She looked over her shoulder. I could see from where we stood there was someone down by the waves. I thought it might be a girl. What the hell? I started to lay into Eden, but she was already scrambling.
"I didn't know you were going to be here tonight." Her eyes darted in my direction. "And she's leaving anyway. I didn't want you not to come, and she didn't want you to have to leave."
"Darlin', darlin'." Grey put his hands on her shoulders. "You are talking a mile a minute. Who is here?"
But I knew. She didn't need to say her name or explain how it happened. I took off for the water.
"Mason, wait." Eden tried to follow me, but Grey pulled her back in the circle.
"Let him go," he instructed.
I didn't know what I was going to do. I only knew I had to see her.
The music died down the closer I got to the surf. The fire bounced shadows off the water. Her silhouette was still. I stopped before I was close enough to touch her. She was staring ahead. Maybe at one of the ships sailing by. The wind kicked up and my body seized involuntarily when I smelled her shampoo. Her long hair danced all around her.
"Syd?" I called her name.
She turned around as if she had been expecting me to call her name. "I'm leaving. I swear I didn't come here to crash your party. Eden didn't know you would be here."
"I know. She stopped me at the top of the beach." I paused. "Second time today this has happened."
"Second?" Even in the dark I knew the confused look on her face.
"I saw you earlier at the press conference."
"You were there and you didn't say anything?"
"You were working. I was working." I wasn't going to tell her what seeing her did to me.
"Right. Because uncomfortable isn't fun, is it?" She started to walk up the beach away from me.
"Hey, I thought we were talking." I jogged to catch up to her.
"I'm going to tell Eden goodbye and head home. I don't know what to say to you, Mason."
"How about something that doesn't make my head spin?" I glared at her harder than I intended to. She had me switching emotions faster than the waves rolled in.
"Your head? Are you saying I'm throwing mixed signals?" She sounded incredulous.
"Just tell me what in the hell happened in San Antonio, Syd. Can you do that?" I stopped huffing for a second to calm my voice. "Let's not argue about it. Let's not get mad. I want the straight, honest truth."
"Which part? The part when I confided in you and told you things I've never told anyone, and then you kicked me out with a fucking credit card the next morning. Because that's the part that really sticks out to me."
I scratched my head. "I told you I had a business meeting. Two to be exact. How could you be mad at me for that? I made sure you were taken care of." Was she seriously mad about that?
She stormed farther down the beach. "I can't do this. I'm angry. I can't talk about it without getting angry. I can't look at you without wanting to claw your eyes out."
"That sounds a little harsh, sweetheart." She had walked past the bonfire party. This part of the beach was completely dark. I had to step closer to try to see her face.
"I'm serious." She spun to face me. "I'll leave. You can go back to the party. We don't have to do this."
"We need to do this. I don't play games. If this is some kind of game to you, which I'm starting to get that feeling, I'm out. When I saw you this morning and then down by the beach again tonight, I thought I needed to say something. Try to apologize for something. Although I don't know what had you so pissed."
"You. You had me pissed," She seethed.
"Because of the credit card? What about the stunt you pulled? I called. I texted. I had the damn bellhops looking for you. Do you know what it felt like when I thought you were missing?"
"Missing? Why would I be missing?"
I threw my hands in the air. "I don't know. Maybe because you had just told me a horrific story about how your sister is on the run."
"You thought I ran?"
"No. I don't know what I thought. I only knew I couldn't find you. I thought you were lost or someone took you." I sat on sand. "Saying it out loud sounds damn ridiculous." I laughed.
She sat next to me. "So you weren't mad about the schedule? You were trying to find me?"
"I thought I had made that clear. I turned the hotel upside down."
She stared ahead. The green light passed the red one on the horizon. "I'm sorry I made you worry. I shouldn't have done that."
"No, you shouldn't have." I hung my head. "But I know now why you did it. You thought what you told me didn't matter." I shifted in the sand, twisting my body toward her. I didn't care that she closed her eyes when I held her face between my hands. "I know what it's like to carry family secrets. I wouldn't disregard something like that. I felt honored that you shared it with me."
Her eyes fluttered open. I wished I could see the hazel flecks under the stars. "But, the way you acted. You were a jackass."
"Ok, so maybe I was focused on the meetings. They are multi-million dollar contracts. Fifty million if you want to know. I was slightly preoccupied. It didn't mean that night wasn't important to me."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh." I leaned toward her. The air suddenly seemed still and calm as if the waves weren't rolling toward us any longer. Nights on the beach could be cold, but I didn't feel the chill on my skin. How was I back in this situation again? The same beautiful girl kept landing in my hands. "I'm going to ask you something I have never in my life asked someone."
"What's that?" Her voice had lost some of the anger and resentment.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Why would you ask me that? You usually just do it."
"Because this time is different." I steadied my breath. It was all I could do not to kiss her now. My heart was racing.
"Different how?" she whispered over the breeze.
"Different because we've both already walked away once. Kissing you now changes everything."
"How?"
I wondered if she was confused or needed every ounce or reassurance I could give her to convince her I meant what I said. It would have to be different.
"Because I think we've established that there might be something between us other than fun," I explained.
"But you don't want more than fun. You told me in the car things aren't supposed to get serious. You don't want to cross lines or mix business and pleasure. I heard all of it."
My thumb brushed over her lips. "Did you miss this?"
She nodded, her mouth parting slightly to kiss the pad of my thumb. I felt the urges rise in my chest.
"I did. I tried not to. I swear I don't how you made me miss you, but you did." She nuzzled against my neck, and I held my breath. "Mason, I'm scared to do this again."
I tilted her chin toward me. "We have to rewrite all the rules."
"I think that's the problem. You have too many rules. I don't know what I can and can't do. First it was no interviews. Then one interview. Then you wanted me to stay over, and then you didn't, only to end up spending the most incredible night in your bed with a promise it was a one-time deal." She huffed. "And then on the way to San Antonio we agreed we were only in this for the fun. But I totally hijacked that when I unloaded all my family problems on you. We clearly have no fucking clue what we're doing."
I laughed. "You make it sound like we are escaped mental patients."
"I'm glad you find this funny."
"It's the way you laid it out. We can't make up our minds."
"No we can't."
I pulled her to me so she was straddling my lap. "Unless maybe we had an idea from the beginning of what this was, and we didn't want to face it."
"What's that?" she asked.
"That we should just see how things go." My heart felt heavy. I could feel the pulse thicken in my veins as I held her in my arms.
"Are we going back to fun status?" There was an edge in her voice. Distrust and skepticism crept in again.
I shook my head. "No, darlin', not fun status." I kissed her cheek. "I'm talking about something real. We see where things go."
"It sounds open-ended. I'm not trying to put you in a corner, but I'm trying to figure you out, Mason. I don't know what you want. I keep trying to twist myself to be that girl, and it's making me dizzy. I'm not even the kind of girl who tries to fit into a certain mold. It never works, and it's not going to work with you either. Look at what's already happened. A cool, fun girl never would have run up your credit card and gone missing all day. A fun girl wouldn't have stormed out."
"I'm not asking you to be someone you're not." I touched the bare skin below her shoulder. "I like this girl."