Trusting Liam(63)

“I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know what to think or feel about Rhys being here, but I am terrified of losing you, Liam.”

“No matter how much I hate saying this, it has to be him or me.”

“I can’t lose you!” she cried, but the way she said it left me waiting for what would come next.

“But?” I prompted, and she shook her head.

“But I married him. I promised him forever, and even though I want to, I can’t blame him for his reasons for breaking his promise and leaving me four years ago. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about my vows to him now that he’s back. This would be hard enough if I didn’t have you, but I do. Trying to decide between what’s right, and figuring out what I want, is tearing me apart, Liam.”

“Well, this isn’t a game where you can pick and choose who you want on each day, Kennedy. Like I said, it can only be him or me at the end of this if you even decide to choose one of us. It’s tearing you apart. I get it. I can assure you that Rhys and I feel the exact same way waiting for you to decide. I’m not leaving you, but I can’t be physically with you while you make your decision. So I’m going to step back so you can have time to figure things out without me pressuring you to make the decision or choose me. Because no matter how much I want to, fighting for you is only going to confuse you more. Not only am I not about to do that to you, but I’m sure as hell not about to go through what either of my dads went through with my mom.”

“Liam,” she begged, but I shook my head.

“I can’t, Kennedy. I’m sorry. I’ll be right here waiting for when you decide. But until then, I will only be right here.”

Countless moments passed with her sitting there crying before she left my office. As soon as the door was shut behind her, I dropped my head into my hands and spent the next hour holding back my own tears as I continued to remind myself that running after her would only make the situation worse.

October 27

Kennedy

I SOMEHOW MADE it home despite barely being able to see the road through my tears. After taking a few minutes to collect myself, I got out of the car and walked into the condo. I’d barely made it a step inside when I paused with my hand still on the door.

There was laughter coming from inside my condo.

Kira had gotten so much better, but I hadn’t ever come home to this sound . . . and it felt out of place considering the mood when I’d left, and my mood now.

Taking my hand off the door, I took the last few steps inside so I could see into the living room, and paused again.

Both Kira and Rhys stopped laughing and stared at me with wide eyes when they caught sight of me from where they were sitting on the couches, and an awkward silence engulfed the room for long seconds until I gestured to the front door.

“Uh, we—Kira, we need to go to work.”

Kira quickly got up from her spot on the love seat and walked over to me. When she reached me, she grabbed my hand and whispered, “Are you okay?”

I looked at her in confusion, then glanced at Rhys. “With you laughing?”

Rhys’s worried eyes stayed pinned on me as Kira stepped closer. And even though I knew she was trying to get my attention, I couldn’t stop looking at the man sitting on our couch—just like I did every time I was in the same room with him.

“You’re crying,” Kira whispered, and squeezed my hand.

I finally tore my eyes from Rhys to look at my sister, and put my hand up to my face to find it wet. “Oh, I thought I . . .” I trailed off and shrugged. Apparently I hadn’t pulled myself together as much as I’d thought I had.

“We’ll talk about it in the car. I’ll go get ready.”

Once Kira walked away and had shut her bedroom door behind her, I looked back at Rhys to find him now standing—the same look of worry in his eyes. I dropped my gaze to the floor and walked toward my room, but stopped when I heard his voice.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly. His voice was just as deep as Liam’s, and the rough tone was something I had loved once and craved for long after he was gone. But now the sound was only a reminder that Rhys was back in my life—as if his standing in front of me wasn’t enough—and that I now had to choose between him and Liam.

“I’m fine.”

“You talked to him,” he stated. There was no question; I doubted my face left any room for one.

“Yes, I talked to him. But whatever you’re gathering from the way I look right now, I can tell you that you have it wrong.”

Rhys nodded but didn’t say anything else, and after a few seconds, I began walking toward my room again.