Without meaning to, Lindsey flinched back, instantly feeling terrible when her best friend's eyes shone with hurt, yet understanding.
"I'm sorry," Lindsey mumbled.
"Don't apologize. I get it," Stormy said.
But the reality was that no one could understand what she was going through. Not even another victim of assault. Each woman's experience was unique. Lindsey considered herself a strong person, but since the attack, she couldn't stand to be touched.
Lindsey didn't say anything else to assure Stormy she was okay, because what else could she say? Nothing.
"Are you feeling okay today? You seem a bit paler than normal," Stormy said, but this time she didn't reach for her, thankfully.
"I'm fine. I promise," she said, a bit too loudly and with false enthusiasm. She winced at the patient look on her best friend's face.
"We should make your doctor's appointment. Last week you said your side was hurting," Stormy said, and Lindsey could see her friend's fingers twitching as if she wanted to reach out again.
"I don't want anyone looking at it anymore. Even the doctor looking at the ugly scars . . . I hate it," she said more quietly as she set down her mug on the tray and got up, pacing the room.
"I just need to do something-anything," Stormy said.
"No. Please just drop it, Stormy," Lindsey begged.
"Lins, it's just me. I've seen the scar, and it doesn't take away even an ounce of your beauty. You're the strongest woman I've ever known. Those marks just prove what a survivor you are," Stormy said, but she stayed where she was and allowed Lindsey time to try to get her breath.
"Stormy, it hurts for me to even look in a mirror," she admitted.
It wasn't easy for her to say. Really, the scaring wasn't that bad. She was a nurse; she'd seen far worse. The biggest one was about four inches long and less than a quarter inch wide. Then there were a few smaller scrapes near it, but the doctor had done a great job. The problem was that she knew they were there, and they were a reminder of what had happened. Every time she was reminded, she found panic once again choking her.
"Lins, I'm not just saying kind words to hear myself talk. You honestly are beautiful inside and out. And strong-so very strong. If the roles were reversed, I guarantee you, I wouldn't have made it out of that room alive."
Lindsey looked at her best friend and saw the truth shining from her eyes, but it didn't matter. No matter how many times she was assured the world was still spinning, it didn't help her feel okay. She was beginning to feel that nothing would ever be okay again.
"I know how much you love me, and I promise I will get back to myself," Lindsey began. "But I just need a little more time," she finished.
"I understand that. I want you to take as much time as you need. You're so important to me."
"Just as you are important to me," Lindsey told her.
"How about we get out of here for a while. We could go to the spa," Stormy suggested.
The thought of breaking up her carefully laid-out routine sent a spiral of panic right through her. Dammit! She hated weakness.
"Maybe tomorrow, Stormy. I'm going to do schoolwork today, okay?" she said, hoping her friend wouldn't argue with her.
Stormy looked as if she wanted to, but finally she let out a sigh.
"Okay, Lins. But I'm going to keep bugging you," Stormy assured her.
"I wouldn't expect anything less," Lindsey told her.
Though Stormy truly was her best friend, Lindsey found herself counting down the moments until Stormy left the small cottage. It had become her sanctuary since Stormy had brought her home.
When Stormy left, Lindsey decided to water the flowers. The sun was shining and she needed to get outdoors. She couldn't use her fear for the rest of her life. Eventually, she was going to have to really start living again.
CHAPTER THREE
Sherman sat on his nephew's back deck and enjoyed the ice tea Stormy had made for him and his friends. It sure was great to have family-and the sort of friends who you'd die for were also family in his eyes.
He looked over at Martin Whitman, who hadn't visited in such a long while. He gave him a look that made Martin chuckle before Sherman even spoke.
"It's been too long, my friend," Sherman grumbled. "I would think a retired man could get over a bit more."
Martin chuckled. "I could say the same," Martin pointed out.
"Well said," Sherman admitted. "How is the clan over there in Montana?" he asked, not able to pull off his indignation for too long.
"They couldn't be better. I've still got my youngest to marry off, but with Joseph's help, my three oldest are happy and giving me grandbabies. It took the brats long enough to do what they should have done without prodding, but I got my way," Martin said with a smug smile.
"Yeah, those kids even have the gall to say we're meddling when they obviously are happier than they've ever been," Joseph Anderson piped in, taking a long pull off his fragrant cigar.
"Ungrateful, the lot of them," Martin said.
The men sat back for a minute as they relished in their indignation.
"I think I'll go ahead and make a trip that way this summer. I've been so worried about my lot here I haven't gone far, but they're slowly but surely growing up. I'm so glad those boys of yours have begun to see the light. It's been a pleasure to keep up on their progress," Sherman told him.
"We'll go together, my friend," Joseph said. "My last few trips out there were just wonderful. I've even considered moving there. If my family weren't so settled here in Seattle, I might just do that, but I couldn't go even a week without seeing the grandkids. I'd miss them too much."
"Don't think you're going to leave the girls out of this male bonding trip. I'm joining you," Evelyn said. "I want to see Bethel and the gang. We talk on the phone, but it's not the same as visiting in person. I think my last visit out there was two years ago. My, how the time just keeps slipping away."
"It would do you some good to get away from these rowdy boys of yours. Of course, with Cooper settled down and married now, he's a whole new man," Sherman said with a smile. "Not that he's given any thanks for my help."
"Our help," Joseph said with a scowl.
"Of course, my friend," Sherman said, grinning.
"No matter how it worked out, I'm just grateful it did. No one needs to get credit," Evelyn said with a pointed look. "But with Cooper happily wed, I've been worried about my other boys."
"A little credit would be nice," Joseph said, but the group ignored him as they focused on the latter half of Evelyn's comment.
"Even though those boys of yours have given us trouble through the years, they've also grown up more than I thought possible in the past five," Sherman assured her.
"They are as stubborn as their father, aren't they?" Evelyn said with a smile of affection.
"As much as I hate to admit it, that's what makes them such fine men," Joseph assured her.
Sherman's eyes focused across the yard, and the rest of the group looked over to see what had captured his attention. Lindsey was out in front of the cottage watering the flowers just starting to come into bloom.
"That poor girl," Sherman said with sadness.
"It's been a year since the attack, but it might as well be yesterday," Evelyn said. "I'm very worried about her. Such a sweet girl. What she went through is too horrible to even fathom."
"I was at the hospital right after it happened. She was traumatized so badly," Sherman told the group. "She tried going back to her life, but the nightmares were too much. Finally, Stormy and I talked her into moving into the cottage. She's gone back to work, and she even gives that fake smile she thinks is fooling us all, but it doesn't show in her eyes."
"You and Lindsey have grown quite close," Joseph told his friend.
"I had high hopes of her and Maverick making a go of it a couple years ago. I saw some definite interest from both of them at Cooper and Stormy's wedding. But no matter how much poking and prodding I did, those two didn't fall for it. And then that tragedy happened, and I didn't want to push her anymore. But I'm worried because it seems she's given up on life. I don't want her to do that either," Sherman fretted.
"I agree with you, Sherman. She needs to move forward or she might never get back on her feet again. I know that Maverick sure asks about her a lot. I haven't ever seen him so concerned about anyone other than family," Evelyn said.
"Maybe with her needing a shoulder to lean on and Maverick feeling the need to be a hero, the two might just come together and heal one another's souls," Martin said.
"Yes, Maverick definitely loves being a hero," Sherman said with a laugh. "That boy was pretending to be a cop or a knight from the time he was just a tot."