“Oh, yeah. Get your list and let’s go through it.”
“Why do you want to help me?” Even though I vowed not to ask questions, this one made me curious.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he looked at me, cringing a bit. “but I’ve never met anyone who has had so few life experiences. I like watching you live ’ em.” He smiled. “Plus, it sounds fun.”
I retrieved the list and set it on the table between us. It looked more battered than the last time he’d seen it.
“I see you’ve checked off more things.”
“Yeah, and a few more things today.” I picked up a pen off the table. “Today was dance…” I checked it off.
His eyes twinkled. “You danced?”
“Yeah, in the Henryetta splash park.” Last week I would have been embarrassed to admit it. Today I was proud.
He chuckled. “I sure would have liked to have seen that.”
“Dress like a princess…” Check.
“Why am I missing out on all these? Was this while you were dancing in the Henryetta splash park? What were you wearing?”
“No, it was not.” I laughed. “It was later. My niece Ashley put a tiara on me and enough makeup to help me establish a new career as a prostitute.”
“I might like to have a say in your career choice.” His voice was low in my ear.
If I had any hope of crossing off fifteen, I would have let him go on. Instead, I gave him a playful shove. “We have work to do. Focus.”
“Learn to knit.” Check. I waited for him to say something. When he didn’t I turned to him. “No comment?”
He raised his eyebrow in an apologetic gesture. “Knitting doesn’t do anything for me. Sorry.”
I laughed. “What if I said I was knitting you a scarf?”
“Are you?” The excitement in his voice surprised me.
“I could be…” I gave him a wicked look. “For a price.”
“Monday. Moving on.”
“Picnic in the park.” Check.
“You really never went on a picnic in the park before?” He asked softly, sadness creeping into his voice.
“No, but you know, it’s okay. I did today.”
“How could you not experience all these normal things?”
I knew what he meant, but his words stung. Normal. Just a reminder that I wasn’t. “Momma was strict. She didn't believe in having fun; picnics were frivolous things. Gardners did not do frivolous things.”
He took my hand in his, slowly stroking his fingers along the back and up to my wrist. “Your mother sounds like she was a hard woman to live with.” His other hand moved up to my hair as he looked into my face. “You’ve had a lot of pain in your life. I’m sorry.”
My vision got blurry from tears. I didn’t want to cry with Joe. I looked down at the list. “Oh,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. “I forgot one.”
Joe moved the hand in my hair down to my back, holding me in an embrace like I had seen Mike do with Violet.
“Wear a lacy bra and panties.” Check.
Joe started to cough and then laugh.
“Why is that funny?” I turned to face him, ready to pounce on him for making fun of me.
His eyes grew dark. “Trust me, there’s nothin’ funny about what you just said. You just caught me off guard.” His arm around my back pulled me closer to him, so my shoulder fit into his chest, his hand pressed against my arm. “Listen Rose, I know you’re very inexperienced, and I know that you’re not used to talkin’ about things like this, so I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you that you can’t just talk about these kinds of things with guys.”
“But I’m talkin’ to you about it.”
“Well…I’m different. A lot of guys would take advantage of the situation. You're too trustin’. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Why are you different than other guys? Do you not want to, you know, with me?” I still couldn’t bring myself to say it. “It’s okay if you don’t want me, just tell me.” If he didn’t want to, it would hurt, but I’d rather know now.
Joe groaned, long and deep, and his arm tightened around me. “You have no idea how much I want you. But I can’t yet, I just can’t and you don’t know how hard it is.” In fact,” he turned my head to look at him, his eyes burning with desire. “All I can think about at this moment is the bra and panties you’re wearing under your clothes. What do they look like? What color are they? What do you look like in them? I think about how I can take your clothes off so I can see.”