but seeming pleased by my reaction. His hands rubbed my back.
I laid my head cautiously against his shoulder, breathing in the smell of his skin.
"I was sure it was a dream."
"You're not that creative," he scoffed.
"Charlie!" I remembered, thoughtlessly jumping up again and heading to the door.
"He left an hour ago-after reattaching your battery cables, I might add. I have to admit I was disappointed. Is that really all it would take to stop you, if you were determined to go?"
I deliberated where I stood, wanting to return to him badly, but afraid I might have morning breath.
"You're not usually this confused in the morning," he noted. He held his arms open for me to return. A nearly irresistible invitation.
"I need another human minute," I admitted.
"I'll wait."
I skipped to the bathroom, my emotions unrecognizable. I didn't know myself, inside or out. The face in the mirror was practically a stranger-eyes too bright, hectic spots of red across my cheekbones. After I brushed my teeth, I worked to straighten out the tangled chaos that was my hair. I splashed my face with cold water, and tried to breathe normally, with no noticeable success. I half-ran back to my room.
It seemed like a miracle that he was there, his arms still waiting for me. He reached out to me, and my heart thumped unsteadily.
"Welcome back," he murmured, taking me into his arms.
He rocked me for a while in silence, until I noticed that his clothes were changed, his hair smooth.
"You left?" I accused, touching the collar of his fresh shirt.
"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in-what would the neighbors think?"
I pouted.
"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." His eyes gleamed. "The talking came earlier."
I groaned. "What did you hear?"
His gold eyes grew very soft. "You said you loved me."
"You knew that already," I reminded him, ducking my head.
"It was nice to hear, just the same."
I hid my face against his shoulder.
"I love you," I whispered.
"You are my life now," he answered simply.
There was nothing more to say for the moment. He rocked us back and forth as the room grew lighter.
"Breakfast time," he said eventually, casually-to prove, I'm sure, that he remembered all my human frailties.
So I clutched my throat with both hands and stared at him with wide eyes. Shock crossed his face.