Turbulent Desires(16)

"I know," he said with a smile. "Is it working?"

"The guilt? Yes!" she hissed.

"Good. You two were meant to be together. And don't worry, I brought some toys, a dog bed, and food."

And that was the end of that. She knew it was stupid to take on the  responsibility of an animal at this point in her life, but like he'd  said, the dog had chosen her and she didn't want to let her go now.

Besides that, it was actually pretty empowering that, for the first time  in over a year, Lindsey was the one doing the rescuing instead of being  rescued. There was this precious little dog who had been neglected and  abused who loved and trusted Lindsey. She couldn't turn her back on the  animal.

It looked like she was becoming a pet owner. And it was the happiest she'd felt in a very long time.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Oh my goodness, Lins, I'd have never taken you for a dog person, but I  absolutely already love Princess even after just visiting with her for a  few minutes," Stormy said as Lindsey and Maverick climbed up on her  deck.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first, Stormy. I wasn't  planning on getting a dog at all. It's just that Mav took me there to  walk them and then . . . wait." She stopped and looked at her best  friend. "How did you know I decided to keep her?"

Stormy just smiled. "Mav told me the two of you had bonded and needed each other."

"Mav doesn't make decisions for me," Lindsey said as she glared first at Stormy and then at Mav.

"Of course not, sugar," Mav said, infuriating her all the more.

"You're impossible," she snapped. He had made the decision for her the moment he'd brought the dog to her.

"I've been told that a lot," he said as he grabbed a beer and sat down in a lounge chair, kicking back.

In her past life, as she saw it, she would have never let him get away  with behavior like that. It made her feel a whole lot better about the  situation because she did want the dog even if she hadn't known how  badly she did until Princess had shown up at her front door.

It didn't take long for Benji to wear himself out. Then he came flying  up on the deck and jumped on the end of the lounge chair, quickly  curling up and falling asleep at Mav's feet as if the two of them had  always been together.

It was really difficult to stay irritated with a man when he had such a  shaggy mutt by his side, or in this case, at his feet. The picture was  too dang adorable.

She decided to ignore Mav and his overbearing ways as Cooper joined his  brother and the two started talking airplanes. It seemed easier that  way. She focused on Stormy instead.

"Where's baby Aaron?" Lindsey asked.

"The little tiger is all worn out. I fed him and he crashed hard," Stormy said.

"Oh." Lindsey was disappointed. Holding the baby always soothed her  nerves, and with Maverick around, her nerves were at an all-time high.

The four of them had a nice barbecue, then sat by the fire for what must  have been hours before Lindsey found herself all alone with Maverick.  Cooper and Stormy had disappeared on her.

Traitors!

"Sit with me."

It wasn't a question, it was a command, and though she wanted to resist  him, she couldn't seem to do it. Lindsey found herself pulled into his  arms as the fire crackled in front of them.

"Why do you like to push me so much?" she finally asked him. Her guard seemed to be dropping.

"Honestly, I can't explain it," Mav said as he poked the fire with a stick.

"I don't want to do the fund-raiser," she said.

He was quiet for several moments. "If you truly don't want to do it,  then I will stop bugging you, but I think you'd do great," he said. He  wasn't looking directly at her, which made it somehow easier to  communicate.         

     



 

"Why do you think I could do it? I haven't ever done something like that before," she pointed out.

"Because you know what it's like to go through a traumatic experience, which means you can empathize with the cause," he said.

She thought about his words for a moment, and it made her flash back to  that awful night in the hospital. She'd spoken to counselors and they  all told her she was suffering from PTSD. She didn't necessarily believe  that.

"It's not the same," she said.

"What's not the same?" He turned to look at her then, and she was  captured by his expression. There was just so much understanding in his  eyes. It was almost too much.

"The soldiers go through so much more than what I went through," she told him.

"Don't do that, Lins. Don't downplay your own pain," he told her.

"I just don't see how I can help anyone when I can't even help myself," she admitted in a rare moment of vulnerability.

He paused as he looked at her, as if he could see straight into her  soul. It was very unnerving. She wanted to take back the words. But he  wasn't going to give her a chance to do that.

"You know you can talk to me, Lindsey. It really does help."

"I can't . . . can't talk about it," she told him. Even thinking about  it hurt. She didn't want to pull away from him, but she didn't want to  talk about the attack either.

"I'm not going to make you talk. I just want to let you know that I'm  here for you if you need me. I had a bad experience while in the  military, and I went through some serious crap after until I finally  trusted someone with my story. Letting it out helped me more than  anything else did."

Lindsey pulled back so she could get a good look at his expression. He'd  told her he understood what she was going through, but she hadn't  realized he'd been speaking from personal experience.

She tried remembering what he'd said to her before, but she couldn't.

"Can you tell me about it?" she asked, expecting rejection.

"It's not pretty, sug. But if you want to know, I will tell you," he said as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

"I really think I would like to know."

"Let's get a bit more comfortable."

He arranged the cushions against a log, then leaned back into it and  pulled her into his arms. His hands were wrapped around her middle as he  rested his chin against her shoulder, turning to press a light kiss on  her neck. She was surprised that she wasn't pulling away from him, but  right now she felt safer where she was than any other place.

She waited, knowing he needed to take time if he was about to speak of  something traumatic. Everyone needed time when they were opening up.

If it were daylight with the sun shining down on her, she might think  twice about where she was. But it was dark, and she was comfortable,  with the buzz of alcohol zinging through her system. She didn't want to  move.

The dogs were curled up beside them. The moon was a dim glow in the sky,  the stars were twinkling down on them, and the warm fire in front of  them crackled, making her feel like they were the only two people in the  universe.

So she silently waited. She realized she could wait there all night. If  she could freeze this moment, she would. Maverick had broken through her  carefully constructed barrier, and she knew that there was no going  back. She wasn't sure she wanted to go forward, either, but maybe the  two of them could stay right where they were-frozen in this particular  moment.

Of course that was impossible, but at the moment nothing seemed  unreasonable. Nothing seemed real. She was safe. It was all that  mattered.





CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Maverick wasn't sure if he should share this story with Lindsey. He  wanted to help her, but so much of his story was dark and disturbing. He  didn't want to make her more afraid than she already was and he worried  that his darkness would be too much, that it would make her shy even  farther away from him.

But he'd already told her he would. He couldn't back out now or she  might lose some of the trust in him that he'd managed to earn. Plus, he  felt strongly about her, and he wanted to open up with her. He wanted  her to know him better. And like it or not, this was a huge part of who  he was. Maybe if he shared, then she would be more willing to do the  same.

Only two people knew the extent of what had happened to him-Cooper and  Nick. He would have gladly shared with Ace as well, but his lost brother  wasn't around. Maverick wouldn't give up on him, though-wouldn't give  up on him coming home someday.         

     



 

Taking a deep breath, he began his story.

"It was a surface-to-air missile that came up and knocked my F-18 out of  the sky. My radar officer and I both ejected, but when we hit the  ground, they were waiting. They shot Ken in the head right in front of  me and laughed. It made their day to hurt wounded soldiers. They  considered us the ultimate enemy and they took power in the fact that  they thought they could do anything they wanted to us."

"Oh my gosh, Maverick, you don't have to tell me this," Lindsey said in horror.

"It's okay. I've come to terms with what happened. If this helps you  even the tiniest bit, it's worth telling you the story of my capture,"  he said as he ran a hand down her arm. "I want to be there for you in  every way I can."