She stood there a while before almost sleepwalking to her bedroom to lie down, too tired to even change. She didn't sleep well, though, not when her thoughts were filled with a sexy beast of a man who could have been there right then keeping her warm, who could make her forget her traumas of the previous year-who could make her feel whole again, if that were even possible.
It wasn't worth it. She had to convince herself it was all in her head. If she let go of the tight fist of control she had on herself, she was afraid she would break. She was afraid she would never be the same again.
Maverick would make her feel better for the night-but then he would be gone. She was afraid that if she let him open her up, and then he didn't truly like what he saw, she would see a monster in her reflection.
That couldn't happen. She wouldn't let it happen.
CHAPTER EIGHT
It was a perfect morning, the sun warm, the breeze gentle. Mav would much rather be here at his brother's place than the empty shell of a home he'd taken possession of thinking it would make him more responsible-or more of the man his father wanted him to be.
He hated it there. Hollow, it was. Empty. Lonely. He would never admit that to a single soul. He was pissed the thoughts were even going through his head. Sipping on his cup of coffee, Mav turned and then lost his air.
It took a lot for him to lose his breath, but lose it he did as he watched Lindsey's long dark hair blow freely in the breeze while she walked barefoot along the beach. Damn, she was a vision in her summer dress, looking free and innocent as she watched a flock of seagulls fly by.
If Mav were being honest with himself, he would have to admit that he'd had a crush on Lindsey from the first moment they'd met, and time hadn't seemed to dull his infatuation. If anything, time had only made it grow stronger.
Before the horrific attack she'd dealt with a year earlier, he'd chased her harder than he'd ever chased a woman, trying like hell to gain her attention. Then in a weak moment at his brother's wedding, she'd finally succumbed to him. He'd thought one night would be enough to quench his thirst.
He'd been so very, very wrong. One night had been nothing more than a tease-and he wanted the entire package now. But then the attack had happened, leaving her vulnerable-making him feel like a monster for continuing to pursue her.
And yes, he wanted her back in his bed, but he also wanted to see her happy. He'd never cared enough about a woman to feel responsible for her happiness, but it seemed that all bets were off when it came to Lindsey Helm.
She was just so vulnerable. His protective instincts had taken over. Maverick knew a thing or two about trauma. And one thing he knew for certain was that it wasn't good for a person to dwell on it. It would only fester to the point that a person might give up on living.
He'd seen it with fellow soldiers, and he'd had to deal with it after he'd been captured. That thought almost sent him through his own spiral, so he quickly shook his head and pushed it away.
The point was that he knew how important it was to heal. And if he could control his libido long enough, he might just be able to help this woman. Damn! He was sounding like a sissy even in his own head.
A smile overtook his mouth. He was sure if he helped her heal she would be back to that vibrant woman who could match him barb for barb. The fireworks would once again ignite. His smile turned up a few watts. He was back from nearly starring in a Hallmark movie, thank goodness.
"I'm beginning to think you enjoy staying here far more for the view than for my pleasant company," Cooper said with a laugh as his brother followed the direction of Mav's gaze.
He had to admit that his hulk of a brother looked pretty domesticated while cuddling his three-month-old tiny son against his chest. Both Nick and Mav were in love with the little tot. It was amazing to Mav that he could care so much for a tiny human who did nothing but eat, spit up, and poop all the time. But love the kid, he did.
"Yeah, the view around here has certainly improved in the last couple years," Mav told Cooper as he shook off thoughts of babies and took a sip of his coffee while he watched Lindsey.
"Well, then, why in the heck haven't you done something about it?" Sherman grumbled from his spot beneath the umbrella.
"What?" Both brothers turned and looked at Sherman, who was giving Maverick a nasty look.
"If you're so dang infatuated with the girl, then stop acting like a baby and go and talk to her," Sherman said. "Or are you afraid she's too good for you?" he goaded.
"Uncle Sherman!" Maverick said, his mouth hanging open. All the boys were used to their uncle saying whatever was on his mind, but he was going over the top at the moment.
"She's not just any girl," Mav told him.
"Plus, she's broken right now. He needs to be careful," Cooper warned.
"I would never hurt Lindsey," Mav said, slightly offended.
"Of course you wouldn't hurt her," Sherman grumbled. Both boys ignored him.
"I don't think you would do it maliciously, but if anyone could hurt her, it would be you," Cooper said.
"I'm not going to hurt her. Matter of fact, I plan on helping her so this place isn't so dang depressing," Mav said.
"Now you're talking," Sherman said. "I knew you couldn't help but take care of a woman in distress."
"Help her how?" Cooper asked with suspicion.
"Not in the way you're thinking," Mav growled. Though, in reality, he wouldn't mind bedding Lindsey again-not at all. But that wasn't the objective of his mission. And he wasn't going to say anything like that in front of his uncle. He was likely to get boxed in the ears if he did.
"Just know I'm going to be keeping an eye on you," Cooper warned.
"If you're into that sort of thing," Mav said with a laugh and a wink.
"You're disgusting," Coop said with a frown as he pulled his son a bit closer as if to protect the baby's delicate ears from the crude talk.
"I'm not the one with his mind in the gutter," Mav pointed out.
Before Cooper or his uncle could say anything more, Mav set down his coffee cup and then quickly scooted away. Stepping off the back deck, he jogged down the wide expanse of lawn that led to the beachfront access.
He was officially on a mission. Not only was he going to get Lindsey to chair his fund-raiser, which would cause them to spend a hell of a lot of time together, but he was going to show her that life was too short to be wasted.
Most importantly, Mav was going to show her that she needed him right there beside her. And he wasn't going to give himself time to think about what he was doing. This girl wasn't going to get away.
No matter what it took.
CHAPTER NINE
"I give you full marks for the low back, but I have to take a few points away because of the longer hemline."
At his laughing words, Lindsey's first instinct was to run for the fence and keep on going until she was locked safely inside her cottage. Her feet twitched as she prepared to make her escape. These days, her fight or flight response was all flight and no fight.
She'd barely taken her first step when the voice registered. Maverick. It took all her willpower, but she stopped and turned to face him. He stood there, leaning against the fence separating Coop's property from the beach, but he didn't reach out for her, didn't try to stop her, didn't say another word after his obnoxious comment about her dress.
Instantly, Lindsey's adrenaline slowed and she felt herself relax. She hated that she felt safe with him and no one else. She hated this power he had over her. He seemed to have more power over her than she had over herself.
"You wouldn't exactly be the first person I'd call for fashion advice, Mav," she said after several moments. When she looked up into his sparkling green eyes, she felt the jolt go through her system that she now expected when meeting his gaze.
"Ah, sugar, you wound me," he told her with his standard knock-a-woman-to-her-shaky-knees smile. Between the smile, the confidence, and the damn eyes, the man was a danger to all women-young and old. So unfair in so many ways.
"Nothing could wound your inflated ego," she said, nearly feeling like smiling.
Maybe if Lindsey understood her reaction to Maverick a bit better, she wouldn't always be so thrown when in his presence. But as things stood, she just didn't get it, didn't understand how she could enjoy being around him. He was tall and broad, far too muscular for her normal tastes, let alone for how she felt after that behemoth of a man had attacked her at the hospital.
Lindsey wasn't exactly petite at five feet seven, but she'd always been more attracted to the bookish, academic type, the kind of guys who were good looking but didn't stop traffic, the kind of guys who weren't so solid you felt like you were running into a brick wall when you were pulled against them. She preferred softer men. That was her security net-had been for a long time. She liked that she intimidated men. It meant they were too afraid to hurt her.