"I don't want to let any one of them down. Not one single person." I turned to face her. Her eyes wide with confusion. "And for one second I hesitated." I bent so that my nose was within inches of her face. "I almost said to hell with all of it, and let the thing go under. I almost didn't sign the contract. I was going to lose the millions. I was going to let people go unemployed. I actually considered it so Shawna and Lindy could stay there. You know why?"
Her head moved back and forth.
"Because I didn't want to see that look in your eye. I didn't want to disappoint you. To hell with the rest of them. But you. I didn't want to let you down. And I know that's what you would think. You see your sister in her. You can't help it." I put my head between my hands. "And somehow you'd blame me for all of it."
"But you could have told me," she whispered. "You should have told me."
"Not until I knew there was no way out." I sat, the bed bouncing under my frame. "I would do whatever I had to not to see that look in your eye. It kills me. It cuts right through me, Syd."
I felt the exhaustion and the strain from the day. The ache in my muscles. The worry when Sydney was missing. The fear she was lost. The struggle to keep it all together.
"Don't leave me, Syd. Don't make this the thing that breaks us. God, don't leave me." It came pouring out in a jolting, disjointed sequence. All I could think about was that I had ruined us.
"Shh." She wrapped her hands around my neck. "Shh. I'm not going anywhere."
Her lips were on mine. I felt the heat from her mouth. My hands twisted in her hair, bringing her closer. Our cheeks were wet with tears. I didn't know where hers started and mine stopped. I tasted the salt on our tongues.
"Don't leave. Don't leave." I felt the safety in her arms, the softness, the tenderness.
"Mason, you broke my heart today." She sat forward, studying my face.
"I know I did." I only wanted her lips again, the feel of her body sliding against mine. Things were right when we were connected. The pressure was gone. The only responsibility I had was to keep her in the fortress of my arms.
"I will make things right for Shawna. I swear I will." I looked into her eyes. The tinges of hazel and amber that drove me crazy the first day I saw her at the Cove danced together.
"It doesn't fix everything." She drew X's over my heart with her finger.
"No, it doesn't." I sat forward on my elbows. "But I learned something today."
"What?"
"It doesn't matter to me that we haven't known each other long, or that we've burned through this relationship hotter and faster than we should have. When I had to fly home without you, I knew why I was so crazy. I knew what had happened."
"What happened, Mason?"
Her hair fell loosely on her shoulders. Her long eyelashes were damp with tears. All I could think about was kissing her. Hanging on to every touch.
"I fell in love with you."
"Oh my God." She stared at me. "I-I this is really happening."
I nodded. "I hope so. I'm completely in love with you. Every part of you."
She kissed me, dragging her soft lips against my mouth. "I love you. I mean really love you. So much that I think my heart might pound out of my chest, or that you can see it on my face in the morning. I've been scared to tell you. I wanted to tell you, but it's too fast, right? Too soon?"
"No, baby." I reached for the remote. The room faded to black. "You and me. I want all of it. All of you. I want to love you like you've never been loved. Your body. Your heart. The way your mind runs a million miles a minute." I threaded my fingers through hers, carrying her hands over her head. "No more running. No more games. I'm not going to let you go tonight or any other night."
"Ohh," she sighed.
"I think I told you the first night we were together I wouldn't stop until you begged me too." I felt her squirm under me. "Well, not true. You can't make me stop loving you."
I nipped under her ear, feeling her come alive beneath me.
"Don't stop loving me and I won't stop loving you," she breathed.
I kissed below her neck. "This is the best part." I smiled.
"The makeup sex?" she suggested. Her hands had slipped free and she was running them up my back.
"Yes. Makeup sex. And then after that comes the ‘I love you' sex."
I had more to tell her. We could talk in the morning over coffee. Or in the shower. Or when we tried to figure out what in the hell we were going to do about the trailer park.
I'd tell her I was trying to track down Hailey. I would also have to let her know I was headed to Europe in two weeks for a look at a champagne vineyard. But I didn't feel like I had to rush it. We had time. She was going to wake up in my arms. Nothing else mattered.
Epilogue
Mason
October
The water stung my ankles like tiny needles jabbing around the bone every time the surf rushed over my skin. My feet sloshed through the ripples. My toes sank deeper in the wet sand. I picked up a shell and skipped it across the breakers. It sank twenty feet from where I stood. What was it about this place?
It didn't matter what I did, where I traveled, or how long I was gone; the island pulled me back like a relentless tide.
A gull swooped over a sandbar, diving head first between two swells.
I shoved my hands in my pockets, wiping the salt water off in the process.
A year ago I arrived here a bitter man. An angry man. I thought I was in control, but I wasn't. The hurt was. It would be easier if I could label it as pain. But it wasn't that alone. It was mixed with embarrassment and humiliation. Time had eased parts, but I knew it was a wound that would never truly heal.
I felt closer to him here. Whether that was a good thing, I still hadn't decided. I finally was getting to know the parts of him I never met. The other life he had tucked away here between the dunes. Grey. Renee. The Palm Palace. This stretch of beach where he used to fish. I moved to the side when a strong wave pushed on shore. My charcoal pants were rolled a few cuffs above my ankles.
I felt the heaviness settle in my chest. The weight of the questions sinking from my head to my lungs. What was here wasn't enough. I'd never talk to my dad at Pete's while we sat at the wooden bar. I'd never understand why he chose to raise Grey and not me. I'd never know why he left my mom.
Instead I had pieces. Scraps and discarded bits like the shells under my feet. Broken wholes thrown on the beach with only half of their story visible.
I reached for another shell and watched it bounce twice when I threw it. I lowered my eyes to the water rushing around me.
I felt the warmth of delicate arms circle my waist and the heat of her body pressed against my back.
"What are you doing out here?" Her cheek flattened against my shoulder blade.
"Thought I'd take a walk before we leave."
"I was almost afraid to bother you. You looked intense."
I shook my head. "Just thinking."
"Hmm." She withdrew her arms, positioning herself in front of me. "It could only be one of a hundred possible things going on right now. Want to talk about it before I start guessing?"
I kissed her on the forehead. I loved her for asking. I loved her for loving me so much.
"Thinking about my dad. Letting the beach suck me in when I know better. Nothing is going to change."
"Do you want to know what I think?" She smiled.
"Of course I do."
"I don't think it's the beach's fault. I think the trip has you worried."
"What? No. That's not it."
She tilted her to the side, her eyes squinting from the sun. "How could it not? You're worried what people will think or how you even fit into the equation. They're going to ask uncomfortable questions. And I know you're good with awkward-you can charm, but it doesn't mean it doesn't affect you."
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but it flew free anyway. It reminded me of the first time I saw her at the Cove. She was irritated and lost, a beautiful woman trying to get her bearings. A woman whose view of the world changed mine almost instantly.
"And then there's the toast," she reminded me.
"Yeah, the toast. That one's really got me up all night." I laughed at the look in her eye.
"Don't mock me, Mason. I'm the one person who knows how difficult the wedding is going to be for you."
"It's not going to be difficult. I am happy for Eden and Grey. I am going to dance with the most gorgeous woman there. I am going to give one hell of a toast. And then you and I are going on our mooncation."
"You don't have to pretend for me."
"Darlin', I'm not pretending." I looked at my watch. "I think we better head back to the house before the car service beats us."