“You don’t have to tell me what Matt did to you.”
“But I want to. I need to.”
“My parents died when I was seventeen. I used the inheritance to pay for my education and buy my condo outright. It was supposed to set me up, to make my life easier. Then I met Matt.” I stared into my coffee cup. Embarrassed at what I had to say.
“When I met him, he was studying to become a doctor. He was struggling to pay his bills, I asked him to move in with me so he didn’t have to spend money on rent. Then after a while he was going to get kicked out for not being able to pay his tuition that year. So I took out a mortgage and gave him the money to pay his tuition arrears.” I looked up, Jay was shaking his head. His fists balled so tight his knuckles were white.
“Before I knew it, I had a mortgage so large I could barely afford it. I couldn’t afford it. I mean, I can’t afford it.” Jay’s fist pounded the table, causing me to jump. I gulped and look at Jay, his nostrils were flaring.
I continued, my voice shaky, “One day Marla went to meet a new client about hiring for their finance department. It was a call centre operation. As she walked up to the entrance, Matt was there. The whole thing was a lie. He wasn’t studying medicine. He was selling solar panels over the phone. He wasn’t studying to be a doctor.” Jay picked up his mug and hurled it against the wall, shattering it to pieces. Coffee spattered across the paint. I jumped, and tears welled in my eyes.
He came over and stood beside my chair. He cradled my head against his frame, and the tears flowed in earnest. Shaking, he pulled me to stand and embraced me. My head moved with his shallow breaths.
After a time, his breath calmed, and he said, “I’m sorry he did that to you.”
My initial shame gone, I felt much better. Relieved. Like maybe Jay understood me better. Understood why it was so crucial to be able to trust him. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself closer to him. Close enough to flatten myself as I melted into him.
“Thank you,” I said, then kicked myself. Stop saying thank you.
Jay tilted my chin up to meet his eyes. He wiped my tears, and said “If there’s one thing I can promise you in life, it’s that I’m nothing like him. Nothing. Matt and I could not be more different.”
I gave a little nod and lean back into his chest. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and be safe. Safe in his arms. James’ arms. We stayed like that some time, before sitting back down and finishing our breakfast, the coffee soaked wall beside us.
“I have a meeting I can’t get out of, I’m taking it from my home office so we can have lunch together. But in the meantime, make yourself at home. Rosie will see to all your needs.”
“Okay,” I said, disappointed.
I plodded aimlessly around the never-ending house. Through room after room, some formal some casual. I needed to think things over, I couldn’t deny my feelings any longer. Couldn’t deny his reasons for lying made sense. It was just, hard. Hard to forget everything.
Jenny would reassure me. I made my way back to my room to find my phone, but couldn’t. I buzzed Rosie.
“Yes?” she said.
“Do you know where my phone is?”
“No, sorry.”
“Can you ask Jay, James for me?”
“I’ll get him.”
After she left I stood in the closet, examining all the amazing dresses. Jenny would go nuts at them. I stopped at one that stood out a short, tight red satin dress with a plunging neckline and back. I will be wearing that to dinner and see where it leads me.
“Abbie?” Jay said from my bedroom door.
“Thanks for coming,” stop saying thanks, “Sorry for interrupting, I can’t find my phone, do you know where it is?”
“It was lost at the club, but I will get you another one.”
“Oh,” that really sucks. “Thank you.” I groaned at myself.
“Anything else?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Nope.”
“I have couple more hours of work to do before lunch. I'll show you how to work the cinema and you can watch a movie.”
“Sounds great,” I said smiling. I’m always up for watching a movie.
He showed me how to work the apps and how to open the automated curtains, then I settled in to watch The African Queen. I’d seen it so many times I could recite most of the lines by heart.
Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn bickered away, but I didn’t hear a word of it. I’d drifted into a trance of Jay. His trance.
Silence snapped me back to reality when the credits finished rolling. I put another movie on. Funny Girl. Figured I needed a laugh.
And I did laugh. My mind wandered to the photo in the email and smiled. That afternoon was amazing. The things he did to my body, and the way he’d made me feel were nothing short of incredible.