Trusting Liam(30)

As soon as I reached the shoreline, I walked along the hard, wet sand for ten minutes before turning around to head back. When I knew I was getting closer, I looked up to search out the group, and just in time to catch Kira as she came barreling toward me.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she squeezed me tighter.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used what’s going on with you and Zane like that.”

She shrugged and shook her head as she took a step back. “No, you were right. I’ve had the worst mood swings since we moved here. I really shouldn’t have used . . . well, him. That wasn’t fair, I know. It was low, and I knew it would be before I even said it.”

I started to deny it, but a laugh bubbled up from my chest instead. “Yeah, that was pretty shitty. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

Kira smiled widely, but it fell soon after. “Tell me really, why are you pushing Liam away?” I started to respond, but she cut me off by talking over me. “And don’t lie to me again. You know you can’t anyway. I didn’t buy any of what you told me before the bonfire.”

I sighed heavily and my shoulders fell. “I just can’t let him get close to me. You were right . . . about the similarities between the two of them. I hadn’t realized it until I left the car, but I think I still knew before, and it scares me. I’m terrified of the way he makes me feel just by being near me.”

“Just because he was a dick doesn’t mean Liam will be too. You can’t write off all relationships because of one bad one.”

I raised an eyebrow. “But it was a really bad one,” I said in an attempt to help my case.

“They won’t all be.”

“But where will this even go? Liam lives here, we live in Florida. Who knows how much longer we’ll be here? It won’t be forever, and what then? There’s no point in allowing myself to get involved with him.”

Kira was quiet for a minute, her brow pinched together as she thought, and I knew she couldn’t deny that I had a point. “Maybe . . . maybe not. All I know is that when you let your guard down, I see a side of my sister that I haven’t seen in years. I remember the way you looked that day Liam first came up to us in the gym. And I still remember the way you thought about him for months and months after only one night with him. So whether or not this ends badly, I think you should let yourself have fun while we’re here, and while he’s close to you.”

“I don’t think I—”

“You’re already hurting both of you, Kennedy. Just think about it.”

And I did. For about an hour.

I didn’t let my walls completely fall like I had at the bonfire, but I was letting myself have a good time with Liam and his friends, and it was impossible to miss the way Liam was reacting to my mood. I kept catching him staring at me with a hopeful look on his face, and his smiles were never ending, but he was making sure not to get too close. I knew he was being cautious to protect himself, but I was still thankful for it. And without having to watch out for me and my bitchy mood, Kira looked like she was enjoying a day away from her Zane depression.

“See? Not so bad, is it?” Kira asked when we were grabbing drinks out of the coolers.

I tore my eyes away from where Liam had just stretched out on a towel, and looked up at my sister. “What?”

“Letting yourself go when you’re near him. It’s not so bad. It already looks like it’s easier for you than forcing yourself to be miserable.”

I bit back a smile and elbowed her side. “No one said I was changing my mind.”

Kira started to laugh, but cut off abruptly and grabbed my arm. I didn’t need to ask why, because I was watching it too.

A girl who had shown up only about twenty minutes before had walked over to where Liam was lying down, put a foot on either side of his hips, and sat down on his lap—like it was an action she’d done a thousand times. The second she was down, Liam pushed up so he was sitting as well, and then the next movements were so fast that it was hard to see who leaned in and reached for the other first. As soon as their mouths were pressed together, I looked away and into Kira’s confused and apologetic eyes.

“Do you want to leave?” she asked softly, but I shook my head and glanced back at the pair and found Liam watching me as the girl said something to him and ran her fingers through his hair.

“No. No, I think we should stay.”

After all the times he’d made me feel sorry for pushing him away, I didn’t even care about the way it seemed like something was painfully squeezing my heart. If that was how he wanted to play after everything that had already happened . . . I was game.