"Take these and then I'll let you sleep."
I scowled at her, but tossed them on my tongue.
"Good night, Luke." She turned off the light and closed the door.
The next morning the hangover wasn't as brutal as I thought, but I was pretty sure I had dreamed Alexa had appeared on my doorstep. I walked to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth.
When I walked into the kitchen, I realized it wasn't a dream. There was a pot of coffee and a gorgeous blonde in my kitchen.
"Good morning." She smiled. "How are you feeling?"
I rubbed the back of my head. "Like you aren't supposed to be here." I'd never tossed a woman out of my house before.
"I came to tell you my side of the story. Don't I deserve that? I've given you that more than once."
She walked toward the kitchen table with two mugs of coffee. She placed one in front of me.
"I don't know. I'm fucking pissed right now. You lied to me."
"I thought you would be mad."
"I am mad."
She closed her eyes and slid into the seat. She wasn't going anywhere. She was as stubborn as I was. I sat across from her.
"You can be mad. But you can also listen." She glared at me.
I felt ambushed. She had jumped me when I was down. When I was too drunk to protest. The agony of what I had been through the past two days was enough to never attempt it again. I thought I found a way to drown out the noise with bourbon and vodka. Enough to numb the pain. Enough to erase her.
But fuck. She was close enough I could smell her hair. I could reach out and touch her if I wanted. And then the jab of the knife twisted under my lowest rib and I remembered the betrayal. The fucking dishonesty that was sitting at this table too.
"I can't." I shook my head. "I won't."
"Just sit there. That's all you have to do." Before I knew it she started telling me the truth. The full truth. "When I moved to Nashville I told you I had nothing. Absolutely nothing."
"Yeah, I remember the story." I put the coffee to my mouth. The gulp cleared the last bit of haze in my head.
"So I took a job for a dating agency." She eyed me. "A dating agency. All I did was go on dates. Two hours max with men who needed someone for a business dinner or a social setting. It was never more than that. Never."
She pressed the last word into the air between us. "I was not a hooker. I was not an escort. I never slept with any of the men. Every date was in a public setting. I used a fake name and wore a wig because if I did make it one day I didn't want anyone to know I had a job in a business that doesn't necessarily have the best reputation."
She lowered her eyes. "I swear that is what happened. That is the complete truth. I was never a prostitute or a call girl. It wasn't the best decision I've made, but it wasn't the worst either."
"Then why haven't you cleared your name? Told everyone the truth?"
"Because that agency is still in Nashville. And there are a lot of girls just like me. Guys too, who need the money. And it's not a prostitution ring or a whore house, Luke. I'm not going to out them just to save myself. Jake did this because he's an evil son of a bitch."
"Jake?"
She nodded. "He was one of the guys I went out with. Many times actually. He always needed a date."
"So you two were an item? Fucker. I knew it." The idea of them together lit the rage fire again. I'd hated him from the instant we met at the gala.
"No. He's gay, Luke. Jake is gay."
"What the fuck?" I chugged the coffee as if there were shots of bourbon stirred in. I needed a few.
"We used to be friends. Really good friends actually. And then something happened to him. He got caught up in the fame. My fame. And the money and meeting bigger and hotter stars. It changed who he used to be. And when I wanted to change he didn't want it. I was his golden goose as the good girl. He didn't want me to evolve and risk what he had built. He threatened me with my secret. He's held it against me for years."
"What a dick. I told you he was an asshole."
"I know you did. You were right, but I was too scared to leave. Too afraid that he would expose me."
I clenched my fists. I didn't know what to think. My gut told me to go beat the shit out of that guy for what he had done to Alexa. Part of me was mad she hadn't told me the truth. And then there was the man who was so fucking far over the cliff in love with her he couldn't push her away. There wasn't enough booze in the world to drink her memory away. There weren't enough days to make me forget.
"So now what? Where is he?"
She shook her head. I saw the shame in her eyes. She didn't need me to tell her she should have trusted me with her secret. She was already in pain because of it. But I could have helped her. Fuck it. I didn't know I valued the truth until it was something I didn't have.
"He said I violated our contract. Had it nulled and then signed with a bigger pop artist. He's gone."
I couldn't help but grin. "Good. You're better off without that piece of shit in your life."
"I don't know how I feel about it yet. It was a big price to pay to be free."
I looked into her eyes. This girl had been through hell and back. She was alone in this life. No parents. No other family.
"It cost me fans. It cost me friends." Her lashes glistened with tears. "Did it cost me you?"
I swallowed hard. Fuck.
35
Alexa
"Luke, can you forgive me?" I looked at him desperately. "I'm sorry. So sorry I didn't tell you. I should have been honest from the beginning. From the minute I told you about my family. That's when I should have told you."
His eyes were set in a hard line. I couldn't read him. I didn't know if he was still angry, hurt, or just done with me.
And I knew I had screwed up. But if there was one person in this world who could forgive me it was this man. The one who had held me. Who saw me beyond the lights and the smoke. I waited anxiously.
"This is the hardest fucking decision of my life." His jaw clenched. "I want you. But you annihilated me. I'm not the kind of man who runs the same play twice just to get obliterated a second time."
The tear slipped from my cheek. Could I blame him? Could I judge him for not wanting to get hurt again? The pain gripped and seized me. I had flown here to be heard. I told my story and now it was time to pack my sequin dress and start my life over in Tennessee. I didn't know how I'd leave. How I'd say goodbye to him.
"I'll go," I volunteered. "There's a noon flight I can make."
I felt sick. If I started to cry now in front of him, I might not stop. I had to get to the guest room and clean up before the tears unleashed on both of us.
"Hold on. I didn't give you my answer." He brushed the hair from my shoulder. "I didn't know how much you meant to me, until you were gone, Alexa. I sat here in this ranch trying everyway I knew how to get you out of my pores. And it didn't work."
"What?"
"You heard me." His eyes landed on me.
"Is that a yes?" I was fighting the tears.
"I should have given you a chance to explain." His thumb traced my cheek. "I was a dick about it."
"It's ok. It's ok. It was terrible. And confusing. And I feel like my emotions have been all over the place lately." The tears came anyway.
Luke leaned toward me, scooping me into his arms. It was the first time I'd felt like we were connected again. The heat of his body soothed me. We were going to be ok.
My tears dotted the sleeve of his T-shirt.
His eyes lit. "Emotional?" He tilted his head. "Do you think … ?
I unwrapped myself from his arms and stood. "I brought it with me. It's in the guestroom."
I walked down the hall to the room I stayed in last night. I barely slept, worried that Luke would send me home. That he wouldn't be able to forgive me.
I dug through the bottom of my bag and pulled out the cardboard box with the plus and minus sign on the picture.
"That's it?" he asked.
I nodded. "Are you ready for this? You sure?"
He cupped my face. "Yes."
"Ok. I'll be right back." I walked into the bathroom. I read the instructions five times. I wanted to get it right. I wanted to give Luke what he wanted.
I opened the door, leaving the stick on the counter.
"We have to wait three more minutes," I reported.
We sat on the bed, staring into the bathroom. What was on that stick was going to change our lives.
"Go check it," he urged.
I was almost shaking. I pushed open the door and stared at the stick. I stared at it, making sure I read the stick correctly. I held it out and walked back to Luke.
"What is it?" His face was expectant.
"Not pregnant," I choked on the words.
"You're not?" He took the stick from my hands. "You're not."